Important Stuff

Monday, October 24, 2011

New Member Monday - Newness Abound

Hello Chumbas and Wambas!  Another glorious day dawns over the House of Paincakes Empire!  There's no site news today, but have some extenuating circumstances!

  1. 1) We're still trying to get funds for the hot air balloon so we can verify whether or not the sun never sets on said empire
  2. It turns out that Scooby Doo: A XXX Porn Parody is as awesome as you dared hope.  


Sunday, October 23, 2011

[Musings of a Game Store Owner] Growing Pains

Have you seen  this post?   If not, check it out. It was inspired by Dethtron's challenge, but was completely and totally for fun.

In taking the pictures and putting together the post, I was reminded that there's an issue behind the scenes going on- something TheDude and I really, really need to address.

Our business is growing. In addition to more merchandise, more events and more stuff, we have more customers.


Friday, October 21, 2011

The Weekly Top X - Not Brent's Not X

Not Brent: So, I have to write an opening? 


 Not Brent: Anyone else really, really attracted to Lindsey Lohan lately?

Lauby:  Uuughgh.  I knew this was gonna be a mistake...

1) AJ's Gaming World - Hydra Gun shield Templates and tutorial part 1
 Lauby: Hey man, Flames of War is a 15mm game!  Wait, those are for 40k?  Fuckin' A.
 Not Brent: What’s that you’re drinking?

2) Rant in E Minor - Throne In E minor Report & Review
Not Brent: Ha! I loved this one!
Lauby: I think the most interesting thing about this whole Throne of Skulls bid'ness is that for all the complaining the 'super competative' crowd has done about the event, everyone who's gone has seemed to have an absolute bucket of fun.  From this report, you can really get the sense that Sorrowshard had a good as hell time.
Not Brent:  You’re missing the point - are you drunk on Bartles and James again? What have I told you about that? It’s just not cool... and you have to be cool and stay cool to play Robin to my Batman.
Lauby:  It's not B&J, it's sweet, delicious rum... and it's not 'again', it's "still'.  And why am I the sidekick and how the hell are you the goddamn Batman?  I always thought you were more on the supply side of blog crime.
Not Brent: Well, the Joker’s sidekick is a phone. No, man! Did you scope the last picture? There’s a dude who will help with my ultimate goal of Digital Domination!


Thursday, October 20, 2011

HoP Idol Round 4 Voting Live

That's right folks, it's time to pick the final 3 contestants who will be going on to the pyrotechnic-laced, star-studded finale spectacular round 5.  Oh what's that, we don't have a budget and this contest only exists in cyber space and none of that stuff is true except that round 5 will be the finale.  Well shiiiiit!

Even the poster for this film sucks

After another great week of articles, the choice for who our last contestants will be is up to you guys.  Make your decisions wisely and don't forget to vote for 3 contestants. 

Here are this week's entries, just to get them fresh in your mind again:

Von's Best of Boxtree Books

HotPanda's Termicide

Lantz's Fall of Damnos

The Other Guy's Two Strikes and Out


HoP Idol Round 4: Best of Boxtree Books

Last up for this round, we've got Von's article.

The Best of Boxtree Books

Back in the late 1980s, when times were hard and rules were harder, when Jervis Johnson had yet to invent the Grand Tournament and the Black Library was just a one-liner in the Eldar background, when bad puns and playful political jibes were the order of the day... back in them days, Games Workshop produced a line of Warhammer and Warhammer 40,000 tie-in novels.


Wednesday, October 19, 2011

HoP Idol Round 4: Termicide

Next up we have HotPanda's entry.

Termicide - The act of causing ones own death. Termicide is indirect, when one does not desire it as an end or a means.  When one nevertheless commits an act which courts death in the attempt to hand out death to ones foes, knowing that you yourself may well succumb to the same illness.


SinSynn's List Design for the Luckless

Hey folks, SinSynn here.

I suppose I'm just one of many gamers out there that has absolutely no luck, but sometimes it feels as though I've been singled out by the Dice Gods for some unknown transgression.

I have absolutely no idea what I did to earn their ire, but I definitely have.

It's so bad, I've given up trying to appease them, giving up begging and pleading and sacrificing...stuffs.
DON'T YOU JUDGE ME! wuz just that one time...

*And it didn't work anyway*

So you know what?
I don't even care anymore.
Screw the Dice Gods.


Tuesday, October 18, 2011

What's 'Soft' Scoring Got To Do With Competition Anyway?

I acted as team photographer for a group of my friends at the Throne of Skulls tournament in Nottingham this weekend.

I mentioned it here and did an overview here.

