Important Stuff

Monday, May 16, 2011

New Member Monday - The Awful Week When Blogger Stopped Working for 20 Hours and Everyone Lost Their Mind

Myself included.  Thankfully the long nightmare that humanity had to endure was closed up rather nicely. Now we can all get back to the REAL worry that is the rapture happening on the 21st.

So, in the interests of me getting back to a nice cup of tea and quietly worrying about where I'm going to store all my stuff once the world is destroyed, lets get on with it.  Oh, and a special 'sorry' to Maximum Heresy for leaving you out last week.

New Member Monday

Maximum Heresy
Keywords: Reviews, Community Spot Light, Jazz Hands, Spirit Fingers, All kinds of hobby stuff

Jack's Painting
Keywords: Painting, 40k, Fantasy, Tutorial, The Dark Depths of the Human Soul

Grey Knights of Titan
Keywords: 40k, Grey Knights, Ordo Malleus, Painting, tactics, list building, battle reports

Tabletop Hell
Keywords: Warhammer, 40k, Malifaux, Blood Bowl, Boardgames review and Gamer talks

The Painting Frog
Keywords: Warhaming in genreal, infinity, 40K, fantasy, Hordes, Warmachine, Confrontation, RPGs

Sadly, 20 fewer hours of blogger was just too much for people it seems.  No winning essay from our new members.  In place of that, enjoy this nonsensical video:


Sunday, May 15, 2011

[Musings of a Game Store Owner] Cloak & Dagger

Earlier this week, James at Warp Signal wrote a very interesting and compelling article about Games Workshop’s business practices. This particular post, “Corporate Opacity”, was so good and so in line with the kinds of conversations I have had with Dethtron that I wanted to address it.

As a GW consumer, James has serious and thought provoking concerns about why things happen the way they do, and has written a passionate and honest post. His ideas are expressed eloquently and coherently, rather than the typical fanboi or troll “I R better than u” quotes you see abundant on forums and so forth.


Friday, May 13, 2011

Top X: Dodging Jason on Friday the 13th

So Lauby writes and is like, “Yo,” and I’m like, “Yo, too,” and all, ‘cause that’s how we talk when nobody else is around. We’re street like that. He’s like, “I won’t be around on Friday the 13th so you’ll have to die without me.”

...what? But I knew I must have misunderstood him, so I was like, “Dude, can you repeat that?” and then added, just to show I wasn’t rattled, “Yo.”

“You’ll have to try without me,” he said, but I knew that’s not what I heard.

So I did some research. Turns out, on Friday the 13th at the International House of Paincakes, there’s a 50/50 chance of just dropping dead after you post. From natural causes - because death by Jason is as real as it gets.

Lauby was dodging me! Leaving me to my own devices against a semi-mystical Hollywood killer. This sucks on a lot of levels.

I was fairly sure I could fool fate though. I’m street like that. I’m inviting Loquacious to join me - her name begins with an ‘L’ as well, so no doubt that keen bit of misdirection will fool Jason.

(And then I made her do all the work while I ducked out! Jason will no doubt find her instead of me. I’m clever I am...)


Thursday, May 12, 2011

Gaming on a Budget: The Department of City Planning

Greetings all, dethtron is here for a quick update in the Gaming on a Budget Series.  Today's topic is going to be planning. 

This is leading up to a rather large project that I hinted at in last week's article.  I'm still keeping the specifics under wraps, but next week Dave G from N++ will be writing a great guest article for the series while I crunch some numbers, gather materials, and prepare for an epic 2 week adventure.


Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Tiers - Fact or Fiction?

I was recently accused of only using 'Top Tier' armies which was a refreshing change from being called a 'WAAC gamer'.....Actually that may have been 'a Wanker', as I wasn't really paying attention.....


Apparently if you use certain armies then you automatically win.

