Important Stuff

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

HoP Idol Finale

This is a bit of a bittersweet moment for me, really.  We've come to the very last round of HoP Idol.  It's been a blast to run this competition and I have to say that all of us here at the HoP have been thoroughly floored by the unexpectedly high quality of all of the submissions we've received throughout the contest. 

Picture is unrelated... or maybe Ice Cube is my idol

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Does the Background Material Actually Matter?

There have been a lot of 'rumours' about Necrons lately and we're finally getting some solid information about their 'new' background material.

Now I've never been a fan of Necrons. They're boring to both play with and against due to their limited number of units and almost complete lack of interesting units, not to mention the fact that 5th edition was not particularly kind to them.....



The fact that they were going to get a whole load of new models and new special characters was pretty obvious because that's now the basic 'template' for 40k armies. Vehicles were inevitable because Games Workshop has learned that making a customer buy two things (a transport and a unit to go inside) makes them more money than them just buying a unit and special characters have gone from being a 'ask your opponent' issue to a fundamental part of many peoples armies. So Necrons now fit into the 5th edition mould as everyone knew they would but obviously that design mechanic doesn't really work when your armies concept is 'emotionless robots ruled by Star Gods, though those Gods still die when a couple of Space Marine Predators shoot at them....' so obviously the background or 'Fluff' needed to take this new overall concept and give it some kind of context.

New Necron Background in Brief.
So apparently all the Necrons we've encountered before were the boring, sucky ones and the interesting ones have just started to wake up...and the reason C'tan die to the application of a slight breeze is because their not really C'tan at all.....

But does any of this really matter?

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Monday, October 31, 2011

New Member Monday - The One on Halloween!

Right on, it's a New Member Monday on what should be a national holiday.  It's self generating news!  Happy Halloween.  Or Jesusween if you're into that sort of thing.  Now I don't want to get into theology, but I feel like a better name could have been chosen.  It sounds more the follow up to 2007's La Cucaracha.


So.... New Member Monday.  We've got a bumper crop this week and I am completely unable to think of something Halloween/candy related to say in regards to this.  I mean I guess new members are like sweet delicious candy to us... or something.

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Sunday, October 30, 2011

[Musings of a Game Store Owner] Are You Hiring?

As I mentioned last time, our business is growing. We've been looking at larger locations to accommodate that growth. However, as I said last time, there's more to growth than just a new space- a lot more.

Something that's been on our mind as we expand is the seemingly never-ending lists of "stuff" that has to happen for the store to function effectively. There are a lot of behind the scenes activities that, while small, are time consuming. TheDude and I know that we simply don't have enough time to do all of it- even with taking it home, extra shifts and coming in early.

So we're thinking about hiring an employee.


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Saturday, October 29, 2011

Go Download your very own Adeptus Mechanicus FanDex Right Now

Lantz wanted me to share a link with you to his fantastic new AdMech Fandex V3.0.  Yeah, I did say 3.0, so take that web 2.0!



Follow this link to download land and clap if you believe in cyborgs.

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Friday, October 28, 2011

The Weekly Top X - Group Effort

Hi hi, everyone!  It's Friday and it's time for me to give you all some sweet, sweet blog nourishment.  In much the same way a bird chews up worms and force-feeds helpless baby chicks.  With the exception that the mashed up 'worms' will be better for the experience.  Which is not to say that the bloggers are worm-like...  you know what?  This analogy is terrible.   Or is it a simile?


Let's just move on.  This week, all the picks were made by my fellow HoPpers, so it's up to me to figure out why they picked it and to get people to click the links.

1) 3++ is the New Black - Fallacy 40k: Finesse armies/units
This one was selected by the internet's favorite son, GMort (and Lo after the fact).  Normally, we like to spread the Top X love around so we try and keep repeats to a minimum.  But this is too good to pass up. Plus, we already reposted the article GMort would have picked. Kirby's post is a well written and well reasoned post on the subject of copping out by using 'finesse' as an adjective.

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HoP Idol Round 4 Results In

Sadly this week we'll be saying goodbye to The Other Guy.  Based on his entries so far I hope he's able to find a place to write soon.




That leaves us with (in no order) a near 3 way tie for those advancing this week: Von, HotPanda, and Lantz.

Stay tuned for the final round of HoP Idol coming to you mid next week, where the contestants will be challenged with creating the first article in the series they will write if they are lucky enough to become a HoP weekly columnist.

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Thursday, October 27, 2011

Frontline Gamer Responds to GMort


Well folks, GMort has been at it again and has generated yet another article to get you cats talking.  And talk you have.  Former "HoP Idol" finalist Frontline Gamer was kind enough to send us in a response to GMort's "Anger is a Virtue"  (making your own blog roll vulgar since 2011) that is so chock full of highbrow and lowbrow quotes that we couldn't pass it up.  There wasn't a picture on this article originally, but I added one to make it visually awesome for you dear readers.  Enjoy and as always don't forget to hit us up at info@houseofpaincakes.com if you have anything to share. 