There you go.....

Oh wait I probably had some kind of rant to do as well didn't I?

The scoring system was shockingly bad to the point of making me want to kick people in the head and then set them on fire....okay that might be an overreaction.....just the kick should be enough I long as it's to the groin area.....

So what was wrong with it then?


HoP Idol Round 4: Fall of Damnos

Here is our next entry from Lantz.

Book Review: Fall of Damnos Novel

As we push forward into the HOP Idol competition we were given the option for this week to write a book review on something game related. Luck would have it, I just finished a novel by Nick Kyme all about my favorite 40k race; Necrons. And, ya know, maybe there was some Imperial Guard, Space Marines and Adeptus Mechanicus in there, I wasn't really paying attention to what they were doing. Fall of Damnos paints a mural of a war-torn world infested with intelligent atomitons that wish to extract your soul from whatever hole they can find/create. Or just kill you, they're not picky.


Monday, October 17, 2011

New Member Monday Update

Looks like we missed one....from 2 weeks ago.  It's probably all my fault, but I'm going to blame the postman for losing the application.

Curse you you bastard postman!

So extreme apologies (on behalf of the postman, of course) go out to The Shell Case.  It's an awesome blog and there's some fun Necron rumors up there right now, so make sure to go check it out.


Hop Idol Round 4: Two Strikes and Out!

First up in the round we have The Other Guy's entry.

Two strikes and out!

Hello, greetings and other British versions of “Hi”. I’m The Other Guy, and today we are talking tactics. I’ve been very much enjoying the new Ogre Kingdoms army book, and will be journeying with you into my views on this book. Because I am rubbish at choosing internet photos to go with articles, you will be getting some of my personal (Work in Progress) Ogres to distract you from the text.


HoP Idol Round 4 Begins

The next and 2nd to last round of HoP Idol will be kicking off in just a little bit.  To prep you dear readers as to the nature and to give full disclosure on the directions given to the contestants here is the e-mail that was sent to all of them:


Moving forward all directions must be followed exactly by all contestants.  Failure to due so will require article revisions until it conforms.  If these are not submitted by the deadline, the article will not run, except in the case of prior approval due to extenuating circumstances.   I don't want to have to be a hardass about it, but the peanut gallery that is the Internet appears to require this of me.

Now for your next challenge (Due Sunday 10/16) you will have two sets of instructions to choose from:

  1. Write a book report on a gaming related novel.  This must be a work of fiction related to a gaming system (WFB, 40k, battletech, shadowrun, D&D, etc).  The book need not be currently in print and there is no page requirement and no further thematic restriction.  Any game system may be used.
  2. Tactical Tips- write about one (or more) hot tactical moves that you think readers may benefit from.  Feel free to write about anything from deploying certain armies to exploiting rules holes for dirty tricks.  Again, any game system is  There is no word limit, but from a readers perspective, if you're over 7 or 8 pages in Word, it's probably too long. 
Then in response to a contestant question, I added the following (again provided to all contestants and within an hour of directions being issued):

addendum to #1- you may profile multiple works of a single author or series of books.

Posts start soon and voting will begin Thursday and run through next Tuesday.  I can't wait.


New Member Monday -

Ah yes, the season change.  You air conditioning bill goes down with an inverse relationship to how likely it is that you'll get sick.  Illness already having struck down Dethtron, may be coming for me.  I've got my OJ and a commitment to sleeping in, so watch out!  Nothing new or exciting to report his week.  Except for the usual new members. 

New Member Monday

White Noise UK
Keywords: Warhammer 40k, wargaming, rpging from the prospective of a 46 yearr and other entertaining stuff

Keywords: 40k, old tymey models, retro stuff, self improvement, paint and modeling

The Marienburg Gazette
Keywords: Warhammer fantasy, Mordheim, Blood Bowl, WIPs

The Shell Case
Keywords: Warhammer Fantasy, 40k, Wargaming, Reviews, News, Hobby

No winning essay this week.  But here's this funny thing:


Sunday, October 16, 2011

HoP Idol (Not) Quickfire Challenge: Von

All right boys and ghouls, next up in the part of the contest that no longer has any bearing on voting, reality, or quasi-reality, we have the one and only Von from Game Over telling you about his gaming origin story.  Sadly, no radioactive spiders were involved.

I've told my origin story so many times that it's stopped being interesting.

via the Fighting Fantasy wiki, where someone can't spell 'dragon'

These days I tell people I got a paper cut from a radioactive copy of 'Master of Chaos', that Rick Priestly crashed his spaceship in my back garden and bestowed his powers upon me, that it's an ancient curse laid on the first-born son of my household - anything but telling the same non-story over and over and over again as if it actually matters.


