Important Stuff

Monday, December 20, 2010

New Member Monday: This Ain't No Dry Cough

Good news, everyone.  I didn't die of tuberculosis! Plus, I got to see Tron: Legacy one and a half times.  Wewt.

This guy looks like he's packing about one and a half trons as well.
With that out of the way, let me introduce the House of Paincakes three newest and coolest members:

New Member Monday
Colonel Shofer's Mild OCD Model Blog
Keywords: Too old for promotion, Painting, Modeling, Warhams.. Privateer Press.. wolves... horcruxes?

Terran Forge
Keywords: 40k, 40k painting, 40k modeling, 401k

The Wargate
Keywords: Warhammer Fantasy, Warhammer 40,000, Necromunda, Mordheim, Lord of the Rings Strategy Battle Game, D20, D&D, World of Darkness

And now a winning essay.  It was a tough call and even though The Wargate took the time to make a list of proper keywords (a task this disease addled author appreciates), the essay win has to go to Colonel Shofer:

Do me, do me now.

Thank you.


Sunday, December 19, 2010

[Weekly Whimsy] Lola is My Lady

[Welcome to Weekly Whimsy! Lovely, lethal, long loved- Lola; angel of annihilation. Also, actively analyzing the adoration of armies.]

swing swing swing
chop chop chop

My axe is my buddy
- ICP, My Axe

Earlier this week, the talented J Croxford was featured on FTW's Top ten for this lovely piece:

Seeing it really struck a chord with me. I had forgotten what originally drew me to Khador and their frozen wastelands, their harsh women, and their furry hats. I'd forgotten all about Lola.

Lola originally caught my eye, and then I was drawn to her faithful escort, Butcher. His manic, brutal mien was as alluring as her strong lines and great curves. I knew the moment I saw those two, I was hooked. 


Friday, December 17, 2010

User Content Friday - Better Playtesting: Running The Gauntlet

Nikephoros has been dropping some excellent science about better playtesting over the last month.  In short - we're doing it wrong.  In any case, the HoP is proud to present the first in what will, hopefully, be a longer series over at Bringer of Victory Be sure to check out part 2 if you dug this.  Oh, and bonus 3++ linkage today so Kirby should be happy.

Like many 40k players, I used to be a competitive Magic the Gathering player, and for a short time I was on the Pro Tour circuit. I never won more money than I spent on the trips, so the whole thing was a losing proposition unless you think of traveling to exotic locations to play Magic as a real vacation. Some do, I don't. Tournaments I got eliminated on Day 1 were usually a blessing in disguise because it gave me a day to go out and sight see the place I spent so much money to travel to.

Pictured: early playtesting efforts
Regardless of my boring life story, there are so many valuable lessons I learned about competitive gaming that can carry over to 40k. The biggest lesson in my mind is playtesting. I've mentioned elsewhere that I seriously doubt anyone playtests enough to get useful quantifiable data to make the right decisions about their army composition. There are two problems that cause this.


Thursday, December 16, 2010

Where in the World Is Lantz- Seriously?

This week's Lantz related post will be decidedly Lantzless, as we didn't hear from him this week :(  Lantz, I hope you're ok and not suffering a slow Tuberculosis related death like Lauby is right now.  So, like over the weekend with the Weekly Whimsy, you're stuck with me, Dethtron.  Ever wonder what I really look like?  I slip photos of myself in all secret like every once and a while, but this will be about the most blatantly full on pic of me ever published here at the HoP....


Wednesday, December 15, 2010

The Weekly Top X: Dat Ass

No clever intro today folks - Brent and I are celebrating the holidays early by having an eggnog chugging contest. every time I stop to write, he sneaks ahead even more. No time to waste.  Onward!

Also, Snoop is judging the contest.
1) Claws and Fists - Arena of Death - The Sanguinor vs The Swarmlord 
John: This reminds me of a special character showdown that was published in White Dwarf so many years ago. I loved it then when I was a wee lad and I love it now with newer and better contenders and better methodology. Dice for the dice throne of Khorne!
John: Also: FIGHT!!!!!!!!
Brent: I agree. This was a cool idea - I’m surprised nobody has thought of it before. My only complaint is there were no pictures to go with it. Even a pic of each model stolen... er, borrowed from the internet would have been great.
John: FIGHT!!!!!!!!!


Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Of Dice and Men...