'The truth is born of arguments, but so too are enemies' - Jody Barton, Frontline Gamer Blog, 2011

I've started this blog with a quote, from me, because I think it's exactly where I stand on the issue of arguments, online or otherwise. Although I do so more to ridicule myself than to elevate myself to the same plane as those others I quote in this article. I think that knowledge and progress are born of disagreement, and people's desire to find the truth and to learn, or they should be. And thus by extension prove the other person wrong. However, do we have to have anger for an argument to exist? I don't think so, and in many cases anger clouds an argument and makes any disagreement personal. Anger also ensures we expel energy in useless conflict that furthers neither truth nor discussion. So why am I writing this? Well it's because of an article on HoP written by GMort, which can be found here. Letting rip, can it be cathartic? Yes. Can it be productive? Yes. But invariably it will be destructive, not only to others but also to your own beliefs and position, as it diminishes  what you have to say.

'The aim of an argument or discussion should not be victory, but progress' - Joseph Joubert, Pensées, 1842

Here's the thing, Joseph Joubert is right. We have disagreements so we can find the truth, or a version of it, so we further human understanding or our own, not to prove we are 'right'. If we take that further it means we all must accept the horrifying possibility that we might be wrong. Yeah I know, scary thought for some of you isn't it? I freely admit that what I say, write or believe are nothing more than my own opinions on things, and as such I accept the very real possibility that some new piece of information might change my opinion on things. All too often though on the Internet I see people arguing for the sake of being 'right', not for furthering their own understanding. We have all seen others trample over people's opinions and arguments, there is nothing wrong with that, but the manner in which we choose to do that is important, and frames much of how such dissections of arguments are viewed. Shouting somebody down, and being rude, aggressive and vulgar is not the right way to further any argument or discussion in my opinion, because:

'One man's frankness is another man's vulgarity' - Kevin Smith

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Wednesday, October 26, 2011

SinSynn's Rumors, Rants and Raves- Necron Edition


Hey folks, SinSynn here.

So does anybody know what's up with GW and their 'strictly enforced policy' of...whatever?
No more rumors, no more 'leaks,' or somesuch, wasn't it?
Well, apparently that was a buncha baloney, cuz the Necrons made a splash this week.

*Skin and Soul-flavored ice cream...yummy!*

I gotta tell ya, brothers and sisters, seeing Xenos rumors- complete with glimpses of the units and character models, made me pretty happy....
Yeah, I'm a sucker for these things, but...waddayagonnado?

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Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Anger is a Gift...

I occasionally upset people...

I could say that I don't do it on purpose and that might be true...except on the occasions that it's a complete and total lie...

Sometimes I upset people to make a particular point and other times I put my point across in a way that they find offensive and they become upset due to the way I make my point...Hell, they might even agree with me despite the fact that they find my use of the word FUCK as a substitute for punctuation marks disagreeable, lol.

So if I know that a particular argument could be phrased differently in order to make the debate more palatable and therefore less offensive then why don't I?

Well.....

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Monday, October 24, 2011

New Member Monday - Newness Abound

Hello Chumbas and Wambas!  Another glorious day dawns over the House of Paincakes Empire!  There's no site news today, but have some extenuating circumstances!

  1. 1) We're still trying to get funds for the hot air balloon so we can verify whether or not the sun never sets on said empire
  2. It turns out that Scooby Doo: A XXX Porn Parody is as awesome as you dared hope.  

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Sunday, October 23, 2011

[Musings of a Game Store Owner] Growing Pains

Have you seen  this post?   If not, check it out. It was inspired by Dethtron's challenge, but was completely and totally for fun.

In taking the pictures and putting together the post, I was reminded that there's an issue behind the scenes going on- something TheDude and I really, really need to address.

Our business is growing. In addition to more merchandise, more events and more stuff, we have more customers.


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Friday, October 21, 2011

The Weekly Top X - Not Brent's Not X

Not Brent: So, I have to write an opening? 


 ...


 Not Brent: Anyone else really, really attracted to Lindsey Lohan lately?


Lauby:  Uuughgh.  I knew this was gonna be a mistake...

1) AJ's Gaming World - Hydra Gun shield Templates and tutorial part 1
 Lauby: Hey man, Flames of War is a 15mm game!  Wait, those are for 40k?  Fuckin' A.
 Not Brent: What’s that you’re drinking?