[Musings of a Game Store Owner] Telling the Truth

The Dude and I share something in common that's pretty important to who we are as people. We're both disgustingly honest.

Most of the time, this honesty is a good thing. It's helped us build a reputation as being trustworthy and unlike used car weasels. Our customers come to us with the confidence that when they deal with us, we're not out to snow them just to make a sale, but that we legitimately have an interest in a relationship with them in mind. We do have varying degrees of how blunt we'll be with our honesty-TheDude has no filter, and says things just as they are very frequently. I'm blessed with far more tact and usually soften what I say to keep customers coming back and friendships intact, but I never hide the truth. 


HoP Idol (Not) Quickfire Challenge: Hot Panda

Well folks, dethtron is back and it appears that not even a suspected case of shigellosis (webMD it if you don't know it) can bring him down.  Now that I'm not having sweet fever dreams any more I'm back to finish up the sadly abandoned Quickfire Challenge project with this excellent entry on how the Hottest of Hot Pandas broke his gaming cherry.

Warhammer 40k: Losing my Virginity
The world of Warhammer 40k is a dark grim place.  It can corrupt the innocent in a heart beat and leaving them with craving for plastic crack.  Once you cross this line there is little hope for salvation. Not even god can save you.  I know all of this myself cause I am an addict and my first time playing Warhammer 40k is etched in my brain forever.


Saturday, October 15, 2011

SinSynn Supplemental: FoW for the LOLZ!

Hey folks, SinSynn here.

Welcome to the second part of my irregular Supplemental Series, dealing with my headfirst dive into Flames of War.

As of last time, I had played a couple of test games, gotten a 'basic handle' of the rules, and gotten my hands on some models.

I took an immediate shine to the tactical nature of the game. I really liked the different scale, as 15mm models on a 6x4 foot table, combined with the in-game effects of long range shooting, concealment, etc, makes for...well, more 'thinking ahead' than I was used to with 40k.

I guess I'm one of those guys that's a sucker for cool, interesting terrain, as well...I just never knew it.
I mean, seriously- lookit THIS:

*this is like Flames of War porn for me*

Oh my goodness...Flames of War is bonkers with terrain!
You wanna lot of it? Do it!
You want next to nothing? Desert Scenario! Do it!
Pfft!......awesome, is excuses necessary here.


Friday, October 14, 2011

User Content Friday - A Long Diatribe and one Little Tip

Since the Top X was short, I thought I'd increase you;re Friday enjoyment with a brief return of User Content to Fridays.  This time 'round we've got a lovely (yes, lovely) post from a new member blog called Hive Zero.

So, I'm finally recovered from Adepticon. 
Well, that's a bit of a misleading statement. The day after Adepticon ended, I began a new job. As an old dude, I can tell you that even good changes are difficult. For the past ten years, I flew out on Mondays and flew home on Thursday nights. Ten years. There were pockets of time when I would be at home for months at a time as well. Both extremes are extremely difficult on the partner or spouse, and I need to acknowledge and marvel at my wife's infinite patience and ability to shoulder seemingly-insurmountable burdens while maintaining her own identity. And she tolerates, nay, encourages, my addiction to plastic and pewter.


The Weekly Top X - In the Spirit of the Quickfire Challenge

Hey cats and kittens, this week's top x is gonna be a short one.  The planets just weren't aligned this week and as a result, the mystical forces that this column relies on weren't howling at full force through the skull we use as a writing aid.  But never fear, we've found some excellent stuff to share!  We'll be back next week just as soon as I get the courage to talk to that base and vile character who calls himself Not Brent.

1) Frontline Gamer - Review: Dreadfleet
It's sad to see a HoP Idol contestant go because of not losing the vote.  Actually, that's sad too.  In any case, Frontline gamer gets a parting piece for all of you in the form of this excellent review.  Turns out that FG is a huge fan...  of tearing this game a new asshole. 

2) Da Long Wayz Dezert Groop - So what happens when the side projects are no longer on the side? 
There's a lot of Warhammer weltchmerz these days as the realities of competitive play become apparent in a game that cots $600+ to get into.  But fear not, there's this post!  I solid bit of introspection, some truth about the way Warmahordes plays and a reminder that GW still has crazy fun options for you.


Wednesday, October 12, 2011

HoP Idol (Not) Quickfire Challenge: Lantz

Next up in the non-competition that is the now defunct round of quickfire challenge entries we have Twin Linked Awesome's Lanzt here to spin a yarn about his first forrays into gaming.  Remember, this is not an article for which you'll be voting and no longer has any bearing on the HoP Idol competition.

