Funny Things


Friday, August 26, 2011

Weekly Top-X : Lo' and SinSynn Create an Editing Nightmare for Lauby

Hey folks, SinSynn here.

This week, I'll be presenting the Weekly Top-X with House of Paincakes own First Lady of Gaming, Loquacious.....so I hafta behave myself (cuz she'll cut me).

Her comments are in a Purple-ish color, as Terran Females are preferential to such things....

[Disclaimer:] There is some small chance that Lo' might recommend stuff that is not
Xenos related...despite the fact that I threatened her with my ACME Disintegrator Ray Gun.


*Available at Walmart for $17.99...Does not scare Terran Females*
Lo': No, it really doesn't. I'm not afraid of Martians. Or their puny weapons.

1) 40K Hobby Blog - Earthquake + Metal Models 
Lo: It's gotta be the Xenos that made that earthquake...no other explanation for ruining perfectly good Imperial models.
SinSynn: Oh, sure...blame the Xenos for typical Imperial failings. For the record, the fact that I was shifting Tectonic Plates while expanding my secret lair at the Earth's core around the time the quake hit is PURE COINCIDENCE. Besides, since the Blog's author mentions a Thunderhawk 'catching air.' Clearly an Imperial....my plan was a success! Oh, wait...did I type that out loud? Uh....nothing to see here...move along...
Lo: What? I did promise, didn't I? Ok, let me try that again. (But I don't like it...)
SinSynn: You mock me with your Imperial favoritism, Terran Female! I would threaten you with my Disintegrator, but your laughter has shamed me once already.
Lo: The Xenos plan to overthrow the East Coast is in full effect. Check the Terran reports for more details on the success of their plot.
SinSynn: Ha! We already control your Media, foolish Human! It's already too late....

HoP Idol: Week 1 Recap

Thanks to all of the participants and readers for making this the most successful Hop Idol yet!  Yeah, never mind that it's the first.  It's still kicking ass.

If you're reading this, voting is already open.  There is one important instruction for this and I will make it huge and bold so that everybody will see it:

YOU HAVE 6 VOTES TO USE!


Thursday, August 25, 2011

HoP Idol: The Kool-Aid Man vs Games Workshop

There must be something special going on here for HOT Panda's article about models to have made me thirsty.  So true story, the various cafeterias at the University of Illinois (where I did my undergrad) used to have theme nights.  One of them did a soul food night at which huge amounts of Kool-aid were served.  While it was delicious, I still haven't been able to decide today whether it was condescending and kind of racist or condescending and really racist....  Oh shit, I'm rambling.  Keep reading, it's worth it, I promise.

Gaming on a Budget: Cleaning with, but not Sniffing, Glue

Greetings HoP followers.  I'm back again.  Sorry for missing last week, but the HoP Idol duties I had as well as wrapping up a bow on my MBA* last week took me out of commission. 

Today, I've got a bizarre tip for cleaning non-porous surfaces that I've developed over the years in this hobby.  Frequent readers of this column will already know of my love for buying Elmer's white glue in bulk.  In addition to saving me money on glue, this also gives me enough of a surplus to get weird with it and find other uses for it such as this hot cleaning tip.

apparently the cow's name is Elmer.  His female counterpart is Elsie.  The more you know....



Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Hop Idol: Price Hikes

Next up today, we've got an article from America's (yeah, he lives in the UK, but so what?) favorite freelance writer who is currently looking for a blog to write for, "the other guy." I'm not going to lie to you, I'm very excited that he'll be arguing in favor of price rises as well- one of my favorite topics.


Hi House of Paincakes!

I’m “The Other Guy” and I’m hoping to be YOUR HoP Idol . My real name is Rob and I’m based in a small town in England. If I make it through to next week, I promise to tell the story of how I ended up as “The Other Guy”. 

However, today I’m going to talk about a man called Dan, a boy with a bad haircut, Games Workshop price rises and what you should do with your bitz.



HoP Idol: 6th Edition


Who's in the mood for some Lantz?  Join him as he ponders the potential horror (or not horror) of 6th edition 40k. 

 6th Edition: Horrifying Horizon, Brighter Tomorrow or Something to Just Quit Whining About?

Hello and welcome to what Lantz has to offer this frightening place. Seriously, Lauby’s giving me long, uncomfortable stares and purring noises; it’s a little much. Today I’m going to write about something that’s on everyone’s mind in some fashion, the inevitable change to our little game of dolls. I’m talking about 6th Edition and the rumors that have been piling up as of late. For those who haven’t read anything about it, it’s time to discover Google and stop living under a rock. For those who’ve kept up to date on the matter, you’re right at home.

Xenos Players Drink Themselves To Sleep

Hey folks, SinSynn here.

I suppose I should just admit right up front that I'm not like the world's greatest 40k player.

It was the Tyranids that convinced me of this....but that comes later...

Let's back it up a bit...

Gather 'round, kiddies...It's SinSynn Story Hour!