2) Rant in E Minor - Throne In E minor Report & Review
Not Brent: Ha! I loved this one!
Lauby: I think the most interesting thing about this whole Throne of Skulls bid'ness is that for all the complaining the 'super competative' crowd has done about the event, everyone who's gone has seemed to have an absolute bucket of fun.  From this report, you can really get the sense that Sorrowshard had a good as hell time.
Not Brent:  You’re missing the point - are you drunk on Bartles and James again? What have I told you about that? It’s just not cool... and you have to be cool and stay cool to play Robin to my Batman.
Lauby:  It's not B&J, it's sweet, delicious rum... and it's not 'again', it's "still'.  And why am I the sidekick and how the hell are you the goddamn Batman?  I always thought you were more on the supply side of blog crime.
Not Brent: Well, the Joker’s sidekick is a phone. No, man! Did you scope the last picture? There’s a dude who will help with my ultimate goal of Digital Domination!

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Thursday, October 20, 2011

HoP Idol Round 4 Voting Live

That's right folks, it's time to pick the final 3 contestants who will be going on to the pyrotechnic-laced, star-studded finale spectacular round 5.  Oh what's that, we don't have a budget and this contest only exists in cyber space and none of that stuff is true except that round 5 will be the finale.  Well shiiiiit!

Even the poster for this film sucks


After another great week of articles, the choice for who our last contestants will be is up to you guys.  Make your decisions wisely and don't forget to vote for 3 contestants. 

Here are this week's entries, just to get them fresh in your mind again:

Von's Best of Boxtree Books

HotPanda's Termicide

Lantz's Fall of Damnos

The Other Guy's Two Strikes and Out

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HoP Idol Round 4: Best of Boxtree Books

Last up for this round, we've got Von's article.


The Best of Boxtree Books

Back in the late 1980s, when times were hard and rules were harder, when Jervis Johnson had yet to invent the Grand Tournament and the Black Library was just a one-liner in the Eldar background, when bad puns and playful political jibes were the order of the day... back in them days, Games Workshop produced a line of Warhammer and Warhammer 40,000 tie-in novels.

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Wednesday, October 19, 2011

HoP Idol Round 4: Termicide

Next up we have HotPanda's entry.



Termicide - The act of causing ones own death. Termicide is indirect, when one does not desire it as an end or a means.  When one nevertheless commits an act which courts death in the attempt to hand out death to ones foes, knowing that you yourself may well succumb to the same illness.



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SinSynn's List Design for the Luckless


Hey folks, SinSynn here.

I suppose I'm just one of many gamers out there that has absolutely no luck, but sometimes it feels as though I've been singled out by the Dice Gods for some unknown transgression.

I have absolutely no idea what I did to earn their ire, but I definitely have.

It's so bad, I've given up trying to appease them, giving up begging and pleading and sacrificing...stuffs.
DON'T YOU JUDGE ME!
...it wuz just that one time...

*And it didn't work anyway*


So you know what?
I don't even care anymore.
Screw the Dice Gods.

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Tuesday, October 18, 2011

What's 'Soft' Scoring Got To Do With Competition Anyway?

I acted as team photographer for a group of my friends at the Throne of Skulls tournament in Nottingham this weekend.

I mentioned it here and did an overview here.

There you go.....

Oh wait I probably had some kind of rant to do as well didn't I?


The scoring system was shockingly bad to the point of making me want to kick people in the head and then set them on fire....okay that might be an overreaction.....just the kick should be enough I suppose.....as long as it's to the groin area.....

So what was wrong with it then?

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HoP Idol Round 4: Fall of Damnos

Here is our next entry from Lantz.

Book Review: Fall of Damnos Novel


As we push forward into the HOP Idol competition we were given the option for this week to write a book review on something game related. Luck would have it, I just finished a novel by Nick Kyme all about my favorite 40k race; Necrons. And, ya know, maybe there was some Imperial Guard, Space Marines and Adeptus Mechanicus in there, I wasn't really paying attention to what they were doing. Fall of Damnos paints a mural of a war-torn world infested with intelligent atomitons that wish to extract your soul from whatever hole they can find/create. Or just kill you, they're not picky.

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Monday, October 17, 2011

New Member Monday Update

Looks like we missed one....from 2 weeks ago.  It's probably all my fault, but I'm going to blame the postman for losing the application.

Curse you you bastard postman!


So extreme apologies (on behalf of the postman, of course) go out to The Shell Case.  It's an awesome blog and there's some fun Necron rumors up there right now, so make sure to go check it out.

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Hop Idol Round 4: Two Strikes and Out!

First up in the round we have The Other Guy's entry.


Two strikes and out!

Hello, greetings and other British versions of “Hi”. I’m The Other Guy, and today we are talking tactics. I’ve been very much enjoying the new Ogre Kingdoms army book, and will be journeying with you into my views on this book. Because I am rubbish at choosing internet photos to go with articles, you will be getting some of my personal (Work in Progress) Ogres to distract you from the text.