I wish somebody had told me that years ago so I could have just bought the one army and became the 40K champion of the entire universe with only a minimal initial expenditure. Of course games against other people with that ultimate top tier army may have been a bit tedious as I'm not sure what happens when you both automatically win....

Where was I?

Okay, now I remember. Lets start at the bottom and work up then*,

* This is an entirely arbitrary division so don't get all uppity if you happen to think Orks are awesome.


Monday, May 9, 2011

New Member Monday 5/3-5/9

Hey there HoPers and HoPettes, It's dethtron here bringing you the finest of new members from the last week.  Lauby is many hours away from his home today interviewing to further his career.  I understand he's going to be subjected to a grueling 6+ hour interview and presentation today, so wish him luck.

Given that I've never done the Monday Update before, there's a pretty good chance that my organizational skills will be found lacking and I left somebody off.  If you're not on the list and should be, drop an angry comment here to chew me out for being inept.  But hey, a lot has happened over this past week (Like Star Wars Day!!!!), so cut me some slack.


Sunday, May 8, 2011

[Musings of a Game Store Owner] Deciding Factors

Over at Dick Move, Dethtron’s been talking about the economics of game stores, whether the GW resin switch is happening in his area, GW as an overall business model, and a few other things relating to gaming and money.

I’ve been paying attention, and I have made a couple of comments with my experience as a game store owner. I thought it might be cool for me to share some of that experience here, and let you guys gain some insights along the way.

I hope to shed some light on the mysterious ways of a FLGS owner’s mind. I’m sure that there are a myriad of things that completely baffle you. While I can’t speak for all of the other stores out there, I might have some information or a perspective that will help you understand what’s going on.


Saturday, May 7, 2011

Industrial Milestone #3: Post Count

Dethtron and I have a thing about the number 242.  And Belgian Industrial music.

We've already done Google followers.  We've already done blog roll members.

We've finally got the hat trick we wanted:  post count.

Happy 242nd everybody!

If anyone thinks of anything else that we could have 242 of, let us know at


Friday, May 6, 2011

The Weekly Top X - Over Budget and Behind Schedule

A lot of you out there are probably still recovering from whatever finals you had. I know I am, and I don't even take classes!  So here comes another Weekly Top X to reward you for all that studying and reading with MORE reading.  In your face!

1) Tordeck's Workshop - Another stop on the OHM bus - Part Three
Lauby: I like this - not a lot of talking, straight to the action and plenty of extreme close ups on the important parts.  It's like porn, really.
Brent: Good choice, Lauby! Isn’t this the type of post we want to turn everyone on to? A cool conversion done by a member of the community? Very nice, Tordeck - now where’s the finished model?
Lauby: Yeah!  You've had eight days to finish that ork.  And why you were using a brass scorpion for scale, I'll never know.

I guess they wanted to destroy something beautiful
2) Galaxy in FlamesGames Workshop in Ruins!
Brent: This is proof positive Games Workshop stores are militant brainwashing centers in disguise. Almost like Scientology.
Lauby: Amen to that, my man.  And like Scientologists, the GW staff eradicated something that didn;t conveniently fit in with their wacky world view.
Brent: I’m with you - they stomped on the store? What gives them the right?
Lauby:  Apparently, the same mythological sense of fair play that guides the game design has plenty of room in it for destroying people's hard work.  You mad, Brent? I know I am.
Brent: Of course I’m steamed! It didn’t belong to them - it was a shitty thing to do.
Lauby: You know, I've been thinking...  when life you gives you lemons, don't make lemonade.  Make life take the lemons back! Get mad!!  I don't want your damn lemons!  What am I supposed to do with these!?
Brent: At least we have pictures. Jim, I would have shopped at your store; you guys obviously had a sense of humor!


Thursday, May 5, 2011

Gaming on a Budget: Using Paint Pots

This paint came free with a magazine.  Can't get cheaper than that
Originally, I was going to title this Paint Pots: The art of making a homemade bong or something like that, but as I neither smoke nor endorse the smoking of the chronic, I've decided against it. 

