Important Stuff

Monday, October 25, 2010

The Monday Update 10/25/10

Very little news on the news front this week.  We're nearly up to 100 followers; we may hit it this week!  We owe a big thank you to the tabletop community for believing in our vision and blowing up readership in a very short amount of time.  It's been a fun ride so far, and we're just getting warmed up.  We can't wait to continue promoting your blogs and bringing you the best original content that we can. 


Friday, October 22, 2010

User Content Friday: Tournament Attendance as a Painting Aid

Gmort is back with some more sage advice about tournament play.  Or in this case, preparation for tournament play.  It's part overview of the process of army building, part time management seminar and part ramblings of a crazy person.  Or 'nutters' as they call them in ol' Blighty.  Be prepared to be better informed than you were before you started reading.

I don't paint very often...

Halley's comet appears with greater regularity than my paintbrush does.

"But GMort, you have several fully painted armies I hear you shout"*, "Are you one of those bastards who gets other people** to paint your armies?"

*or that may be the same voice in my head that for some reason want's me to kill clowns...
** Admittedly my girlfriend sometimes helps with the last minute stuff as she's better at doing squad markings than me and can base 20 models in about a fucking minute...

So I obviously need some motivation to paint and that (you've probably already worked out from the post title) comes from going to tournaments.

I'm also not very good with scheduling or time management or chronological resource implementation or whatever the current terminology is. If I have a week to perform a task you can guarantee I'll be doing it on Day 7, Hour 23, Minute 59.....I was that kid doing his homework on the bus on his way to school ;-)

1 comment:

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Where in the World is Lantz?- Lantz off Dance off

Not only is Thursday dedicated to the god of Thunder, the new beginning of the weekend, and the day that  Always Sunny in Philadelphia airs, but it's also the day on which we here at the HoP put down our whiskeys and tip our hats to Lantz.  This week we've got a nice shot of the man himself sporting a transformer ski cap and driving.  Wait, Lantz did you seriously take a picture while driving?  If you really want to be a party to vehicular manslaughter next time you should try simultaneously updating your facebook status to something like 'just blew by a cop going 90,' tweeting about your love of knitted haberdashery, texting about how you've got a photo project due this Thursday for some assholes that run a blog, and programming the location of every nearby gentleman's club into your GPS.  Now that would be a way to go out in a blaze of glory.  Digging the hat though.


My Painting Journal and Me

If you're anything like me, you probably have more than one hobby project going on right now.  Personally I've got some Cadians to finish up, 3 vehicles and CCS for my Elysians, most of an Empire army, Tyranid MCs and gants, and an Ogre Kingdom army to get painted.  Depending on how you rock it, your situation may be slightly better or much much worse.  I don't mind having a fairly large backlog and several distinct projects going on simultaneously- it actually motivates me a little in a strange fashion with mildly masochistic undertones.  Having lots to do means that I've always got a new challenge to change things up.  If I'm bored with a color scheme (like I currently am with my Elysians), I'll switch over and paint something different.  When I get tired of painting troops, I can always slap some paint on a tank, warmachine, or monster. 


Wednesday, October 20, 2010

The Weekly Top X: Marshaling Your Forces

This week's Top X is a bit different... actually, they're all a bit different.  Different themes and gimmicks and what not.  Kinda makes it hard for anyone to notice if anything's only 'a bit' different.  Hmmm.  I need an introductory catch phrase.  I'll have to ask Brent about that...   Crap, I'm typing out my thoughts!

This week the theme is is a fun one for me/us.  We expanded the scope of the time frame we allowed ourselves to work with and decided to not just bring you a handful of posts, but rather BUCKETS of posts.  This week, the them is armies and their development.  So each one of these fine selections are actually a whole string of posts dedicated to getting an army ready for pretend war.


Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Big Jim's Army Stolen- How You Can Help Out- UPDATED W/ PICS!

Late last night I read the unsettling story of Galaxy in Flames author and HoP member Big Jim's army being stolen out of his van while he was at work.  Many of you probably already read about this.  As soon as I saw the story, I knew HoP needed to do something to help out, but I wasn't sure what.  Then I opened my inbox this morning and saw that Loquacious had had already done the work for us and sent in some links to Magilla Gurilla's drive to replace the stolen miniatures.  We here at the HoP think this is great and hope that anybody with some spare chaos minis can replace what's been taken away.  Links to everything relevant will be at the end of this post.