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HoP Idol Round 4 Begins

The next and 2nd to last round of HoP Idol will be kicking off in just a little bit.  To prep you dear readers as to the nature and to give full disclosure on the directions given to the contestants here is the e-mail that was sent to all of them:

 

Moving forward all directions must be followed exactly by all contestants.  Failure to due so will require article revisions until it conforms.  If these are not submitted by the deadline, the article will not run, except in the case of prior approval due to extenuating circumstances.   I don't want to have to be a hardass about it, but the peanut gallery that is the Internet appears to require this of me.

Now for your next challenge (Due Sunday 10/16) you will have two sets of instructions to choose from:

  1. Write a book report on a gaming related novel.  This must be a work of fiction related to a gaming system (WFB, 40k, battletech, shadowrun, D&D, etc).  The book need not be currently in print and there is no page requirement and no further thematic restriction.  Any game system may be used.
  2. Tactical Tips- write about one (or more) hot tactical moves that you think readers may benefit from.  Feel free to write about anything from deploying certain armies to exploiting rules holes for dirty tricks.  Again, any game system is fair....game.  There is no word limit, but from a readers perspective, if you're over 7 or 8 pages in Word, it's probably too long. 
Then in response to a contestant question, I added the following (again provided to all contestants and within an hour of directions being issued):

addendum to #1- you may profile multiple works of a single author or series of books.

Posts start soon and voting will begin Thursday and run through next Tuesday.  I can't wait.

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New Member Monday -

Ah yes, the season change.  You air conditioning bill goes down with an inverse relationship to how likely it is that you'll get sick.  Illness already having struck down Dethtron, may be coming for me.  I've got my OJ and a commitment to sleeping in, so watch out!  Nothing new or exciting to report his week.  Except for the usual new members. 

New Member Monday

White Noise UK
Keywords: Warhammer 40k, wargaming, rpging from the prospective of a 46 yearr and other entertaining stuff

BDS40k 
Keywords: 40k, old tymey models, retro stuff, self improvement, paint and modeling

The Marienburg Gazette
Keywords: Warhammer fantasy, Mordheim, Blood Bowl, WIPs

The Shell Case
Keywords: Warhammer Fantasy, 40k, Wargaming, Reviews, News, Hobby

No winning essay this week.  But here's this funny thing:

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Sunday, October 16, 2011

HoP Idol (Not) Quickfire Challenge: Von

All right boys and ghouls, next up in the part of the contest that no longer has any bearing on voting, reality, or quasi-reality, we have the one and only Von from Game Over telling you about his gaming origin story.  Sadly, no radioactive spiders were involved.

I've told my origin story so many times that it's stopped being interesting.

via the Fighting Fantasy wiki, where someone can't spell 'dragon'

These days I tell people I got a paper cut from a radioactive copy of 'Master of Chaos', that Rick Priestly crashed his spaceship in my back garden and bestowed his powers upon me, that it's an ancient curse laid on the first-born son of my household - anything but telling the same non-story over and over and over again as if it actually matters.

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[Musings of a Game Store Owner] Telling the Truth

The Dude and I share something in common that's pretty important to who we are as people. We're both disgustingly honest.


Most of the time, this honesty is a good thing. It's helped us build a reputation as being trustworthy and unlike used car weasels. Our customers come to us with the confidence that when they deal with us, we're not out to snow them just to make a sale, but that we legitimately have an interest in a relationship with them in mind. We do have varying degrees of how blunt we'll be with our honesty-TheDude has no filter, and says things just as they are very frequently. I'm blessed with far more tact and usually soften what I say to keep customers coming back and friendships intact, but I never hide the truth. 

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HoP Idol (Not) Quickfire Challenge: Hot Panda

Well folks, dethtron is back and it appears that not even a suspected case of shigellosis (webMD it if you don't know it) can bring him down.  Now that I'm not having sweet fever dreams any more I'm back to finish up the sadly abandoned Quickfire Challenge project with this excellent entry on how the Hottest of Hot Pandas broke his gaming cherry.

Warhammer 40k: Losing my Virginity
The world of Warhammer 40k is a dark grim place.  It can corrupt the innocent in a heart beat and leaving them with craving for plastic crack.  Once you cross this line there is little hope for salvation. Not even god can save you.  I know all of this myself cause I am an addict and my first time playing Warhammer 40k is etched in my brain forever.

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Saturday, October 15, 2011

SinSynn Supplemental: FoW for the LOLZ!

Hey folks, SinSynn here.

Welcome to the second part of my irregular Supplemental Series, dealing with my headfirst dive into Flames of War.

As of last time, I had played a couple of test games, gotten a 'basic handle' of the rules, and gotten my hands on some models.