My own neurosis aside, I'm here to write to you about a few money saving, waste minimizing strategies for reusing your old paint pots for fun and profit. 

As gaming hobbyists, we've probably all used up a few paint pots in our day.  Unfortunately, we've probably all let a couple dry up as well.  Don't throw those empty pots away though.  We're going to do a number of low/no-cost projects using other materials you've got lying around, and here's how:


Wednesday, May 4, 2011

User Content Wednesday: Ogryn - Not Terrible

Sorry for the late post today, but its finals.  And even though I'm not a student, it still effects me.  Stupid higher education.  With your dumb smart crap.  Moving on...

Today's reblogging comes by way of Sons of Taurus who points out that Ogryns can be pretty fun. Really, who doesn't secretly want those goofy bastards to be better?  Hell, even Stelek has got a soft spot for 'em.  This post may not address the rules issues, but at least it gives you some uses for those $22 lumps of metal you've never used.  My sincere hope is that someone out there will get those goofy bastards out and on the table.  Especially you, Dethtron! 

Hardly a ringing endorsement, I know.

Ogryn aren't the most competitive option in the Imperial Guard codex. If you're going to a tournament, you're probably better off with VAVOOM - Vendettas and Veterans with Ouchie Ouchie Meltaguns.  They're not "optimal" in the mech&melta world, but they sure are fun.

Who are the Ogryn? 
Ogryn are abhumans; an offshoot of normal humanity.  The Imperial Guard uses them for their brute strength and durability, and you can too!

Modeling GW makes official Ogryn models, and IMO they're fine.  The only issue is that being large metal GW models, they're pretty expensive.  If the cost doesn't scare you off or you can find a deal, go for it.  With a little work, these can be converted too, like those at Heresy Workshop that were converted to fit in with the wonderful Forge World Renegade Ogryn.


Tuesday, May 3, 2011

How Important is the Army List?

The competitive part of our little community uses the phrase 'optimization' a lot. On a most basic level this means that the army has the most cost effective units available in each Force Organization Chart slot and has no unnecessary upgrades on units.

On the other hand the more Fluffy members of the self same community claim this makes boring spammy armies.

The truth for the rest of us lies somewhere in between those two extremes.


Monday, May 2, 2011

New Member Monday - They See Me Blog Rollin'

Oh yeah, I dusted that old chestnut off.

Alternatively:  They See Me Rollins.  (yes, I know how awful a joke that is)
Just a quick update before I run screaming into another New Member Monday:

The hallowed House of Paincakes blog rolls have been re-organized per this post.  So if you looked around a few weeks ago and noticed that you had been moved - now you know what happened.

Other than that, I did a little bit of trimming and pulled out some dead links.  If you're the owner of either one of these blogs:

Torment of Soul
Ragnar’s Fist

...and you feel like your blog still exists, hit us with an email and we'll get you back on the lists.


Sunday, May 1, 2011

[New Kid In Town] Moving Forward

As a newer player, I've had a really good time learning the game. I have found a lot of things that work well for me, and discovered that some stuff just doesn't matter in the long run. The guys I play with have been great and have really helped me out along the way, and I know I have made improvements since I first started.

Things that I know I still need to work on really haven't changed much. One of the things I really need to pay attention to is the future of the board.


Friday, April 29, 2011

The Weekly Top X - The Lament of Dallas

Brent: So I’ve wandered back to the Top X this week.

For those who may not know, last week I took some personal time from my duties here at the House of Paincakes to travel to Dallas. On Friday I took a refresher course to prep for my licensing exam, which must have worked because now when I sign my name there are some strange initials which magically appear.

Larry Hagman played JR.  This is all I know about Dallas
 Not to be confused with the letters TL:DR which follows some of my articles on Bell. Good thing this is the HoP - nothing like that happens here!