I remember the good times, I remember them well. Things used to be good. I used to have money, uncut hands and glue encrusted fingertips were things in fairy tales. I remember the good times…
That all changed one drizzly Tuesday afternoon with one word; free. The gentlemen in my gaming group had all played tabletop games before, more specifically Warhammer 40,000. They knew what they were doing, and yet they continued anyway. They lured me in with the good stuff only for me to find that I needed more. And more I could have, but…it would cost me…


SinSynn's WAAC Tactics for the Fluffy Gamer

Hey folks, SinSynn here.

I have recently come to the conclusion that I'm basically a Fluffbunny.
I have absolutely no problem with this realization, but there it is.

*It's not so bad...I just really fear hawks now*

On the flipside, I have no problems whatsoever with 'competitive types.'
This is their hobby, too, so...whatevs, amirite?
I'll gladly exchange jokes and jabs with the likes of GMort (our own 'power-gamer extraordinaire' here at HoP, and author of GMort's Chaotica) , and I've had many interesting back 'n' forths with Stelek, over at YtTH, regarding the Tau.

These guys BLEED competitive, and I embrace them as brothers.
It is what it is...different strokes, different folks and whatnot.


Tuesday, October 11, 2011

HoP Idol (Not) Quickfire Challenge: The Other Guy

Today our free-lance blogger finalist, The Other Guy, is going to share the story about how he got turned on to the hobby that we love so much.  Hope you guys are enjoying getting to know these contestants a bit more.  I know I am.

My Hobby Journey

My uncle bought me my first models when I was around 10 years old. 2 of my uncles played Warhammer regularly together, and I loved going round their respective houses, looking at their Dwarfs / Skaven and admiring the love they put into their armies.


Making a Silk Purse From a Sows Ear...

There's an old saying about Silk Purses and Sows Ears which is basically telling us that some things are just so fundamentally sub standard that nothing can be done to improve them by any kind of noticeable margin.

Though that is the more polite version of the saying, I prefer 'You can't polish a Turd' as it almost has a swear word in it which is (as I'm sure your aware) how I judge the quality of any sentence. It's also probably a better description of what I'm going to be waffling on about.

The theory is often put forward that a non-optimised list can effectively become optimised in the hands of a general of sufficient talent or at least one who's used a certain list forever. Of course should both of those things be true of that person then we get all sorts of oddball pieces of shit doing well despite many competitive gamers claims that it shouldn't happen.....

The fact is that it does.....Though they're right in the fact that it probably shouldn't,

Lets look at why, shall we?


Monday, October 10, 2011

HoP Idol (Not) Quickfire Challenge: Inquisitor_Dunn

Taking the wayback machine all the way back to when I thought we could do quickfire challenges, here is Inquisitor_Dunn (now out of the competition) taking the wayback machine to talk to you about his first gaming experience.  Remember, this doesn't count for immunity, voting, or anything else anymore, it's just for funsies.

Take a Trip in the Wayback Machine!
by Inquisitor_Dunn

For this week's Quickfire, we are to tell a tale of how we got into gaming. To tell this tale, I first need to explain who I am. I am Inquisitor_Dunn on the interwebs and I have a little blog, 2 Cents on 40k. I started my blog to keep me painting my 40k armies by posting up stuff I'm working on. I had to do this because I needed to break my World of Warcraft addiction. This was not my first video game addiction.....( you are now entering the wayback machine )


Important HoP Idol Update

After the views expressed by you dear readers and some contestants, we've decided to call a do-over on this week's HoP Idol contest.  While we recognize that this may seem unfair to those who followed rules there is an added complication that has made this necessary.  Sadly, and due to personal reasons not related in any way to any HoP Idol drama real or imagined, Frontline Gamer has had to bow out of the competition this week.  We're sad to see this highly talented writer have to go but are more than sympathetic with his current needs.

This has pretty much made this week a wash, since we've lost a contestant regardless of the results.  As such, we're keeping the remaining 4 and will be starting a new challenge round soon, hoping to forget that this week ever happened (except the interview part, because they were all fucking great).


New Member Monday - Three and Three

See.  I TOLD you that HoP Idol was still going.  Swish.

That's enough self aggrandizement for the morning.  I've got words to spew out at you.

New Features
1) I've enabled the social media link sharing.  So you can post all of our genius to facetube or twitbook or whatever other joke name site you can think of.  Plus the the REAL ones.

2) I've enabled a little star based rating system.  So now you can award between 1and 5 stars to our awesome posts.