I took an immediate shine to the tactical nature of the game. I really liked the different scale, as 15mm models on a 6x4 foot table, combined with the in-game effects of long range shooting, concealment, etc, makes for...well, more 'thinking ahead' than I was used to with 40k.

I guess I'm one of those guys that's a sucker for cool, interesting terrain, as well...I just never knew it.
I mean, seriously- lookit THIS:

*this is like Flames of War porn for me*

Oh my goodness...Flames of War is bonkers with terrain!
You wanna lot of it? Do it!
You want next to nothing? Desert Scenario! Do it!
Pfft!......awesome, is all....no excuses necessary here.

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Friday, October 14, 2011

User Content Friday - A Long Diatribe and one Little Tip

Since the Top X was short, I thought I'd increase you;re Friday enjoyment with a brief return of User Content to Fridays.  This time 'round we've got a lovely (yes, lovely) post from a new member blog called Hive Zero.


So, I'm finally recovered from Adepticon. 
Well, that's a bit of a misleading statement. The day after Adepticon ended, I began a new job. As an old dude, I can tell you that even good changes are difficult. For the past ten years, I flew out on Mondays and flew home on Thursday nights. Ten years. There were pockets of time when I would be at home for months at a time as well. Both extremes are extremely difficult on the partner or spouse, and I need to acknowledge and marvel at my wife's infinite patience and ability to shoulder seemingly-insurmountable burdens while maintaining her own identity. And she tolerates, nay, encourages, my addiction to plastic and pewter.

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The Weekly Top X - In the Spirit of the Quickfire Challenge

Hey cats and kittens, this week's top x is gonna be a short one.  The planets just weren't aligned this week and as a result, the mystical forces that this column relies on weren't howling at full force through the skull we use as a writing aid.  But never fear, we've found some excellent stuff to share!  We'll be back next week just as soon as I get the courage to talk to that base and vile character who calls himself Not Brent.

1) Frontline Gamer - Review: Dreadfleet
It's sad to see a HoP Idol contestant go because of not losing the vote.  Actually, that's sad too.  In any case, Frontline gamer gets a parting piece for all of you in the form of this excellent review.  Turns out that FG is a huge fan...  of tearing this game a new asshole. 

2) Da Long Wayz Dezert Groop - So what happens when the side projects are no longer on the side? 
There's a lot of Warhammer weltchmerz these days as the realities of competitive play become apparent in a game that cots $600+ to get into.  But fear not, there's this post!  I solid bit of introspection, some truth about the way Warmahordes plays and a reminder that GW still has crazy fun options for you.

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Wednesday, October 12, 2011

HoP Idol (Not) Quickfire Challenge: Lantz

Next up in the non-competition that is the now defunct round of quickfire challenge entries we have Twin Linked Awesome's Lanzt here to spin a yarn about his first forrays into gaming.  Remember, this is not an article for which you'll be voting and no longer has any bearing on the HoP Idol competition.




I remember the good times, I remember them well. Things used to be good. I used to have money, uncut hands and glue encrusted fingertips were things in fairy tales. I remember the good times…
That all changed one drizzly Tuesday afternoon with one word; free. The gentlemen in my gaming group had all played tabletop games before, more specifically Warhammer 40,000. They knew what they were doing, and yet they continued anyway. They lured me in with the good stuff only for me to find that I needed more. And more I could have, but…it would cost me…

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SinSynn's WAAC Tactics for the Fluffy Gamer

Hey folks, SinSynn here.

I have recently come to the conclusion that I'm basically a Fluffbunny.
I have absolutely no problem with this realization, but there it is.

*It's not so bad...I just really fear hawks now*


On the flipside, I have no problems whatsoever with 'competitive types.'
This is their hobby, too, so...whatevs, amirite?
I'll gladly exchange jokes and jabs with the likes of GMort (our own 'power-gamer extraordinaire' here at HoP, and author of GMort's Chaotica) , and I've had many interesting back 'n' forths with Stelek, over at YtTH, regarding the Tau.

These guys BLEED competitive, and I embrace them as brothers.
It is what it is...different strokes, different folks and whatnot.

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Tuesday, October 11, 2011

HoP Idol (Not) Quickfire Challenge: The Other Guy

Today our free-lance blogger finalist, The Other Guy, is going to share the story about how he got turned on to the hobby that we love so much.  Hope you guys are enjoying getting to know these contestants a bit more.  I know I am.


My Hobby Journey

My uncle bought me my first models when I was around 10 years old. 2 of my uncles played Warhammer regularly together, and I loved going round their respective houses, looking at their Dwarfs / Skaven and admiring the love they put into their armies.

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Making a Silk Purse From a Sows Ear...

There's an old saying about Silk Purses and Sows Ears which is basically telling us that some things are just so fundamentally sub standard that nothing can be done to improve them by any kind of noticeable margin.

