Funny Things


Friday, August 19, 2011

HoP Idol Audition Submissions: My First Tourney, The Lantz McDonald Story

Last, but certainly not least, we've got a blast from the HoP past making his writing debut on this blog with our final HoP Idol audition from Twin Linked Awesome's Lantz.  If you've been with us since the very way back when this site began, you may remember Lantz's frequent photo appearances here to help us pump up our post count.  I'm not sure if we ever really got to thank him for sending in those pics every week, so we're going to say thank you now as we allow him to audition to maybe write on this blog permanently. 

HoP Idol Audition Submissions: Armageddon IM

Ever wonder what an IM chat between Commander Dante and Ghazgul Thrakka might look like?  Well, neither have I, but after reading this HoP Idol audition micro blog article from A Murder of Ravens' Citizen Williams, I'm kind of curious about some other fictitious conversations that might be happening in my head right now.



Armageddon IM

The Weekly Top X - A Little Something for Everyone

Weekly Top X.  Today.  You know the drill.  With me as always is proof that more than two things (you know the ones) come from Texas, Brent!

Let's get right down to bid'ness.

1) Company of the Damned - First game of Storm of Magic!
Brent: You know the first thing that struck me when I looked over this blog was the page layout, the template. It was a refreshing change from seeing the ‘standard’ blogger templates over and over - it made it pop.
Lauby: Too true, Brent.  Far too many people underestimate the worth of the readability of a white background.  speaking of reading...
Brent: I enjoyed the content! I’ve been interested in Storm of Magic, and this was a great review.
Lauby:  Would you say his content was refreshing as well?  I know I would.
Brent: Well, he did start cursing at me in there...

How about a storm of this kind of magic?
 2) Rant in E Minor - Incubyebye’s Say Hello.
Lauby:  Just thought we'd hit y'all with some on topic eye candy.
Brent: Oh. My. God.
Lauby:  It's been a long time coming, but I am officially admitting that I am jealous of Sorrowshard's DE.
Brent: Wow. Simply... wow.

Thursday, August 18, 2011

HoP Idol Audition Submissions: What Sort of Gamer are You?

Not had enough quasi-academic analysis of gaming for the day yet?  Well great, because Frontline Gamer of a blog of the same name is unleashing his own fury with his very own punnet square style matrix of gamer types.  Business students around the world rejoice!




What sort of Gamer are you?

I've often thought of myself in a certain 'type' of gamer. We all think of ourselves in a certain way... probably far nicer than what our opponents think of us!!! This is going to be a personal blog about you; I'm not going to be chatting about what sort of gamer I am. I'm giving you a matrix and I want you to be honest about it... and then hand them out to your opponents and see what they think!!! That's right, get them to rank you - you might be surprised to see what people think of you as a hobbyist.


HoP Idol Audition Submissions: The Stupid Virus: False Binaries

Today We begin our journey through the "HoP Idol" auditions with Von's article on "False Binaries."  Don't worry, I'm not sure what the overly academic title is setting us up for either, but I can only hope that it will be an in-depth explorations of the deepest recesses of the human mind....  Anyway, for those of you who mightn't know, Von currently maintains the ever popular Game Over blog.

"The Stupid Virus: False Binaries"





If there's one thing we gamers love, it's gaming. Obviously. If there's one thing we love nearly as much as gaming, though, it's drawing lines in the sand and having huge pissing contests about the philosophy and attitudes of gaming. WAAC vs. FAAC. Casual vs. Competitive. Painted vs. Unpainted. PP vs. GW. RAW vs. RAI. This is just one symptom of a disease affecting all human beings, but gamers more than most. I call it the Stupid Virus.

As my first overt attack against the Stupid Virus, I want to introduce you to something: the fallacy of the excluded middle. The fallacy of the excluded middle arises from false dichotomies: misperceptions of events, situations, facts or other data that classify them as mutually exclusive. “If not X, then Y.” This is pretty damn foolish in its own right, but it escalates to the true heights of stupidity when it either ignores the existence of things not present in the dichotomy or simply assimilates them into one side or the other.

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

HoP Idol Audition Submissions: Maintaining your interes... ooo look a horse!

Next up from the land of "HoP Idol" audition micro blog articles, we've got Rob of Ave Dominus Nox's thoughts on sticking with your army despite the shiniest and newest new shinnies

Maintaining your interes... ooo look a horse!


HoP Idol Audition Submissions: In the End it's Just a Game of Toy Soldiers

Today's first "HoP Idol" audition comes to us from Inquisitor Dunn of  2 Cents on 40K (not to be confused with the site "2 Cens on 40K that I totally made up on purpose in yesterday's HoP Idol Finalists announcement).  It seems he's got a burning question that he needs to ask you and a picture of dinosaurs that made me laugh until I fell off my chair.

In the end, it's just a game of toy soldiers.

 

Women in 40k: SinSynn's Love Advice for Xenos

EDITOR'S NOTE- House of Paincakes is not responsible for the antics of this knucklehead, and a blanket apology is being issued for all of his nonsense.

In his somewhat...incoherent transmissions to us, he claims to be having 'crazy issues with Terran females' lately, and from what we understand, he saw a post somewhere recently that finally sent him off the deep end.

He refuses to specifically name or link the post, 'to prevent further infection,' he claims.

He complained about some other stuff, too, like his 'Monitoring Anklet,' but we couldn't be bothered to listen...he does go on, and generally it's gibberish anyway....

We are hoping he has a speedy return to...well, not sanity per say (this IS SinSynn we're talking about)...but whatever.
Cuz he's gonna be writing Top-X with Loquacious next week, and she's threatened violence if he misses it.


Hey folks, SinSynn here.

Today we're gonna be discussing not one, but TWO of my favorite subjects: 40k and women.