Dice, those six sided (In the case of 40K anyway) determiners of the fate of the universe…

They have minds of their own you know…and a sick sense of humour...don’t believe me…does this situation sound familiar?

It's for that all-important dice roll, you know the one…that ‘needed to win the game’ die…a two or more is all you need…

Your dice are waiting for their moment. You know the moment I'm talking about. That moment just before you roll when of course somebody will say “Anything but a one”…


Monday, December 13, 2010

User Content... uh... Monday: Dark Eldar Test Schemes

Sorrowshard over at Rant In E Minor painted some super sweet test models for his Dark Eldar army. He then did his damnedest to make sure people knew about how awesome they were. He marched straight into the HoP offices, grabbed Dethtron by his head and said "I'm not going to jail for you or anyone!" Wait, that was Wayne's World... But Sorrowshard did want more people to enjoy his work and as HoP exists as a sort of non-profit pimp, we said "hell yeah!"

Dethtron and Lauby have asked me to give some insight into the process I use to create color schemes for my new armies.

As I feel they are more interested in the creative process than the actual method of army selection Ill just stick with painting methodology for this article.

I usually have a few ideas floating around in my head I'll usually go through the various GW schemes for ideas, trawl the net, art, comics whatever, some ideas just stick and start to grow out of some of that collated stuff.

For Example, the first piece was kinda inspired by the Obsidian rose scheme which was my favorite from the Dex, crossed with some inspirational colour work by MajesticChicken. throw in my own painting style and approach to colour and voila we have a test model.

1st attempt, failure
At this stage depending on how it takes me ill always try and do a decent standard on my test models, as I want to know how good it can really look. I'm trying to convince myself its the shizzle after all. The quicker I can hit what I want/clicks the less painting I have to do, Less painting = good.


New Member Monday: Pizza is Metal

Actual News... Apparently
As soon as we stop reporting that there's no news, we have news:  The HoP writing staff just got international.  GMort has joined the HoP team!  We've re-published a number of his articles over the months and we thought it  time to take things to the next level.  Keep your sleeves rolled up for an additional weekly shot of GMort via the HoP. 

I don't have much else to say about this, except that we're chuffed to bits.  Sooo.... its animated GIF time!


Sunday, December 12, 2010

[Weekly Whimsy] Goes to the Movies

[Welcome to Weekly Whimsy, where Loquacious' lot leaves laid-up.   Lays low, letting libelous logician lasso longhand.]

Shit, alliteration is hard, which is precisely why I wanted to write the intro in the form of a palindrome.... that was until I remembered how hard palindromes are- race car.  'Dethtron what are you doing here?' you may be asking yourself right about now.  Well it seems that Loquacious has taken ill and I have, therefore, asked myself to take up the mantle of gaming's best written female perspective on the net.  Now, I am sad that Lo couldn't pull through enough to scrawl some NyQuil addled musings for us- that would have been pretty amazing- but we'll all have to make do with me for the week.


Friday, December 10, 2010

User Content Friday - Using Unused Units!

Sometimes getting people to volunteer content for Friday is a lot like playing Marco Polo with deaf people.  Sometimes its significantly easier than that.  Nick from IDICBeer hit us up for some pimpin' the other day and we were happy to oblige.  As a kind of twofer, check out Nick's work around for the missing spore pods before jumping in with the food for thought below.

Nick speaking,

So I have previously talked about how playing different scenarios and missions can really change your army, and how Cities of Death really helped my Wulvenkind perform on the table, even with my old Codex. But the best thing about playing something different, is that it can unlock those units that you don't usually play with! And that is what I love about playing Cities of Death...

I have found that it also makes a big difference to my Eldar army as well, allowing me to take advantage of the buildings and scenarios, and getting a different type of list on the table is what it's all about. Here is a peak at my standard 1500 point list for Cities of Death.


Thursday, December 9, 2010

Where in the World is Lantz? - a gLantzing Blow

We've still got plenty of Lantz puns, friends. Plenty.

Lantz still has plenty of pictures too, as it turns out.  Here's one of them now:

Lantz sez: "Next in line for the Crimson Fists' special characters. Joke not appropriate for those under the age of 13."

Lantz, you irreverent rascal!  Is there no line you wont cross?