Though that is the more polite version of the saying, I prefer 'You can't polish a Turd' as it almost has a swear word in it which is (as I'm sure your aware) how I judge the quality of any sentence. It's also probably a better description of what I'm going to be waffling on about.

The theory is often put forward that a non-optimised list can effectively become optimised in the hands of a general of sufficient talent or at least one who's used a certain list forever. Of course should both of those things be true of that person then we get all sorts of oddball pieces of shit doing well despite many competitive gamers claims that it shouldn't happen.....

The fact is that it does.....Though they're right in the fact that it probably shouldn't,


Lets look at why, shall we?

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Monday, October 10, 2011

HoP Idol (Not) Quickfire Challenge: Inquisitor_Dunn

Taking the wayback machine all the way back to when I thought we could do quickfire challenges, here is Inquisitor_Dunn (now out of the competition) taking the wayback machine to talk to you about his first gaming experience.  Remember, this doesn't count for immunity, voting, or anything else anymore, it's just for funsies.

Take a Trip in the Wayback Machine!
by Inquisitor_Dunn


For this week's Quickfire, we are to tell a tale of how we got into gaming. To tell this tale, I first need to explain who I am. I am Inquisitor_Dunn on the interwebs and I have a little blog, 2 Cents on 40k. I started my blog to keep me painting my 40k armies by posting up stuff I'm working on. I had to do this because I needed to break my World of Warcraft addiction. This was not my first video game addiction.....( you are now entering the wayback machine )


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Important HoP Idol Update

After the views expressed by you dear readers and some contestants, we've decided to call a do-over on this week's HoP Idol contest.  While we recognize that this may seem unfair to those who followed rules there is an added complication that has made this necessary.  Sadly, and due to personal reasons not related in any way to any HoP Idol drama real or imagined, Frontline Gamer has had to bow out of the competition this week.  We're sad to see this highly talented writer have to go but are more than sympathetic with his current needs.



This has pretty much made this week a wash, since we've lost a contestant regardless of the results.  As such, we're keeping the remaining 4 and will be starting a new challenge round soon, hoping to forget that this week ever happened (except the interview part, because they were all fucking great).

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New Member Monday - Three and Three

See.  I TOLD you that HoP Idol was still going.  Swish.

That's enough self aggrandizement for the morning.  I've got words to spew out at you.

New Features
1) I've enabled the social media link sharing.  So you can post all of our genius to facetube or twitbook or whatever other joke name site you can think of.  Plus the the REAL ones.

2) I've enabled a little star based rating system.  So now you can award between 1and 5 stars to our awesome posts.

3) I've added a google page translator.  Because we're international.  And because I really think being able to read us on Afrikaans is what we need to unlock the South African demographic.



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Sunday, October 9, 2011

[Musings of a Game Store Owner] Selling Pens


Lauby loves Loquacious' language and laments the lack of locution in the Lady's letters of late. Letting our league learn of his longing for the lively loosening of lessons in literacy, our leader leans on the legend to locate  landmarks of lexicons.

Let's linger longer in learned locations, letting our leader listen to our luminous Lady and her legions of lexemes.  The lamentations of the librarian are likely lessened as he loudly lords his license to lead over the litanies of our loveable losers, limiting the lack of literacy with licks of lengthy legends.

Congress of critics, concentrate as we commence conversations on commerce. Cease the crushing cascade of comments, and continue creating conclusions. 


Yeah, chew on that, folks!

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Friday, October 7, 2011

HoP Idol Voting Now Live

As the title of this post may have already led you to believe, the current round of voting for this leg of the HoP Idol competition is now live.  We've had 5 fan-fucking-tastic interviews this week that did not disappoint.  I don't envy you all having to choose winners.  As someone who has proven himself to be pretty much inept on either side of an interview, I am simply awestruck to have discovered that all five of the HoP Idol finalists were little Barbara Walters's. 



Voting will be going on from now until this coming Wednesday.  Since we're looking to level up 4 of the 5 current finalists, you may vote FOUR times in total.  Good luck to all the contestants.

To refresh your memories, all of this week's articles can be found at the links below after the jump-

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HoP Idol: Frontline Gamer Interviews Lauby

Last and not least we've got our very own co-creator of the HoP, Lauby getting his interview on with Frontline GamerPretty pictures will follow.

Well this week we've been given the task of interviewing one of the current International House of Paincakes writers. I got one of the big ones... Lauby, who co-founded the International House of Paincakes with Dethtron. Sadly though for him he'd drawn me has his interviewer and I'd personally like to say thanks to him for putting up with my erratic ways of late, as I've got a lot going on in my personal life right now and he was a pleasure to interview and very understanding. I've dropped 4 pictures of Lauby's lovely painting in here as well. So here it is...
Frontline Gamer: Hello. I'm going to be honest and say I have absolutely no idea where to start this interview. I'd ask for some hints and tips but I'm getting pressed for time now so I'm going to go with the obvious question. Why the hell did you decide to start the international House of Paincakes (hoP) with Dethtron in the first place? And as a follow up question, and are you utterly mad?