So, moving, on, let’s check out our first offering - maybe my partner in crime will wander in just in time to comment on it!

Lauby:  I'm here.  I was just looking for my cryin' whiskey (which I am apparently out of) We missed the Top X last week.  Our streak stopped at 32.

But I wont let that stop us.  No sir!  Now that I'm forced into be sober, we're gonna power through this like a couple of bosses!!  Though i will be recycling the scraps from last week.  Brent's text is green for a reason (it's cheaper than black... uh... I mean recycling).


Thursday, April 28, 2011

Gaming on a Budget - Spending Money to Save Money: The Air Brush

Dethron's been dealing with the kind finals load that can only come from a master's level degree.  While he deals with his paper based on what he would only describe as "shaky math", I'm here to save the day and keep the dream that is Gaming on a Budget alive.

[Note:]  I almost started this article with something along the lines of "today I'm talking about airbrushes".  Really, Laubs?  It's not like its in the post title or anything, asshole...

So here we are again, kicking false economies in the balls while getting things right the first time around!

I actually had some relevant pictures I took myself.  But things happen.  Enjoy this screen cap from Idiocracy
An airbrush has always been an integral tool to the scale modeling crowd that only just now seems to be osmosing to the table top wargaming crowd.  I think this has something to do with the hobby kind of 'growing up' in general.  Anyway, with this trend towards expensive tools comes a large number of people with a ton of questions and a ton of misconceptions.  An airbrush can speed up painting and opens up a wide range of techniques for the hobbyisit.  Though for all the power and versatility an airbursh can offer, its still in the "wildly misunderstood" category of hobby tools.  Luckily for us as hobbyists, there are scads of information out there on selection, proper use and even techniques.   Sadly, a key component is often missing from much of the discussion: cost. Often, even if cost is mentioned it's only in passing.

Let's get this started right:   

An airbrush setup is the single most expensive purchase you can expect to make in your painting and modeling career.


Wednesday, April 27, 2011

User Content Wednesday - The Battle for the Bridge: Part 2

Having kids is a big, life changing deal... so I'm told.  I don't have kids myself.  Most of you out there don't either.  If anyone asked, we'd probably deny wanting to reproduce - being content as we are simply practicing with the mechanics of the procreation.  But the Man Cave would like yo remind you to dream the impossible!  As much work as parenthood is (probably - again, I'm not an expert), there's always the chance at the whole totally boss and cool situation that the Man Cave is rocking.  Gentelemen and Unicorns, I present to you:  the reason to have kids.

The Lad calls his viking warriors to battle with his War Horn!
As the game commenced, Lord Uhtred's Saxon warband had taken up a blocking position on the bridge, and the vikings were in the centre of the table with their giant wooden rabbit. (If you missed the scenario setup and table layout, look here)  Click pics for bigger versions.

Saxons on the Bridge: Lord Uhtred carries the Dragon Banner!


Tuesday, April 26, 2011

What does our choice of army say about us?

Loquacious's series of articles on starting in the hobby started to make me think about some of my own early choices about what army I used...

Some of my own choices may have had something to do with the time I started in the hobby. The current Chaos Space Marine Codex had just been released and that was what the Games Workshop stores were pushing. Obviously they were also pushing the newer kits that went along with it as well.

As time passed by I jumped from one Marine codex and back again with what was basically the same army. It just happened to be getting bigger and bigger....However in my head the army theme always stayed the same. Marines who did whatever they damn well pleased ;-)

I have since then done Daemon, Tyranid and even Infantry Guard armies but I always come back to those dirty renegade bastards...


Monday, April 25, 2011

New Member Monday - Zwei Vier Zwei

We hit 242 members last week!  Another important industrial strength milestone for the Haus of Paincakes!  Here's a video in honor of the occasion!  Jawohl!


Friday, April 22, 2011

Legendary Generic HQ's!