Wednesday, December 8, 2010

The Weekly Top X: Don't Fight the Feelin'

Today feels like a day for some Rappin 4 Tay. You see, Brent and I finally got our shit back together and its an old-school Top X (or as old school as a 3 month old feature can be).  The post selection is a bit eclectic and the commentary is pipin' hot.  Plus Lo helped out a bunch with our selection process.  Its a Top X super group on top of everything else.  

1) Home of Cadaver - Another Land Raider Storms In
John: You’re back. Good. Now don’t run off this time, we’ve got a lot to cover.
Brent: Man, I don’t know where that came from! I’m here, aren’t I? Anyway, this post was on my shortlist too - beautiful, crisp work, and it’s well worth gawking over.
John: That Land Raider is definitely tankin’ like a BOSS. One of the interesting thing about tanks in general is that due to their size, a lot of the techniques one would use to paint a single trooper can’t be used in exactly the same way. It has a lot to do the sheer size of a model like this - large flat areas and a ton of detail. On the other hand, there are a lot of things you can do on a tank that just don’t work well on your little mans. What I’m specifically talking about is how Cadaver used weathering and chipping techniques as stand ins for line highlights. Its simple and effective way to break up the lines of the tank and give it some character while sidestepping the all to frequently cartoony look that can happen with line highlights. Cadaver has done a simply - and I’m going to get a bit Limey here - splendid job on this beastie.

See, 'cause its a godhammer pattern LR.


Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Dethtron's Imperial Armour 8 Elysian Codex Review- Heavy Support

Sadly we've now come to the very end of this- the least read, swearingest codex review of all time.  Hopefully those of you who have read this have gotten inspired or at least been able to see the wonderful job Forge World did in creating their first list in the history of the universe to actually feel like it might be balanced and suitable for wider play than just games for funsies with your pals.


Monday, December 6, 2010

New Member Monday - Let's Have a Threesome

After having done a large number of these Monday Updates, I've come to two important realizations.

1)  I just plain don't like squash
2)  There are only so many ways Dethtron and I can humorously describe that we have no news to report.

So, unless there's actual HoP related news to share, we're just going to call it New Member Monday and give the new guys a bit more attention.

New Member Monday

Dice Rolla -
Keywords:   Warhammer Fantasy, Warhammer 40k, Warmachine/Hordes, de bellis antiquitatis, The Simpsons, Book Reviews, Travel, Terrain Building, AAAC

Chaos Kingdoms
Keywords:   Warhammer Fantasy, Warhammer 40, Battletech, D20, miniatures, mods, painting, gaming, etc....

From the Fang
Keywords:   40k Space Wolves

Now, since Monday's will be short, it's time to make those essays count.  From now on, the best application essay from the bunch gets posted.  Papa JJ from Dice Rolla is this weeks funniest author:

Congratulations on the burgeoning success of your blog community. I am happy to report today it reaches the pinnacle of accomplishment as I, God’s gift to the internet, seek admission to your network’s blogrolls. I believe the inclusion of my blog, diceRolla, will prove to be a great coup for the House of Paincakes, the reasons for which I am prepared to detail for you in a manner completely devoid of pomp or hyperbole.

My innovative painting style puts Golden Daemon winners to shame and has even inspired a series of articles at Laubersheimer Industries. My tactical and list building advice provides a foundation for imitators the world over, including YTTH and 3++ is the new black, prompting their authors to send me daily emails asking for help. My battle reports are more epic than The Iliad. Dethtron even had to coin a new phrase in order to adequately describe my gaming prowess, AAAC, which means, “Awesome At All Costs.” In short, I have had more impact on our hobby in a year and a half of blogging than the other JJ has had after decades of designing games.

But diceRolla is so much more than just the most valuable gaming resource on the...

YUCK! Even joking around that’s more internet bluster than I can muster. I admit there is nothing groundbreaking about my painting and I’ve not yet written a single battle report for my website. Further only someone truly desperate would seek my advice on tactics or army lists, and a sense of propriety precludes me from offering any out of consideration for my dismal win-loss records. Even Jervis Johnson has accused me of peddling meritless articles, and that’s really something coming from him.

I like writing for my blog and other people seem to be enjoying it as well, but I certainly do not consider myself God’s gift to the internet. I nonetheless think I would be a good member for your online community and would strive to my utmost ability to contribute in a positive way. On most days I’ve got a cheerful disposition which I think is reflected in my approach to blogging and I try to offer support and encouragement to those who share my passion for the hobby. While that may not be a terribly exciting prospect for many in your network, I do very much look forward to engaging with your associate members and having some fun.