Monday, October 18, 2010

The Monday Update - October 18th, 2010

Not a lot going on this week in terms of new and unusual things at the House of Paincakes.  Little bit of this, a little bit of that - none of it new, but don't let that fool you into thinking that the the crack admin team isn't feverishly working on the problem of giving more than 100% percent of anything.  I don't want to break the news before our experiments pan out... but it may involve magic.

With that out of the way, its on the news... such as it is.

Article Submissions:  With rare exception, the only time we get articles submissions is the couple of days following us begging for them.  So I guess we have to keep begging asking:  Please send in your articles submissions.  PLEASE! 

The Facebook Page: For those few of you who were aware of our Facebook page, you may have noticed that it never updates.  We have no idea why this is.  We've followed the directions and it never works.  Either Facebook can't find our feed or it just wont import anything.  I've even tried burning the feed.  If anyone has any suggestions, feel free to shout out in the comments or shoot us an email.

New Member Monday:
Check out the newest people to make the best decision ever- joining the House of Paincakes!

Stratford Gaming Union

Rust, Dust and Ceramite

Dark Future Games

Last but not least, here's an extra special announcement from your pal, Dethtron:

I've noticed quite a few people referring to this blog/blog network as IHOP.  It's actually just HOP or HoP.  This was a deliberate move to make sure that we weren't infringing on anybody's copyrights.  Seriously, those Pancake people have been known to sue the shit out of people who steal their IP.  So please cease and desist using IHOP to refer to our site, before we get a Cease and Desist of our own.  Remember, we're the House of Paincakes (HoP).


Friday, October 15, 2010

User Content Friday: You Suck and This is Why

Today we have the first part of a two part series from Archnomad over at Skavenblight.  If you can't tell from the article title, Archnomad wants to help you... no, really!  Haha I keed, I keed.  We picked this article because it does actually point out a lot of the rules mistakes that people get tripped up on... and drastically alter the way the game is played.  Its also hilarious.  Right, so take it away, Archnomad...

The matter at hand is why you suck. Simple WHFB beginner mistakes. Some of you vets might even make these, it's a new edition after all and everybody has to learn. So here's some of the common errors I see in WHFB. I should say, this article is tailored to new gamers, because from the feedback I've gotten about this blog a lot of competitive 40k players seem to be jumping on this and waiting expectantly for me to teach them competitive WHFB. Whatever. So I decided it's much easier to do a "What not to do" than a "What to do" article, so here goes.


Thursday, October 14, 2010

Where in the World is Lantz: Driving The Ambulantz

Hey, look at that ludicrous thing Lantz is doing.  Doesn't that just beat all?  ...can you tell I'm writing this without having seen this week's Lantz picture?

Yes, but you're pretty spot on.  What Lantz is doing IS ludicrous. Here's the picture to round out our Thursday tom-foolery - Lauby

 Lantz sez: [it was] A busy week involving drinking, sex, shenanigans, 
more sex and some 3D glasses.

Speaking of embarassing, it's time for this week's not at all shameless grab for filler content contest and we're playing by Dave of N++'s rules.

This week Dave wants us all to stare into the abyss our souls and come up with our most embarrassing moments in gaming- you know, that critical dice roll you failed that still haunts you, that time you managed to knock over your entire army like a bunch of dominoes, or when you went all aggro on somebody and burned down your FLGS. Ok, maybe you shouldn't share something like that last one, but you get the idea.

To get the ball rolling, Dave is going to let it all hang out and share his own personal moment of utter fail:

When I was younger, in one particularly brutal team session, I was alpha striked by two Imperials down to just a Farseer. (My ally was Nids and we were playing on a 3’ x 8’ table – the long way; back then we gamed however we could. They didn’t need to worry about the nids for a few turns)

Still wanting to be able to help lead to the 5 words that would come back to haunt me – “Want me to guide anything?” This is still referenced during any spectacularly fail moment that occurs in our games.

Now we don't want to leave Dave hanging out alone, naked, and in the cold with his embarrassing story.  Let it rip, share your most epic fails in the comments sections.  Who knows, you may be the next person to abritrarily win a shakily designed contest that you weren't even aware you had entered.  Shit, maybe there's even prize support- is it too soon to whisper free iPad*.

===========[foot notes]==============================
*For your generous donation of $599.99 to help support the HoP in this pledge drive season, we will automatically throw the contest, if there is one, in your favor and send you an iPad.  What's that you say? You could buy an iPad for that money; the entire donation would be blown in one swoop.  Well that's your problem buddy.