Yeah, notice the order I put them in. That's right. I did that. You saw it.

Don't get it twisted, SinSynn loves the ladies.
One, sometimes three at a time.... Sometimes they're even awake....

*It's all in good fun. Now just relax*



Tuesday, August 16, 2011

HoP Idol Audition Submissions: Mad as a Hatter

Moving right along with the "HoP Idol" audition micro blog articles, we've got this gem from The Chaos Manifesto's Hot Panda. 

Sunday Best #2: Mad as a Hatter


The "Mad Hatter" is a colloquial phrase that is used to refer to a crazy person.  During the 18th and 19th century England mercury was used by Hatters to treat the furs and pelts used for their hats.  Exposed to the harmful effects of mercury their bodies slowly absorbed the toxic metal.  Over time they would begin to suffer from mercury poison which caused neurological damage that included confused speech and blurred vision.  As such Hatters often appeared disorientated, daze or mentally  insane.  Each of the blogs authors that I am show casing in this weeks Sunday' Best may not exhibit the effects mercury poisoning but they each display the traits of a diabolical mad man through their conversions.

HoP Idol Audition Submissions: White Dwarf Time Tunnel

Here goes nothing!  This is the first of our audition articles (in no particular order, of course) that were submitted for the "HoP Idol" contest that we're running.  It comes from "The Other Guy," who is currently a freelance writer, with no blog affiliations.  Enjoy!

'Net-Lists' as an 'Auto-Win' button...

I recently did an article on my own blog relating to the fact that I was intending to go back to the 'Vanilla' Marine Codex as I was getting bored of my Space Wolves list.

In the comments section it was pointed out that my Marine list was basically Steleks original 'Best of' list. This was no surprise to me as I'd only mentioned that I was a fan of that list in particular about a hundred fucking times, lol.

However, It made me think about the generally negative attitudes to 'net-lists' that I find both on forums and at tournaments*.

* I don't think that was the commenter's intent it just happened to be the thought train that the comment set off.

Many people take great pride in the fact that their own list or lists consists solely of stuff they like without any consideration been taken for it's tournament competitiveness. They are also usually the same people who will tell you the tale of the horde Ork army player that never loses a game or that guy with an army full of Vespids who does awesomely against the three ten year olds he plays at his FLGS.....


So I pick a net-list, automatically win every game and suddenly find my name in the number one spot at rankings HQ then?

Monday, August 15, 2011

HoP Idol Finalists!!!! Now with extra exclamation points!!!!!!

Well, the day is finally here- and now we can all breath easier.  The HoP Idol contest finalists are about to be revealed.



Before getting to the announcement we've all been waiting for, I'll remind you of what's at stake here.  Every week we'll be putting up a new, original article from all remaining finalists.  At the end of the week, a poll will be put up where you can vote for who your favorite amongst the competition is.  Once the poll expires, the lowest man/woman/hermaphrodite will be ingloriously kicked out of the competition, until there is just a single writer left who will be crowned HoP Idol, earning a weekly column here at the HoP.

 

Mighty Thor Presents: Command Center

In addition to doing about 92.924% of the work on Creative Twilight, Thor is also a programmer with a heart of gold.  Which is functionally way better than a prostitute with a heart of gold, but less interesting in terms of writing a story about the wild west.  Anywho, Thor's gone ahead and created an army building tool he calls Command Center and cordially invites you to check it out.  There are a ton of cool features in it - chief among them being how this tool is a free service.  Followed very closely by "being boss and cool."  I'll let Thor take it from here:

Are you tired of using a 40K list builder that relies on getting updates for it so you can create an accurate list? Do you hate having to pay an annual license fee? Does it piss you off to have created a list to only forget it at your house and have no way of getting it? Well, you're going to love Command Center! It slices, it dices it juliennes! Alright, maybe it doesn't do that but it does address the questions posed.




This is Thor from Creative Twilight. I created Command Center over two years ago because of the stuff mentioned above. I also created it because as a player I found the best way to really learn and understand your army is through the repetition of list creation. Command Center is not what you're used to and it's not for everyone. If you like to use a program that tells you how to build your lists, offers you (hopefully), the correct options with the correct values then you're not going to like Command Center. If you're the type of gamer who writes lists by hand, uses a spreadsheet or just wants clean looking lists they can access from anywhere then feel free to read on.

Tired of the sale pitch sounding shit? Me to. Moving on.

New Member Monday - Bitter Tears, Freshness and Drawings

Hello, hello, hello!  Lauby here with another New Member Monday for you.  Well... there's actually a bit of OLD member Monday but that'll be explained later...

... OK... NOW.  I think that's later enough.

Kennedy who many of you know and love from 40k for the New Professional had all of his hard work reduced to this:


He has no idea why and the fine people at Google seem to be pretty clueless as well.  In any case he had to start over.  Which I don't need to tell you, sucks total balls. 

Since this is the kind of thing that would kill a lesser man's interest in blogging, I thought I do Kennedy a solid and re-pimp his blog at its new URL and urge you all to head on over there and give him a hearty slap on the back.

Also, in case you missed it, we changed the function of our blog rolls a bit.  So look to your right and tell us what you think.

Sunday, August 14, 2011

[Musings of a Game Store Owner] Strange Relationship

"What's This Strange Relationship?"


Yeah, that’s right- I broke him out. No one else had what I wanted and needed for this one…

A few months ago, a particular memo got sent to a particular company. That memo got released, and the blogging world went nuts. There was a lot of speculation, a lot of accusations, and a lot of anger.  It was like a bomb went off.


The problem with the particular memo was that it was aimed at one specific company. The one specific memo wasn’t relevant to any other company or distribution channel, but there was a blatant assumption that all the comments in the memo applied to everyone, worldwide.