A much more fun Monday, I think.  I look forward to getting some feedback - mad props or otherwise.  - Lauby


Sunday, December 5, 2010

[Weekly Whimsy] Lexicon

[Welcome to Weekly Whimsy! Loquacious' love of language laid low.]

Do You Even Understand The Words Coming Out of My Mouth? - Chris Tucker, Rush Hour 


I am very purposeful and pay close attention to intent when I chose my words. Some days, I am a lot more casual and off the cuff, and others I'm much more deliberate. I'm always aware of what the words I am using mean, even if it's a simple complement, or a quick one-liner. I'm especially careful when talking about myself in regards to gender.

I was given a challenge a while ago to find a single word that one could use to describe "women" without the word having reference to or connection with "men".

As a student of words, meaning, history and how they fit together, this was a pretty interesting challenge. I started a collection of words commonly (and sometimes not so commonly) used to describe the female kind and started taking notes. By using Webster's, Roget's, Bartlet's and a few other (more obscure) resources, I have a pretty comprehensive list here.

[An important comment on sexism here: I'm specifically and deliberately talking in a fairly "binary"sort of way on this post merely because it's expedient. I have no grudge or disdain for the trans community, and I am not trying to leave them out of any future conversations; just this one.]

Also, this post is intended mostly as a tool for discussion from all comers, and really has less relevance to the gaming community than my past entries- but it's a subject I find truly fascinating. I thrive on the intellectual considerations behind the words we choose, and hope that by considering this, I can bring some illumination and introspection to the way we interact with each other.


Friday, December 3, 2010

User Content Friday - Playing to (Almost) Win

When Dethtron and I started this thing called HoP, a major part of our conceptual framework was the idea of inclusiveness.  Be it different game systems, languages, play styles or even level of abilities we wanted HoP to be a place for EVERYONE.  Above all though, we wanted to make sure the entire spectrum between WAAC and FAAC is represented.  Because in truth, we believe that most gamers are somewhere in the middle and, at their core, just want to have a good game.  Enter Gmort and his secret recipe Chaotica: 

I have a reasonably well-deserved reputation for being good at 40K. I’m pretty good at optimising lists and can get the best out of most armies. I also enjoy winning (Don't we all?), as I am a very competitive person by nature.

There is one thing I enjoy almost as much as winning though…and that’s almost winning.

However the most fun of all comes from...almost losing.

That last statement probably requires some explanation.


Thursday, December 2, 2010

Where in the World is Lantz? - Strangers From Foreign Lantz

So, it turns out that creating a Lantz post is extremely hard after we missed last week and after my own six-day internet drought.

I think I've managed to piece things together.

First up - Lantz:

Lantz sez:  "This is what happens when I lose a game. Every. Time. I don't have a lot of friends..."

Second - Lauby (since there seems to be some confusion):
Please note that I am a completely separate person.


Wednesday, December 1, 2010

The Weekly Top X - Most of Your Base are Belong to Lauby

America's wang...  hahaha.  How does Dethtron come up with that stuff?  Amirite, Brent?  Brent?


Looks like I'm riding solo.  Well, that's what happens when you fail to ask for an extra day off from work so you can get settled down from your six day vacation and then forget to make Top X selections until the last possible minute, all the while relying on a talented but increasingly busy pool of people.  This sentence brought to you by Auretious Taak.  Oh well, its good for the soul and a great way to get back in the grove of running the best breakfast- food joke-titled blog in ze verld.

Harrison Ford is not impressed with my visual pun


Monday, November 29, 2010

Cyber Monday Update

With Lauby still out traveling around America's wang (aka Florida) for the Thanksgiving holiday, it has fallen on me to tell you that there are no major updates and goings on at the moment here at Paincakes central.


Sunday, November 28, 2010

Weekly Whimsy- Show Some Skin

[Welcome to Weekly Whimsy! Making a minor change this week. Going to paint pictures with pictures today, rather than words.]

Show Your Scars- Metallica, Broken, Beaten & Scarred

Tattoos have become more and more commonplace in society lately. With shows like Miami and LA Ink, we've been expose to the business of the trade and seen the many varied stripes of folks that pursue  modification of their bodies. With Kat Von D and Jesse James appearing as top gossip fodder in tabloids, and style magazines devoting sections to celebrity skin, American culture has begun to see ink as common place.