Wednesday, October 13, 2010

The Weekly Top X: Now with 50% More Commentator

As a result of the last Top X we did, Brent and I got cocktails named after us.  Not to put too fine a point on it, but we now have high expectations from all of this weeks featured authors.  Like maybe some of them will get Brent and Lauby tattoos or re-name there kids after a fictional character of our choosing.  Our Cult of Personality grows larger each day!

In less insane terms, the response we get to the Top X had been growing and its the kind of thing that keeps us warm at night.  So thanks, everyone!

#6:  The HoP readership

Here's to hoping our egos don't get crushed and here's this Wednesday's Weekly Top X:


Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Extra Announcement- Members Index Page. Must Read and Comment!

We've got an extra special announcement for you guys today.  I know that we usually save those hijinks for Mondays, but this week at HoP we're moving some things around in a big way to improve our ability to promote your site. 

K.Blas, author of one of my favorite blogs, Painting with Coffee, volunteered to undertake a major project for the HoP.  I'm particularly stoked about this since it's not just an amazing display of selfless community spirit*, but it's also something that Lauby and I were not looking forward to doing- and did I mention we really think this is going to help you out?

Starting pretty much right now, k.Blas will be taking charge of indexing all of our member's pages.  He'll be putting together a page with an alphabetical list of all of your sites and is even going to include a brief description of your site.  Please leave a brief synopsis of what your site  is all about in the comments thread of this post and we'll be sure to add it to your entry(ies).  Don't think of this as so much a way to pigeonhole yourself, but really to rock your search engine optimization.

What are the final entries going to look like?  Not sure really, we're leaving that in Blas' hands.  He proposed something like this a few weeks ago:

Asshatery, Rock and Roll

That looks pretty solid to me, although I think you should add in the game system(s) that you write about.  Just keep it to short 1 or 2 word tags and we'll see what we can do to help you.  Your entry may then look something like:

40K, WFB, pants, Asshatery, Rock and Roll

 We'll obviously have everything cleaned up and not centered on the page (it's just easier to call attention to the entry style here).  If you don't have anything in to us by this time next week, we're going to have to brand your site ourselves.  Not only is that a huge pain in the ass, but we think you can probably explain what you do better than we can.  Do yourself and us a favor and submit your own synopsis.

The join us page will be updated shortly to include this information as an entry requirement.

Thanks for helping us out with this everyone, especially k.Blas, and I'm looking forward to reading your responses.

=========foot notes=====================
*Though it may sound like it at times, I can assure you that we at the HoP are neither Hippies nor Communists.  That said, if you would like to donate any free love, Trabants, or granola to our cause, please contact us.


Monday, October 11, 2010

The Monday Update - October 10th, 2010

No creative titles today, I'm afraid.  Unless Dethtron wants to snowmobile this bitch and add one.  Stranger things have happened.  Let's just get right into today's business.

Article submissions:  We still need these.  Please keep sending them in.  Seriously.  SRSLY, even. Is it that you guys are afraid?  Are you fearful that your blogging peers will be driven into fits of blood-minded homicidal rage and, in lieu of killing you, will make fun of you?  If it is, please stop.   Stop the fear.  The House of Paincakes is a warm, nurturing environment.  Much like Harry Harlow's surrogate mother experiment.  Dethtron is the wire surrogate mother and I'm the cloth one.  You all are the infant rhesus monkeys taken from your mothers...  wait...  No.  Let me try again with some flashing (for the FireFox users amongst you) red text.  Nothing awful or threatening about that:



Friday, October 8, 2010

User Content Fridays: The Art of Noise

I think it's Dave of N++ week here on the HoP.  Not only did he win the haiku contest, but he's getting his own Friday article feature.  A few weeks back Dave was kind enough to send in some articles that he wanted re-posted and this one rather tickled my fancy.  Being a noise oriented, musically active kind of guy this topic is near and dear to my heart.  Hell, right now I'm giving the old def techs a workout, blasting a rough mix of my band's upcoming EP (which I've been dicking around with for a good week and a half now, hence my recent disappearance from the blogosphere).  Crap, I'll stop self-promoting right now and give Dave the floor.  Take it away Dave....

I don't know about you, but when I paint, I need a distraction. Perhaps it's for the other parts of my brain that won't shut up, or maybe just painting needs a little more excitement. Now, that doesn't mean I want an evil monkey constantly pointing at me while I work or a marching band stomping by my desk every five minutes, but something in the background that other parts of my mind can pay attention to.