Back in February, an interested reader sent us an idea for post he wanted us to create.  I collected stories from almost all the HoP authors and then promptly forgot about until GMort reminded me about a few weeks ago.  I then forgot about it again.  So when Friday rolled around with a Weekly Top X much further from completion than I wanted, I finally remembered about the HQ info I had collected.

This one goes out to Skarvald the Troll-faced and all the nameless leaders who have suffered horrible and ignoble deaths never to be remembered.

Loquacious: I have Brother Darius, The Emperor's Chosen. He came to me at great peril to his person, crossing the wind tossed and tumultuous seas of the Warp in but the barest of protections. Never fear, Darius, slayer of Warbosses, Farseers and Chaos Lords, braved the trip to join my Brethren solely at the mention of my Crusades' lack of a Command. He brought his sword forth to do battle against the Xenos, Heretics and Witches nearest the Outpost. He has roused the troops' muster, causing them to bear the sincerest form of flattery (trading guns for swords) and has savagely taken on the venerable foes in this region.

[A kind reader sent me that gorgeous guy with a really big sword when he heard I didn't have one yet. He mailed it without any prompting or repayment whatsoever- just wanted to know that Darius was going to a good home. THAT, my friends, is a great community!]


Thursday, April 21, 2011

Gaming on a Budget: See Deez Craterz

Alright, so here's last week's project, finally dried and ready for photos.  But first, a story (and yes, this actually did happen at band camp).  While practicing for marching band one summer, I exclaimed to one of the other quad players:  'hey I just got this awesome new CD.'  'Oh yeah,' he replies.  'Yeah, CDs nuts!'  Needless to say it was amazingly hilarious and after the 7th or 8th time I told him about my new CD and he still kept falling for it, it didn't get any less hilarious.

Ah, like all great comedic stories, I suppose this one just ends in 'well I guess you had to be there.'  Ah comedy gold, I tell ya.

Shit anyway, here's that tutorial I promised.  If you haven't figured it out yet, we're going to be re-purposing some CDs.  You remember what those were right?  How we used to get our music and multimedia content?  The things that came after records and tape?  Bah, you young whipper snappers.

Anyhow, if you , like me, happen to have scads of CD-Rs laying around, I've got some great uses for them.  Obviously, anything discussed here could just as easily apply to DVDs or on a larger scale laser discs (it's like a record but there's a movie on there).

Kompressor does not build terrrain


Wednesday, April 20, 2011

User Content Wednesday - For the Love of the Game

Today's article I found by way of Good Buddy Brent.  He was being a Good Buddy (what he does best) in the comments section of his latest underappreciated article over on BoLS and was gave mad props (deservedly) to the guys over at Capture and Control.  When it came time to rustle up this week's User Content, I headed straight over there.  I was immediately struck by two three things:
  1. There is a ton of good stuff over there
  2. It's one of the few multi-author blogs that manages to pull it off
  3. There is a ton of hate in the comments section - much of it by anonymous jack-asses.
Seriously, what the fuck is up with #3?  Where does the hate come from?  Why is the FAAC crowd drawn to a blog with an obvious tournament bent and why do they keep coming back?  Also:  screw those guys.  Capture and Control is a good blog.

Anyway, while I was digging around and marveling at the stupidity of some of the comments, I found this gem on  that fits right into the whole "competitive hobbyist" thing we think is about the best idea since garter belts. 

I am aware that this article being written by me is a bit ironic. I am known as a super competitive player who prefers tournaments and play off situations to just playing for fun.  This is a bit of a misconception since I love playing in story driven campaigns/leagues and Apocalypse games, but I know where you are coming from with your perceptions of me.  I spam, a lot, and I play in a lot of tournaments and often finish high on the list of competitors.  Also, a quick list of my armies will show you I lean towards playing what is "good."  Space Wolves, Imperial Guard, Blood Angels, Salamanders, Chaos Space Marines (double lash, but of course), I also play Khador (Vlad ftw!) and I used to own a meta-busting Ork army that is now in the hands of Disdainful.  So why am I writing an article about playing "for the love of the game"?  Simple, I do love the game, and often times I will play sub par lists or super fluff driven lists in order to just have a good time.  I don't write much about it, in fact most of the blogosphere doesn't; so I wanted to take some time and talk about how playing just for the love of the game can be awesome.