It used to be that ink was reserved for felons and fighters (ie, soldiers of some type). Now markings and color have crossed into safe territory, and we're seeing things like this regularly:

I don't really mind a well done tramp stamp- it's kind of refreshing in comparison to the many ill-considered permanent additions to a person I've seen.


Saturday, November 27, 2010

Dethtron's Imperial Armour 8 Elysian Codex Review- Fast Attack

Sweet, another section of the army where you're going to want to fill ever slot in the list. This is honestly my favorite part of the army and has several great units to choose from. Deciding what to take is going to be difficult.


Friday, November 26, 2010

User Content Friday - Advanced Blocking Tatics

If you don't know who Kirby and if you don't know what 3++ is the New Black is, then you've really been missing out.  The short of it is this:  Kirby knows his shit and wants you to know yours.  He and his crack team of authors produce scads of good stuff everyday aimed at helping EVERYONE.  Its like a pie factory for whales.. or something.  This article on blocking is full of solid advice on advanced play and just tickles us pink.

Blocking is a quintessential skill in 40k (and Fantasy but we'll focus on 40k here) and we've discussed it's most basic of uses before. By using vehicle hulls and infantry models (i.e. bubble-wrap) combined with the 1" rule in 40k, you can impact significantly on your opponent's ability to control the battlefield through movement. The most direct forms of this tactic are delaying opponent's reaching your lines (especially assault based armies or units like Blood Angels and Terminators) and forcing an assault on a particular unit, etc. Whilst it can basically be summed up as "throw unit forward to block other unit's forward movement as much as possible to defend against scenario x" there is a lot more thought required to go into that. This article doesn't look at that :P (Ha! I had you all fooled) as it was covered to an extent in the previously linked article. I also assume you can extrapolate when it's a good idea to blindly rush forward and block a Land Raider and when it's not a good idea to blindly rush forward and block a Rhino...


Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Thanksgiving Top X

Hello all, Brent here. It’s a Thanksgiving Top X... and the bosses are out of town! They’ve had the poor judgment to leave me and Loquacious in charge around these parts.

Brent: And then I turned around and the article was practically done! Loq is a newbie at the ol’ Top X, but frankly she put Lauby and me to shame!

In true Brent tradition, I’m claiming credit and riding her coattails. She did the original comments and I’m playing follow-up. After all, it wouldn’t be the first time a guy has taken credit for a woman’s work.

What, too much? Or too true?

Loq: No comment...

Loq: Here Dave G takes on some of the standard thinking regarding painting and gives us all a good wake-up call by kicking convention square in the junk. Not only that, but he generates some fantastic commentary and gets the community involved in considering why we paint and how we approach our art. It’s killer and you should completely give it a whirl.
Brent: I occasionally make the comment that this post or that should be on the All-Time Top X List. Lauby pointed out we don’t actually have one... but this post is the reason we should.
Loq: I could not possibly agree more seriously. I’ve got this bookmarked as I want to read it over and over.
Brent: Yup. Seriously, this is among the best I’ve ever seen.

Loq: Yes, it’s in response to something over on my blog- but it’s something so awesome it needs its very own hat-tip. The amount of information put together here is outstanding and a must for any newbie IG player. Again, Max does something seriously rockin’; he gets the other IG players involved and adds as he goes by way of community discussion.
Brent: (Where did you find these? Were people saving the top content for this week? I think you’re making us look bad.)
Loq: And how hard is that?

Loq: BSMoove’s outstanding work is the stuff of my dreamland- beautiful, colorful, well designed and conceived and done with stellar execution. The dude’s not satisfied with being great- he wants to be balls out EXCELLENT, and so he’s examining all of his standard techniques to see if they can be improved or otherwise tweaked to make his work even better. [Inconceivable, I tell ya! But he’s trying.] With this post he shares a great technique and asks for feedback - and gets it in spades. Whether it’s his cheerful manner or his great work, folks love talking to B and he gives as good as he gets.
Brent: Technically, BSMoove isn’t a part of the House of Paincakes community, but I don’t have the heart to remove him. First, he should be, and second, he’s one of the very best out there. I take credit for him, since I interviewed him in the very first On Blogging Interview... you see, it’s like Amway...
Loq: Pyramid schemes? Really? That’s never gonna happen. Even NotBrent’s better than that.
Brent: Well, that how it should work. *sigh* Lauby didn’t let me get away with that either.

