Funny Things


Friday, November 5, 2010

User Content Friday - Battlewagon Tactics : Deployment

The Antipope has written an interesting 3 part series about how you Ork lovers can get the most out of your battlewagons.  Now, we're only posting the first part due to space constraints, but be sure to check out part 2 and part 3 over on 122nd Cadian.  Also, do yourself a favor and poke around the rest of the Antipope's archives - there's a lot of great stuff for all you servants of the Emprah as well.

One of my precious Battlewagons
So here is the list I'll be using for the upcoming Greek GT (unless I figure out something better or someone convinces me that it really sucks). But how am I going to use it and try winning some games? This is the ways I figured out how to play the army after a year of using similar lists.

For the deployment part, the principles are simple enough. If you win the dice roll at the beginning then give first turn to your opponent. On the other hand most people tend to go first so this works for you if you lose the dice roll. It might sound a bit suicidal but hear me out. This list is very good for flanking your enemy and directing the game on the side you want. So you must know where and how he sets up his forces. If you don't know where he is going to deploy his units then you totally lose that element and you are going to be in for  a few nasty surprises. You'll probably end up chasing fast skimmers across the board. After all you'll have 1/6 chance to go first after all.

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Oops: An accidental Omission

When I was dealing with some join requests a second ago, I made a shocking discovery.  I dropped the ball on Monday and forget to mention the three other blogs that had joined last week.  That's right, I'm a ball dropper.  Nice play, Shakespeare.

In all the excitement of our 100th add, I had forgotten to mention members #97-99.  I'm sorry guys.  So instead of burying you in next Monday's announcement, I'm going to give you a proper shout-out now.

Table Top War

Hulls Angels

The Vanus Temple

Hang on, let me get down on my knees here... [creaaaaaak]...

IM SORRY!! PLEASE FORGIVE ME!!!!

Where in the World is Lantz? - Free Lantz Journalism

The good news:  Lantz was never apprehended by the authorities after last week's brutal assault on good taste.  Not even Interpol's special fashion police squad and the  weight of the might Focus on the Family could bring him to justice.

The bad news:  In all the excitement, he caught Super AIDS SARS bird flu. Or something. Shit, I dunno.


The silver lining:  We still got a Lantz picture!  5 (or is it 6?) in a row, baby!

The harsh reality:  We got THIS Lantz picture:

Lantz sez:  I've been quite sick the last few days, so I sent an Assault Marine Sergeant in to take care of the problem.

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

The Weekly Top X: Crazy 8

Brent: I get to do the intro? Is this thing on?
John: Yes and yes.
Brent: Okay, I’ll spare you my normal opening and get right into the links. I will say we went a bit overboard today and picked a bunch of extra blogs, so get ready for some House of Paincakes goodness!
John: Yeah, we’ve got a lot to cover so the banter won’t be the crunchy corn-dog style you’re used to - more like tempura - light and exotic.

Behold!  The terrifying hound of the the God of Murder!

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

A Not Brent Piggyback Commentary

Not Brent here, kicking out my first article for the House of Pain.  I think I'll call this series 'I Drink Your Milkshake' - and if the lawsuits roll in, I'll roll over and blame what's-his-face.  He's got to be good for something besides bad hair and whining.

I'll get right to the point - something else what's-his-face can't be bothered to do.  The House of Pain is for the cool kids, so I'll keep my straw dipped here, nice and deep.  I'm gonna find something worth repeating and kibitz the shit out of it.

Turns out Rhellion isn't dead after all, but rather changed the name of his hobby blog to Rhellion's Tabletop.  That's nice and vague, meaning he can post about whatever he wants, right?  Take notes, you: that means don't call your blog Only Necrons; that's a short slide to sucks.  Let's get started.

Monday, November 1, 2010

The Monday Update - Brave New World

This is gonna be a news update to remember.  Not one, but two totally boss and cool things happened over the last week.  Both of them milestones.  Lets get into it before I get all maudlin and start crying tears of joy into my beer about our supporters (that comes later).

The News
First up, we are chuffed to bits to announce the addition of two new authors to the House of Paincakes' Peebody Award and Pewlitzer Prize winning team:

Brent (of Strictly Average fame) - He's the hardest working man in blog-business and is probably just one more coke-fueled bender away from trying to storm into the HoP offices with a gun.  Thank god we don't actually have offices.  In all seriousness, Brent has been a big supporter of our efforts and its time we recognized that.  He already has some new stuff in the works so be on the lookout for some uncensored Brent.

I'd say more, but we all know that Brent is two things: a damn fine whore and a good buddy.

Loquacious (of burgeoning World of Wonder fame) - We've tapped her to add some pizazz to the content desert that is the weekend on the HoP.  You may have seen her inaugural post this past Sunday and if you haven't then what the hell are you waiting for?  I'll let her say a few words:

Hey all,

I'm Loquacious. [Hey! I promise I'll be quick.] I'm a wife & mom, and I'm one of those "unicorns"- a lady who games.I came into it honestly- my dad got me into gaming when I was about 12.  I'm married to TheDude (also a gamer) and my teenage kids game as well. I'll be sharing some of my "special brand of crazy" with you, on topics both silly and serious.

[What? My time is up? I just got started!]

They're asking me to keep it short. I get to talk as much as I want on Sundays, though...


So welcome aboard guys!

New Members
Now, our new additions to the blog rolls this past week were a bit sparse.  But it doesn't matter.  We've hit 100 members. Fuck. Yeah.


Hulksmash threw his hat in the ring lat Friday and submitted his blog - Hulksmash's Homeplace - to our humble rolls. 

I'm having a hard time properly expressing how we feel about this.  We about as pumped as two human's can be without actually being ninjas.

From the bottom of our black hearts, thanks to everyone who's helped us get this far - to all the contributors, supporters, members, commentors and readers:  the HoP wouldn't even exist if it weren't for you.

Sunday, October 31, 2010

[Weekly Whimsy] A Word on Rides

Welcome to Weekly Whimsy! An authoritative address on accessorization, accessibility, adaptation and admiration of automobiles among aficionados in our armada of acolytes.

[I adore words, just in case ya didn't know. On to today's topic!]

(No, you're not seeing double. This is posted over at World of Wonder, too.)
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Come along and ride on a fantastic voyage - Coolio, Fantastic Voyage

There's something both fascinating and fabulous about any form of locomotion with a motor and wheels. The appearance of any kind of vehicle seems to turn certain brains to mush, reverting them back to their four year old selves. I've seen it countless times, mostly in men, but a few of the women I know fall victim to it as well. It's especially pronounced when the motor is especially powerful, or is encased in a fancy or visually attractive package. Throw a Lambo out, and -wham- instant stupid.

I'm personally turned into a blithering idiot by vintage muscle cars. I'm an absolute nut for the Shelby era cars, but have a serious case of lust for pretty much any long hood setback power car prior to 1969. A prime example is this luscious hunk:



um.... droool... I'm supposed to be writing a blog entry... damn... Blink... back to the thought at hand...