Lauby: Like so many 'Good' ideas throughout, history the whole idea started in a bar while Dethtron and I were working on a special kind of drunk - expensive beer drunk. At that point in our e-live we were both struggling to get readers for our own blogs and we just couldn't get things going to the extent we wanted. Commenting on other people's blogs and exchanging links only gets you so far, and is tedious, tedious work. Obviously the solution to that was to 'join a blogging network'. But the ones that existed at the time didn't have a lot to offer us or had a bunch of bullshit requirements we didn't much care for.

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The Weekly Top X - M. Night Shyamalan's "Brent"

Pssst! Pssst - hey, you.

Yea, you.

Yes, you! Right there! You! You’re you and I see you, you, YOU, YOU!



Can we get past this please? I’m on this side of the screen and you’re on the other. I really need some help... and I don’t think I have much more time.

Allow me to explain it. You see, I think I’m being erased from the House of Paincakes history. Being scrubbed right off the digital timeline.

I noticed Dethtron posted this the other day...


Wow. Powerful stuff. DT is giving Loquacious credit for being the first author outside of him and Lauby, and while I don’t want to take anything away from Lady Loq...

...me and Lauby were around writing the Top X from the beginning! Yes, this very weekly column you now beyond with your eyes, red with tears and wide with shock though they may be now!

Being the sensible Empty Digital Headache, I assumed at first it was a simple mistake, but neither Dethtron himself nor my erstwhile partner Lauby-sheimer responded to my (desperate) email for clarification. There’s only one explanation.

They’re out to get me. They don’t just want to kill me - they want to erase me from history itself!

It’s the only explanation that makes sense.

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Thursday, October 6, 2011

HoP Idol: The Other Guy Interviews SinSynn

Prepare yourselves for the sheer Lovecraftian terror of a second dose of SinSynn this week as finalist and freelance blogger The Other Guy interviews him.  I don't know how else to preface other than saying that yes, there will be vaguely pornographic images of squids.


September 25th 1856

Dear Gentlemen and members of the House of Paincakes. It is my pleasure to report the findings of my latest expedition to “The Bronx”, a fierce area of the former colonies known for its dangerous natives and fearsome music called “Hip-Hop”.
We made a quick passage from London. The schooner proved herself to be a good sea boat, and behaved admirably during some very heavy weather. No serious accident occurred.

Upon arrival we encountered a local who only answered to the name of SinSynn. We managed to find ways of communication, often involving hand gestures and the passing of money between hands.
Unusually, this particular gentleman seemed to be under the malediction of believing himself something akin to a giant squid, and regularly referenced non-existent limbs and tentacles.

In the interests of xenoarchaeology, we procured an interview of 50 questions with him, in exchange for twelve crates of brandy and thrupance. Please read the attached for your pleasure and interest in the case.

Yours sincerely

The Other Guy,

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Wednesday, October 5, 2011

HoP Idol: Hot Panda Interviews Dethtron

Yo Yo Yo everybody.  Today we've got Hot Panda interviewing me... or wait, who did you interview?  Yourself?  Way to follow directions señor panda.  Oh well, I know you were all dying to know about the troubled childhood moving from foster home to foster home boring middle class life that has led me to behave the way I do on the Internet, but that will have to wait for another day (or you can find Brent's interview of me for BoK from a while back).  Now I'm going to let this stand because it's funny to me and I really appreciate the schizophrenia inherent in blogging and so do I.

What is a HOTPanda - A rare bearlike mammal (Ailuropoda melanoleuca) of the mountains of China and Tibet, having woolly fur with distinctive black and white markings.  Also called giant panda, panda bear...Wait a minute that doesn't sound right...A HotPanda is by definition a rare blogger that dwells predominately in the forty first millennium.  It has a silly demeanor, with distinctive hate for DONUTs and a love for ROBOTS.  Today I am going to take you behind the mask that you all know as HotPanda and examining the inner working of a man long lost to the warp storms of Warhammer 40k.

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SinSynn and the Fluffy Hamster Argument

Hey Folks, SinSynn here.

So I couldn't sleep the other night (possibly due to that stupid Battlefield 3 Beta on X-Box Live, but, really...who can be sure? :P), and I decided to pull one of my old-school favorite booky-things off the shelf.

Dark Apostle, by Anthony Reynolds.