*So sit down and shut up*

There was a time, when I was a young buck that only played Tau, that I fancied myself a badass.

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

HoP Idol: GW Please Keep it Believeable

Are you ready for some Rob?  Well good, because next up is Rob's article on realism in gaming.

GW – please keep it believable!


Games Workshop make the best toy soldiers in the world. Its true, it even says so on their website. They have also spent a great deal of time creating the history of these toy soldiers so that we can play out continuations of the story each time we roll a die. Its fantastic! Its what makes the games for many of us. We’re not rolling dice to see what the tiny ‘hero’ (read: mutant) scale model representation of a futuristic human does, we’re finding out if Sergeant ‘Oddball’ Sutherland of the Cadian 321st can make this last stand against a heinous foe. The story is what makes the game so popular and conversely the game makes the stories more popular.

“Matt Ward has never been seen in the same room as David Brent”

HoP Idol: Pro Tour 40k?

Apparently I am a dumbass... totally forgot to e-mail Inquisitor_Dunn to give him this week's assignment, but he got it turned in regardless.  Now that's awesome.  Read on.

Pro Tour 40k?



I have been sitting on an idea for a couple years now. I'm going to put my idea on "paper" now since I think we are nearing a time someone else will implement it. It is also looking like I will not be  implementing it baring a nice run at the powerball lottery.

Fuck, Fuck, Fuckity, Fuck, Fuck...

With HoP idol now in full swing it's obvious that many people desire the fame and fortune that comes from being an internet celebrity...


So if your idea of success is to gain new followers at the speedy rate of nearly one a month and already have quite literally some followers then my guide is here to help...


Step 1)
Have a Blog.
Many people miss out this elementary step in their quest for stardom. Why risk having your genius comments moderated by those fascists who run forums when you can instead be the fascist who moderates comments? With quick yet careful editing you can easily give the impression that everybody agrees with you which by default means that everything you say must be completely correct. Once you have convinced everybody of this version of reality soon your own group of toadying sycophants will be ready to leap to your defence at a moments notice.....

Monday, August 22, 2011

HoP Idol: Lead Us Not Into Nerdrage,...

And here comes #2 from the day.  This gem comes from Von and even manages to take a quick jab at me in his intro- flattery will get you everywhere my man.

Lead Us Not Into Nerdrage, But Deliver Us From Opinion Pieces

So there I was at the old personal computermabob, enjoying a nice healthy salad and a nice unhealthy pint of the tar with frothy bits that British folk call 'beer', and up pops a message from Dethtron saying he wants a 1000 word opinion piece about a current issue of contention.

HoP Idol: Golden Age of Gaming

Hey folks, let's kick this pary off with the first opinion piece of the week from Frontline Gamer. 
 

Golden Age of Gaming



Let the HoP Idol Commence

Today begins the official competition for HoP Idol. 



We'll be posting 2 articles a day M-TH in the afternoon and evening (central time US) until all 8 of our finalists have had their first article posted.  Then on Thursday, we'll open up voting for the weekend, where you'll be able to choose who goes on to the next round and who will be crying themselves to sleep at night.  More details will be forthcoming on a "how to vote" type of article later in the week when voting actually goes live.

Assignments for this week's article challenge were passed out last week, and each of the finalists has been asked to pick ANY divisive, contentious subject in wargaming today and writing an opinion piece on it.  This should be a lot of fun, so stick with us for the first of these articles later today and throughout the week.

New Member Monday - Various and Sundry Blogs and We're 1 Years Old Now!

Welcome to the House of Paincakes' one year anniversary of existing as an actual thing!  I say actual thing because the HoP has existed in a number of other forms previously - drunken' suggestion, pipe dream and working model.  It's just good to be precise... I guess.

I'm not sure of we're going to celebrate or anything (we're humble like that), but feel free to drink one or more beers on Tuesday to celebrate the first post on the first day the HoP was open for bid'ness.

Which brings us to the real champions of the HoP - you guys!  All the bloggers and interested parties who've made all of this possible.  Thanks!

this is from pbf.  Yoyu should go there.

Sunday, August 21, 2011

[Musings of a Game Store Owner] Marketing Mission

If you spend any time checking out advertising or marketing strategies, there are a lot of short term solutions out there. Most of them offer small bursts of improved visibility, without real sustainable options for keeping your name visible. As a business owner, it might not hurt to have a quick “pop” of recognition now and then, but what you really want is a long lasting presence so customers come back time and time again.



Building that lasting presence is an interesting proposition. In advertising, the preferred strategy is called “Top Of Mind Awareness” (TOMA). This strategy basically indicates that the only way to keep customers aware of you is to regularly expose them to your message. There are some pretty solid studies that indicate it takes a minimum of seven (7) “touches” or exposures before a customer becomes fully aware of your brand and will recognize it as a viable option. Those studies go into how many times a customer needs to see an ad or visit a business before a purchase is made, as well as how often a new customer will refer a friend to a business and what factors are involved in that referral cycle.