3) I've added a google page translator.  Because we're international.  And because I really think being able to read us on Afrikaans is what we need to unlock the South African demographic.


Sunday, October 9, 2011

[Musings of a Game Store Owner] Selling Pens

Lauby loves Loquacious' language and laments the lack of locution in the Lady's letters of late. Letting our league learn of his longing for the lively loosening of lessons in literacy, our leader leans on the legend to locate  landmarks of lexicons.

Let's linger longer in learned locations, letting our leader listen to our luminous Lady and her legions of lexemes.  The lamentations of the librarian are likely lessened as he loudly lords his license to lead over the litanies of our loveable losers, limiting the lack of literacy with licks of lengthy legends.

Congress of critics, concentrate as we commence conversations on commerce. Cease the crushing cascade of comments, and continue creating conclusions. 

Yeah, chew on that, folks!


Friday, October 7, 2011

HoP Idol Voting Now Live

As the title of this post may have already led you to believe, the current round of voting for this leg of the HoP Idol competition is now live.  We've had 5 fan-fucking-tastic interviews this week that did not disappoint.  I don't envy you all having to choose winners.  As someone who has proven himself to be pretty much inept on either side of an interview, I am simply awestruck to have discovered that all five of the HoP Idol finalists were little Barbara Walters's. 

Voting will be going on from now until this coming Wednesday.  Since we're looking to level up 4 of the 5 current finalists, you may vote FOUR times in total.  Good luck to all the contestants.

To refresh your memories, all of this week's articles can be found at the links below after the jump-


HoP Idol: Frontline Gamer Interviews Lauby

Last and not least we've got our very own co-creator of the HoP, Lauby getting his interview on with Frontline GamerPretty pictures will follow.

Well this week we've been given the task of interviewing one of the current International House of Paincakes writers. I got one of the big ones... Lauby, who co-founded the International House of Paincakes with Dethtron. Sadly though for him he'd drawn me has his interviewer and I'd personally like to say thanks to him for putting up with my erratic ways of late, as I've got a lot going on in my personal life right now and he was a pleasure to interview and very understanding. I've dropped 4 pictures of Lauby's lovely painting in here as well. So here it is...
Frontline Gamer: Hello. I'm going to be honest and say I have absolutely no idea where to start this interview. I'd ask for some hints and tips but I'm getting pressed for time now so I'm going to go with the obvious question. Why the hell did you decide to start the international House of Paincakes (hoP) with Dethtron in the first place? And as a follow up question, and are you utterly mad?

Lauby: Like so many 'Good' ideas throughout, history the whole idea started in a bar while Dethtron and I were working on a special kind of drunk - expensive beer drunk. At that point in our e-live we were both struggling to get readers for our own blogs and we just couldn't get things going to the extent we wanted. Commenting on other people's blogs and exchanging links only gets you so far, and is tedious, tedious work. Obviously the solution to that was to 'join a blogging network'. But the ones that existed at the time didn't have a lot to offer us or had a bunch of bullshit requirements we didn't much care for.


The Weekly Top X - M. Night Shyamalan's "Brent"

Pssst! Pssst - hey, you.

Yea, you.

Yes, you! Right there! You! You’re you and I see you, you, YOU, YOU!

Can we get past this please? I’m on this side of the screen and you’re on the other. I really need some help... and I don’t think I have much more time.

Allow me to explain it. You see, I think I’m being erased from the House of Paincakes history. Being scrubbed right off the digital timeline.

I noticed Dethtron posted this the other day...

Wow. Powerful stuff. DT is giving Loquacious credit for being the first author outside of him and Lauby, and while I don’t want to take anything away from Lady Loq... and Lauby were around writing the Top X from the beginning! Yes, this very weekly column you now beyond with your eyes, red with tears and wide with shock though they may be now!

Being the sensible Empty Digital Headache, I assumed at first it was a simple mistake, but neither Dethtron himself nor my erstwhile partner Lauby-sheimer responded to my (desperate) email for clarification. There’s only one explanation.

They’re out to get me. They don’t just want to kill me - they want to erase me from history itself!

It’s the only explanation that makes sense.


Thursday, October 6, 2011

HoP Idol: The Other Guy Interviews SinSynn

Prepare yourselves for the sheer Lovecraftian terror of a second dose of SinSynn this week as finalist and freelance blogger The Other Guy interviews him.  I don't know how else to preface other than saying that yes, there will be vaguely pornographic images of squids.