Loq: Here’s yet another example of doing something freaking fun for the community. Silar’s Badab War project is picking up steam and he’s got people joining and adding faster than popping corn. the response he’s getting to this small side project is pretty awesome, and then he up and finds something really cool as a resource and just has to share it. I’ll admit to not knowing enough about the fluff/back story here to say anything wise, but I love the idea and I’m thrilled to see the response in the 40K community. Can’t wait to see what else this group does!
Brent: I’ll admit, this post hit me on the nostalgia button. I remember that little booklet - the one pictured in the post - from when I was a kid. (Well, in high school, anyway... but that’s pretty young.) I used to pour over it and imagine I could paint. Well, it’s years later and my friends would probably tell you I still can’t paint, but those pictures bring back mad memories!

Brent: Ah, the Back 40K, another personal favorite blog! Here’s a post I did read and enjoy before Loq picked it up for this week’s Top X. Like many fans of the FNIF, I enjoy a good snowmobiling. (Heh.) I’m glad Sandwyrm didn’t steal ‘Not Brent Green’ like someone out there... you know who you are... in the Great Multi-Mobile Massacre of 2010. No link: some things just shouldn’t come to light again! *shudder*
Loq: I’m leaving that one alone. But take a gander at the awesome kicking out of Sandwyrm’s blog and join in the fun! You won’t regret it.

That’s all from us- thanks for giving it a whirl and hope you enjoy. - Loquacious [Brent’s MIA so I guess he says “hugs & gropings” or something.]


Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Army Spotlight- An Evening with Nyhil Pt. 2

Today we're closing the book on my interview with Nyhil about his renegade guard, and getting a chance to talk about what I'm sure you all wanted to hear from him about- the hobby stuff.  It was great getting to chat with him via Google docs over the last few weeks, so I'd like to thank him for talking to me.  Make sure you check out his blog, 10"Template after you're done reading the interview.  If you've go an army that you'd like to share with the world and think you're worthy of inclusion in this series let us know at


Monday, November 22, 2010

The Monday Update - The Road to Turkey Day

Another problem free HoP week has come and gone.  Nothing out of the ordinary to report other than the House of Paincakes is one step closer to obtaining our own Continuum Transfunctioner - a mysterious and powerful device whose mystery is only exceeded by its power.  We're currently in talks with some Norwegian dudes.  More on that as the situation develops.

We're also firmly in Thanksgiving week. So for those of you who don't live on the most awesome continent in the world, an explanation is due.  You see, thanksgiving is all about giving thanks for numerous and sundry things and eating birds in large feast like setting.  Its pretty good deal as long as you don't have to cook.  Its also the time of year where school kids the nation over are taught that our awful, bandy-legged puritan forefathers would have starved to death if it weren't for some Native Americans and their magic corn growing techniques.  Relations with the white man deteriorated after that, but nobody mentions it.  Oh, and pumkin pie.

What this means, specifically, for the HoP is that our posting schedule will still be the same even with me going to Florida for a week to eat my bird flesh (PS: in your faces).  Just be on the look out for Brent's temporary wingman come this week's Top X.  Its should be a good time.

I'm as stoked as this guy. Actually, he's probably a bit more excited than I am.

With that out of the way, its time for New Member Monday.

 A Plague Spreads

Reds Corps - Red Scorps - Red Scorpions 

The Dice Abide

Outsyder Gaming

Plenty of good stuff for you to look at over the break.  After you stuff yourself full of yams, cranberries and what have you, loosen that belt buckle and read some blogs.


Sunday, November 21, 2010

Weekly Whimsy- "Let The Boys Do It"

[Welcome to Weekly Whimsy! Loquacious lets loose, laying low long-lived lamentations on living as a lady.]

[Absolutely not at all in response to Dethtron, but it's pretty fitting.]

"When a man asks a woman, "Would you like help with that?", what he's really saying is:
"Would you like some d**k?" "- Chris Rock, Bigger & Blacker


I honestly and truly don't see myself as a feminist. I have too many old fashioned values for that; but I am a highly modern woman, trying to get by in a (mostly) modern world.