Tuesday, April 19, 2011

What's Wrong With 5th Edition Anyway?

There's been some talk on various of the forums and blogs about the potential arrival of the 6th Edition of 40K.

The general consensus seems to be that the time-scale between rules edition updates is fairly consistent so were due a change.

The thing we actually need a change?

Personally, I like 5th a lot better than I like 4th. Of course that may have something to do with an incident involving a Vindicator, an 11" scatter, a Rhino's rear armour and an improbable number of sixes that resulted in the destruction of a Chaos Space Marine Rhino and the 250 point squad that was in it.....


Monday, April 18, 2011

New Member Monday - Hey! It's Monday!!

Hallo and welcome to you who has come to visit the House of Paincakes!  We have very many exciting blogs to be with you sharing!  They are of very much quality and are full of excellence to be enjoyed.  Thank you to you who are our readers.  As we say often, the infinite is unknown at House of Paincakes

Please to be enjoying the following excellent items:

Keywords: Warhammer fantasy, skaven, painting, rants etc. boxes, etc.

The Dark end of the street
Keywords: Dust tactics, warmachine, 40k, fan fiction (but not the gross kind)

The Golden D6
Keywords: warhammer,40000,malifaux,painting,miniatures,modelling,photos,space
marine,dark eldar,bloodbowl,mordheim,necromunda

Chapel of Angels
Keywords: Warhammer 40K, Dark Angels, Modeling, Counts-As, advanced rating systems

That Guy James
Keywords: Warhammer Fantasy, 40k, Hobby stuff, news, views, reviews, pews

And you Monday moment in literary greatness - the winning essay from That Guy James:

As god's gift to the internet, I don't feel it necessary to explain myself under any circumstances. However, I am feeling generous today, and will grace you with my attention for a millisecond longer. You see, my powers extend so far into the net of inters that they have actually come out the other side. That's right mortal, I have so plumbed the depths of the internet that I have emerged on the other side, covered in ectoplasm and erupting in steam. I have no idea why this was so, but it definitely made for a much more dramatic moment; that and the lighting. You just can't overestimate good lighting when you're shooting a scene.

What? Oh yes. As I was saying, my interweb super power is that I really don't use the internet all that much in a given day. I keep myself to a strict '22 hours or less' policy in any 24 hour period you may choose to observe. In this way, I am able to keep myself 'unplugged', which allows me sufficient time to dedicate to keeping the omnipresent 'it' anchored in the realm of reality. You are welcome for this service. I ask no form of compensation, save for admission to your cakes of pain, which I understand go very well with blueberry maple syrup.


Sunday, April 17, 2011

[New Kid In Town] The First Games

As a newer player to 40K, I spent a lot of time researching. I asked a lot of questions. I looked for answers all over the web and couldn’t find what I needed, so I STARTED a 40K for Beginners compendium. (That is still a work in progress.) I watched a lot of games and thought I understood the basics.

Then I went to play an actual game. I wrote at length about the game and the results here . This report was pretty accurate in describing the action and the results of the game. What it didn’t cover was the mental aspect of the game.

I was completely and utterly nervous. I was really concerned about playing fairly and asked before I did EVERYTHING if it was appropriate and/or allowed. I felt like an idiot a lot, too. When my opponent asked me questions about Black Templar, my answer was invariably, “I don’t know”. For example- BS. I didn’t know. Does the EC have Eternal Warrior? I didn’t know. What was the armor save on specific models? I didn’t know. I had to look things up over and over and honestly spent more time flipping through pages than actually playing.