September 25th 1856

Dear Gentlemen and members of the House of Paincakes. It is my pleasure to report the findings of my latest expedition to “The Bronx”, a fierce area of the former colonies known for its dangerous natives and fearsome music called “Hip-Hop”.
We made a quick passage from London. The schooner proved herself to be a good sea boat, and behaved admirably during some very heavy weather. No serious accident occurred.

Upon arrival we encountered a local who only answered to the name of SinSynn. We managed to find ways of communication, often involving hand gestures and the passing of money between hands.
Unusually, this particular gentleman seemed to be under the malediction of believing himself something akin to a giant squid, and regularly referenced non-existent limbs and tentacles.

In the interests of xenoarchaeology, we procured an interview of 50 questions with him, in exchange for twelve crates of brandy and thrupance. Please read the attached for your pleasure and interest in the case.

Yours sincerely

The Other Guy,


Wednesday, October 5, 2011

HoP Idol: Hot Panda Interviews Dethtron

Yo Yo Yo everybody.  Today we've got Hot Panda interviewing me... or wait, who did you interview?  Yourself?  Way to follow directions señor panda.  Oh well, I know you were all dying to know about the troubled childhood moving from foster home to foster home boring middle class life that has led me to behave the way I do on the Internet, but that will have to wait for another day (or you can find Brent's interview of me for BoK from a while back).  Now I'm going to let this stand because it's funny to me and I really appreciate the schizophrenia inherent in blogging and so do I.

What is a HOTPanda - A rare bearlike mammal (Ailuropoda melanoleuca) of the mountains of China and Tibet, having woolly fur with distinctive black and white markings.  Also called giant panda, panda bear...Wait a minute that doesn't sound right...A HotPanda is by definition a rare blogger that dwells predominately in the forty first millennium.  It has a silly demeanor, with distinctive hate for DONUTs and a love for ROBOTS.  Today I am going to take you behind the mask that you all know as HotPanda and examining the inner working of a man long lost to the warp storms of Warhammer 40k.


SinSynn and the Fluffy Hamster Argument

Hey Folks, SinSynn here.

So I couldn't sleep the other night (possibly due to that stupid Battlefield 3 Beta on X-Box Live, but, really...who can be sure? :P), and I decided to pull one of my old-school favorite booky-things off the shelf.

Dark Apostle, by Anthony Reynolds.

*Mmmm...delicious Chaos-y goodness*

It's the simply ghastly account of a member of the Word Bearers, who seeks to rise through the ranks of that infamous Chapter.
To say this book revels in hideousness is an understatement- there's bloodily described Human Sacrifice at every turn, major consorting with Daemons, and when you hear the Word Bearers reminisce about the way they ritually abused every living thing at a Sororitas Convent for weeks (including the Battle Sisters), you'll shiver at the pure evil....

I so goddam LOVE that book, and it's two sequels.


Tuesday, October 4, 2011

HoP Idol: Von Interviews Loquacious

Greetings everybody!  Today we've got a special idol treat as Von of Game Over interviews HoP's very first author (outside of Lauby and I), Loquacious.  Will we wonder whether women will write, waxing wittily with wonder, while we watch, weeping with .... shit, that's all I've got.  For those not in the know, Lo used to start all of her articles with a motherfucker alliteration, which I miss dearly.  Anyhow, here goes nothing...

Von:  Hey! Dethtron called (well, emailed) re: HoP Idol Thing. Apparently you and I have to have some sort of vaguely structured call-and-response discourse thing where you lie to me and I write down your lies. I think they call them 'interviews'?
Hope all's well in Gopherland!

Lo:  Gopherland is mostly wonderful now that TheDude has returned from his trip, but he brought me a cold as a gift. =/


Non-Spam but Still competitive...Possible or Not?

Sometimes I get all retarded and accidentally post things early.  Sadly, Google isn't much into features that let you fix that.  SO, this is an actual GMort post even if it says 'Lauby.'

I find that comments to most of my more confrontational posts tend to be divided into two diametrically opposing views.


1) You are completely right*...

* Which is a perfectly reasonable viewpoint that requires little clarification.


You are completely wrong...

Unfortunately, it's very rare that anybody puts the depth of information into their dispute of my answer than I initially put into my defence of my viewpoint.

"I've seen millions of posts like this and their all wrong" is possibly the most pointless answer in the history of debate unless you explain why they/me are wrong!!!

So it looks like if there's going to be a decent counter to my 'Competitive is Fun' and 'Spam is the only way to go in 5th' arguments I'll have to come up with it myself.

Lets start with the easy ones ;-)


Monday, October 3, 2011

HoP Idol: Lantz Interviews G Mort

First up this week we've got Lantz of Twin-Linked Awesome interviewing our very own G Mort.  Buckle in and let the good times roll.