Thursday, October 7, 2010

Where in the World is Lantz - Lantzing, Michigan

The Magnet Pro is back!  Once again, we have Lantz in all his splendor:

Lantz ses: Her name is Marianna, and we're very happy together
I don't know about you guys, but I am still stoked about people we've never met allowing us to post pictures of themselves.  ~I'm totally stoked about this series too for some reason, but we need to be careful;  man-lamp love is illegal in most countries.

With that out of the way, its time for the results of the House of Paincakes Super Bad-ass Haiku Contest and Not-at-all Shameful Grab for Filler Content.


Wednesday, October 6, 2010

The Weekly Top X: the Dark Depths of Our Souls

Lauby here, bringing you another installment of the only blog series I've been able to keep running in my entire career as a shoddy journalist.  Its the Wednesday and its the Weekly Top X!

One of the big challenges of this series is to keep it fresh and interesting.  If not for you, then at least for the writers!  So, every week, Brent and I put our heads together and come up with some new ideas for the angles, themes and literary devices we're gonna make use of.  It keeps it fun for us and it keeps the series from becoming as repetitive as the entirety of's archive of list based comedy articles.

Brent: Okay folks, we have ourselves something a bit different today, as I’m sure Lauby has explained in the introduction. Basically, I pick three, he picks three, and we have at the other’s choice. Now, I know I picked my three choices with a ‘grand theme’ in mind... it wasn’t just, “Hey, this is nifty!” The three of mine are linked in a rather obvious way - maybe too obvious? Point is, I can’t help but think of Lauby’s choice in the same way, so I’m going to examine them one by one then take a stab at guessing why Lauby picked the three he did.


Monday, October 4, 2010


As promised, its time for your Monday Update on the House of Paincakes scene.

First up, general site news... or, in today's case, the lack thereof.  That being said -

Article Submissions
Keep sending those in!  Friday would be a sad, lonely place if we didn't have anything from our members' to promote.  Remember, anything you wrote that you think is awesome is fair game.  Just please refrain from suggesting posts you didn't write and/or are on blogs outside of the HoP membership.  Also keep in mind that new and original content gets first consideration and repeated awesome original submissions may be a way to get added as an author at the HoP.

House of Paincakes Super Bad-ass Haiku Contest and Not-at-all Shameful Grab for Filler Content
We've gotten some good entries so far, but we could always use more.  So check out this thread, gaze in awe of Lantz and write a damn haiku, already!  The winner will be presented this Thursday - with or without a new picture of Lantz (we hope there is a new one).

And now, the first installment of a new feature:

New Member Monday
A Monday event within a Monday event!  It's CRAAAAZY.

OK... woah.  Let me dial it down a notch and present (in no particular order) all the new members who've joined the House since last Monday.

Eldar Addict

The Painting Sanctuary


Defending Humanity

Combat Tactics

Crew Shaken, Not Stirred

Terminal Nerdocity

Each one of them a precious stone buried in the porn-soaked flesh of the internet.  So tear yourself away from the boobies and check 'em out!  The blogs, that is.


Friday, October 1, 2010

That Fucking Guy by GMort

One thing that Dethtron and I love is a close fought game between to tightly built armies.  For us, that's the essence of competitive play.  It not about clubbing baby seals or even going to tournaments.  It's just good games with good people.  Unfortunately, a big chunk of the reason the false dichotomy between 'casual' and 'competitive' exists is because of one guy.  That fucking guy, to be precise.  He's not interested in playing a game to the best of his abilities, he's interested in winning.  At all costs.  But he calls himself competitive and he has clones.  GMort has his own, personal Chaotica and humbly put forward this primer to help the world with 'That Fucking Guy".

That Fucking Guy.

We've all had games against 'That Fucking Guy' (which will be abbreviated to TFG from now on).

TFG: also known as 'dick head'
Now I'm not necessarily talking about competitive gamers who build their armies to win, carefully optimise units and know mathematically which unit should beat what as many of my regular opponents enjoy playing like that and are generally not arseholes...well, not all the time anyway ;-).

So, what puts someone into the TFG category?

The following list is by no means conclusive nor in any particular order but it does cover all the things that annoy me most.


Thursday, September 30, 2010

Lantzing the Boil or Where in the World is Lantz?

On Monday, Lantz bravely - some would say, foolishly - volunteered to help us fill our holes....  ~gross...  in the posting schedule.