We're getting down to the last few weeks of HOP Idol and somehow I'm still here. Either I'm just that damn good or I've spent my spare time paying off one of the authors of House of Paincakes via goods and services to keep myself in the ranks.
Make Your Choice As To Which Is True.

This week we were told to conduct an interview with one of HOP's authors and my draw from the hat was the one and only GMort. As many of you know (and if you don't, you should) GMort is quite the controversial writer from the UK. Bringing up many topics that never get spoken, and because they don't cause controversy. He's a contender in the 40k world of opinion pieces and continues to provide the masses with thought-provoking shock and awe. And I had to interview him...I'll admit I was a bit intimidated when I first got the assignment. So, who is GMort and how did he get involved in the world of Warhammer? Without further adieu, the interview:


This Week On HoP Idol

Yes, the rumors are true, HoP Idol is back underway in ....oh... about an hour.  Now depending on when you read that last statement, the contest may be on in less than an hour or even have already begun, but from my perspective at this precise moment in time, we're at t-minus 1 hour. 

This week we'll be doing a little getting to know you for the HoP staff.  All of the HoP Idol finalists have been assigned a HoP regular author to interview.  Other than that, there were no limitations set, so we'll see what comes out.  Spoiler alert, one of the finalists didn't even follow those directions.  Tune in to find out who it was and what he did.  So if you've ever wanted to know more about Lauby, GMort, SinnSynn, Loquacious, or myself; this is going to be your week. 

Voting starts this Friday and will last a week.  During that week, all of the finalists will be on to tell you about how they got into gaming themselves in what was intended to be a Quickfire Challenge.  Since those have been cancelled, we're just bringing you the posts they already wrote for funsies.

See you back in an hour....or less....or more if you've mastered time travel or found some kind of inter-dimensional wormhole. 


New Member Monday - Hair of the Future

Hey everyone and welcome to another exciting week at the House of Paincakes.  And I do mean exciting.

First up, we actually had a winning essay this week for today's New Member Monday.   So I won't be forced to find and old thing on the internet in an attempt to pad post length!

except for this.  But in all fairness, I just can;t stop laughing at the lazer-mullet
Second, the HoP Idol contest will be this (for sure, definitely) back.  I know, I know... i keep saying that.  But seriously, last week some writing and planning occurred (so I' wasn't technically wrong).  Plus, I've actually seen one of the new posts... in some form.

Right, Blog stuff.

New Member Monday

Keywords: Warhammer Fantasy, 40k, Orks,Mordheim, Daemons, Empire, Vampire Counts, Dwarfs, Painting, Buildings, savoir faire, pamplemousse, je ne sais quoi

Rust and the City
Keywords: 40k, terrain, deathsquads, death guard, orks, warriors of chaos, renegades, industrial

Incarias Speaks
Keywords: Warhammer, Warhammer 40k, Blood Bowl, WarmaHordes, rantettes (patent pending), overly literal rules interpretations and a general lack of focus

Wait.. waht's that?  Winning essay?!  Hell yeah.  This time from Incariss...  who's blog has his name in it so it seems redundant to mention it.  But it's that one right above.  See it?  Good.  Essay:

On the question as to why I’m God’s gift to the Internet, I’m an atheist. I do not, therefore believe there is a God whose gift to the Internet I could possibly be. I do, however, possess that fine combination of a degree in textual analysis and an obsessive mind. To offset this, I have the finely tuned and focused mind of an excessively caffeinated squirrel. I do therefore occasionally produce well-crafted, if overly literal, posts on various rules interpretations. At other times, I merely whine about superglue. I don’t know, it might amuse someone...


Sunday, October 2, 2011

[Musings of a Game Store Owner] Beyond the Shelf

We run a retail business, with stock on the shelves and items ready to buy. Sometimes items are not on the shelves, but customers still want the missing item. That's when a special order is required. Special orders are our bread and butter, the way we earn our keep. We have 6 distributors available, with multiple warehouses all over the country. Our store works a lot of angles to keep good stuff coming in in an effort to keep our customers happy.

We usually do our ordering once a week, and have the majority of our stock arrive the day after ordering. For most special orders, a customer waits no more than 6 days for arrival; and most times just 2 or 3. That quick delivery is a huge selling point for people that are considering "going online"- we'll usually have their item to them faster than they can get it delivered from an online store.

It happens now and then that our distributors won't have an item a customer wants. When this happens, we pull out the big guns of customer service- we start hunting. We get on the phone with distributors and vendors, seeing if any are hiding in places that aren't readily noticeable. Then we start hitting the smaller guys, who don't always have volume discounts, but might have access to some more unusual stock items. When that doesn't work, we punt.


Friday, September 30, 2011

The Weekly Top X - The One Where Brent and SynSinn Drive Their Car of a Cliff

SinSynn: Hey! What are you doing? Get down before they spot you!
Sheesh! You’ll give our position away.....

Brent: You worry to much! I’m invisible I am.

SinSynn: Hello, folks. SinSynn here.

Brent: And Brent! Man, this was a team-up destined to happen - how exciting is this?

There he goes, bringing down the cool points as always. Not Brent here. I’m Green with Envy, so I ain’t offsetting my type like these two assholes. It’s not like Today’s Top X is going to be even remotely readable, so what do I care?

SinSynn: I’m hiding here in this week’s Top-X with my buddy Brent (and his alter ego, unfortunately), cuz Lauby is a big giant knucklehead.
His weekly Top-X ‘experiments’ (which, not for nuthin,’ seem to involve a whole lotta Xenos torture) have completely gone awry, and now....

Brent: What alter ego? And would you quit touching my ass with your Disintegrator Ray Gun... thing?


Thursday, September 29, 2011

Community Announcement - IDIC Beer New Necron Codex Poll

Just a quick little announcement from Nick over at IDICBeer.  There's a poll going and you can participate!  Which you should do.  Check it out

Nick speaking,

Just a quick post, or more of a shout out really, to say please vote on the Necron Codex Poll I have over on my Blog. I would really love to see just what the general consensus it regarding playing the new Codex. So regardless if you will, or won't be playing Necrons, please come over and vote. I would love to build up loads of votes on this Poll to really get a feel of what everyone thinks of Necrons, so please feel free to do your own quick shout out for me, and lets get as many votes as we can!

New Necron Codex Poll (Please Vote)

Got an announcement of your own you'd like to see get some more exposure?  Drop us a line at and we'll see about exposing the hell out of it!


Wednesday, September 28, 2011

SinSynn Ponders...stuffs

Hey Folks, SinSynn here.

Lemme ask you something....
What's your WORST gaming experience like, ever?
What do you fear, gaming wise?

I mean, have you ever stood across a Tabletop with someone you would gladly Disintegrate, if only you had a Disintegrator?
Maybe some rotten 'human,' who stood for everything you LOATHE in life, kicked your lil' Troopies around because you couldn't roll above a 3 the ENTIRE GAME, and he thinks he won due to 'skill.'

Then he gets all 'braggy' about it...

*Yeah, we think it...but we don't say it, right?*

Or maybe you're up at 3 am the night before the Tournament (which begins in...5 hours. Yay!), trying to get those last few models together...

You carefully line that final arm up, up after dabbing a little glue on it.
Now hold...hold....Ah, that should be good....
...if your fingers weren't completely stuck to it as well.


Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Power-gaming Makes the World Go Round...

Lets cut to meat of the issue shall we,

Competition is a bloody good thing. If we didn't feel the need to push ourselves to the limit in order to be better than other like minded individuals then the world would be a much worse place.

No Sport for a start.....

Okay that probably didn't scare as many of you as it might have done.....

No on-line gaming.....

NOW your beginning to get worried.....


Monday, September 26, 2011

New Member Monday - The Douglass Adams Milestone

42 New Member Mondays.  Pretty damn neat.  Sadly, today's NMM makes 43.  42 points deducted from Paincakes for not being good at paying attention.  Man, we'll never win the house cup at this rate if I keep deducting points from our score.  Oh sweet baby Jesus...  I just made a Harry Potter reference.  And then called attention to it.  And then left it in.  WHY IS THIS HAPPENING!

Luckily, the HoP Idol may actually be back on track this week.  The prompts were delivered and the responses should be very cool.  Kind of an 'under the hood' look at the House.  I may have to get glamor shots done to give this place a kind of Tiger Beat vibe.


Sunday, September 25, 2011

[Musings of a Game Store Owner] What's For Dinner?

It's my typical night at the game store- I come in directly from my "day job". I usually don't even stop by my house on the way in, I just jet right there. Like most other nights, I forgot to grab cash before I left the house in the morning, so I have no funds in my wallet. And dude, I am HUNGRY.

I get to the store and get settled in, and all the regulars have already eaten or are eating as I inquire about a dinner run. While these are regulars that I've known a long time, I can't leave once I get here. I just can't leave the cash drawer or the stock unattended,  because who knows who might walk in the door the second I leave. So, running for a quick bite is out, and no one is willing to hit the drive through for me. Crap- on my own again. Now I gotta figure out what to eat.