It turns out that his offer was genuine.  Here is Lantz from The Magnet Pro in all his glorious glory:

Lantz sez: "Me, drinking a hip apple-tini in a hip bar with assumed hip people. I'm hip."
Also, to make this as weird a scene as possible, here's a semi-related Haiku to kick off the official House of Paincakes Super Bad-ass Haiku Contest and Not-at-all Shameful Grab for Filler Content.*

The House of Paincakes
Awesomeness cuts like a knife
Old trout dies alone

So that's it for this first installment in what I hope will become a regular series here.  I think we'll learn something about life's greatest mysteries along the way.  Why does the human spirit feel the need to wander?  What is the meaning of community?  Do magnets work as explained by scientists or are those motherfuckers just lyin' and gettin' us pissed?  Why do I even have these night vision goggles?  Is plaid still hip or is it so fall 2009?

I will leave you with my own Haiku-
Dethtron's MBA
Program so boring; must go
on silk wings time flies

*Official rules:  your haiku most follow the 5/7/5 convention and the haiku must be, nominally, somehow related to the House of Paincakes.  Post your entry in the comments section of this post.  One entry per contestant.  No purchase necessary.  The winner(s) will be selected by the HoP admins and any agents we may designate.  The winner(s) will receive the dubious honor of having a filler post dedicated to their poem(s).


Wednesday, September 29, 2010

The Weekly Top X: Brent’s in Charge; Hide the Beer

This week I forced Brent at gunpoint gently encouraged Brent to be the one that chooses the the top X material.  So if you don't like it, please send all your hate mail to Brent so he can ignore it instead of us.

In all seriousness, Brent had been absolutely swamped with grad school and his busy regimen of whoring himself out across the blogosphere... wait, I said in all seriousness, didn't I?  In any case, Brent is a busy guy and fitting just one more post into a schedule was pretty hard considering all the book learnin' he's been up to lately.  I had been doing most of the legwork and I thought this week would be a great way to get Brent back into the mix as fully as possible.

So let me kick this off Brent-style:

Hello again boys and girls, Unicorns and children of all ages, Brent here bringing you the House of Paincakes Weekly Top X!


Monday, September 27, 2010

Monday is for Lovers

As the House of Paincakes continues to grow, Dethtron and I are always looking for ways to improve the way we do bid’ness. We’ve been considering quite a few things of late and a number of them have actually made their way from being a vague idea to something we can actually implement.

Here’s the latest batch:

A Posting Schedule
The HoP landing page is pretty integral to what we do here. Beyond being a place to get a logo, it’s where people can come and take a look at what the other members are up to via the blog lists and our various promotional efforts. A key factor to getting people to come here is to actually have content to trick entice them into coming back. Now, Dethtron and I have been fairly consistent on getting things posted, but we’ve decided to formalize it bit.

Generally speaking, we’re going to have a minimum of three posts a week until other new and exciting things fall into place. Then, we’ll start ramping that up. Here’s what were working with for the time being:

Monday – HoP announcement/news day. Pretty self explanatory here. We’re just going to use Monday as the day where we share info on what the HoP admins are up to. We’ll also be announcing new members who have joined up over the last week. Expect this to start next week.

Wednesday – Top X day. It’s been like this for a month, so no surprises here.

Friday – User Submission day. We’ll put something up one of the community members have sent us and let people mull over it for the weekend.

Tuesday/Thursday – Ladies’ Choice. We have some stuff in the works here, but nothing is finalized yet. These days will likely be used for all the odd-ball stuff that can come up or even for more user submissions.

This may change and/or expand in the future, but we’ll let you know on another Monday.

Blog Roll Changes
At this point, HoP membership is approaching 80 blogs. The blog lists are getting a bit big and we’re beginning to collect old posts at the bottom of them. Primarily, we need to save space on the main page so we’re going to limit the rolls to only show the first 25 most recent posts. We’d do 30-35 if we could, but blogger doesn’t have anything between 25 and 50. If you’re bummed out about being hidden at that bottom, the answer is simple: POST MORE! I mean, seriously, there are some great authors we’d love to see more from

We’re also looking into to creating a member’s list page as well, where we will collect links to EVERY member's page, regardless of post frequency. More on this as it develops.

Keep Sending In Those Article Submissions!
We’ve got a bunch backlogged, but we can always use more. Remember, the more submissions you guys submit, the more stuff you’ll all see on the site. Just keep in mind that when we say we want more submissions, we’re actually asking for more submitters

With that, I’m done blathering on about the House of Paincakes. Check back later this week for Brent’s handpicked Top X choices as well as some other delightful, hand-crafted treasures. Enjoy the rest of your Monday! - Lauby