*Mmmm...delicious Chaos-y goodness*


It's the simply ghastly account of a member of the Word Bearers, who seeks to rise through the ranks of that infamous Chapter.
To say this book revels in hideousness is an understatement- there's bloodily described Human Sacrifice at every turn, major consorting with Daemons, and when you hear the Word Bearers reminisce about the way they ritually abused every living thing at a Sororitas Convent for weeks (including the Battle Sisters), you'll shiver at the pure evil....

I so goddam LOVE that book, and it's two sequels.
LOVE THEM!

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Tuesday, October 4, 2011

HoP Idol: Von Interviews Loquacious

Greetings everybody!  Today we've got a special idol treat as Von of Game Over interviews HoP's very first author (outside of Lauby and I), Loquacious.  Will we wonder whether women will write, waxing wittily with wonder, while we watch, weeping with .... shit, that's all I've got.  For those not in the know, Lo used to start all of her articles with a motherfucker alliteration, which I miss dearly.  Anyhow, here goes nothing...

Von:  Hey! Dethtron called (well, emailed) re: HoP Idol Thing. Apparently you and I have to have some sort of vaguely structured call-and-response discourse thing where you lie to me and I write down your lies. I think they call them 'interviews'?
Hope all's well in Gopherland!

Lo:  Gopherland is mostly wonderful now that TheDude has returned from his trip, but he brought me a cold as a gift. =/

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Non-Spam but Still competitive...Possible or Not?

Sometimes I get all retarded and accidentally post things early.  Sadly, Google isn't much into features that let you fix that.  SO, this is an actual GMort post even if it says 'Lauby.'

I find that comments to most of my more confrontational posts tend to be divided into two diametrically opposing views.

Either,

1) You are completely right*...

* Which is a perfectly reasonable viewpoint that requires little clarification.

Or,

You are completely wrong...

Unfortunately, it's very rare that anybody puts the depth of information into their dispute of my answer than I initially put into my defence of my viewpoint.

"I've seen millions of posts like this and their all wrong" is possibly the most pointless answer in the history of debate unless you explain why they/me are wrong!!!

So it looks like if there's going to be a decent counter to my 'Competitive is Fun' and 'Spam is the only way to go in 5th' arguments I'll have to come up with it myself.

Lets start with the easy ones ;-)

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Monday, October 3, 2011

HoP Idol: Lantz Interviews G Mort

First up this week we've got Lantz of Twin-Linked Awesome interviewing our very own G Mort.  Buckle in and let the good times roll.

We're getting down to the last few weeks of HOP Idol and somehow I'm still here. Either I'm just that damn good or I've spent my spare time paying off one of the authors of House of Paincakes via goods and services to keep myself in the ranks.
Make Your Choice As To Which Is True.


This week we were told to conduct an interview with one of HOP's authors and my draw from the hat was the one and only GMort. As many of you know (and if you don't, you should) GMort is quite the controversial writer from the UK. Bringing up many topics that never get spoken, and because they don't cause controversy. He's a contender in the 40k world of opinion pieces and continues to provide the masses with thought-provoking shock and awe. And I had to interview him...I'll admit I was a bit intimidated when I first got the assignment. So, who is GMort and how did he get involved in the world of Warhammer? Without further adieu, the interview:

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This Week On HoP Idol

Yes, the rumors are true, HoP Idol is back underway in ....oh... about an hour.  Now depending on when you read that last statement, the contest may be on in less than an hour or even have already begun, but from my perspective at this precise moment in time, we're at t-minus 1 hour. 



This week we'll be doing a little getting to know you for the HoP staff.  All of the HoP Idol finalists have been assigned a HoP regular author to interview.  Other than that, there were no limitations set, so we'll see what comes out.  Spoiler alert, one of the finalists didn't even follow those directions.  Tune in to find out who it was and what he did.  So if you've ever wanted to know more about Lauby, GMort, SinnSynn, Loquacious, or myself; this is going to be your week. 

Voting starts this Friday and will last a week.  During that week, all of the finalists will be on to tell you about how they got into gaming themselves in what was intended to be a Quickfire Challenge.  Since those have been cancelled, we're just bringing you the posts they already wrote for funsies.

See you back in an hour....or less....or more if you've mastered time travel or found some kind of inter-dimensional wormhole. 

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New Member Monday - Hair of the Future

Hey everyone and welcome to another exciting week at the House of Paincakes.  And I do mean exciting.

First up, we actually had a winning essay this week for today's New Member Monday.   So I won't be forced to find and old thing on the internet in an attempt to pad post length!

except for this.  But in all fairness, I just can;t stop laughing at the lazer-mullet
Second, the HoP Idol contest will be this (for sure, definitely) back.  I know, I know... i keep saying that.  But seriously, last week some writing and planning occurred (so I' wasn't technically wrong).  Plus, I've actually seen one of the new posts... in some form.

Right, Blog stuff.

New Member Monday

Warp-Lib
Keywords: Warhammer Fantasy, 40k, Orks,Mordheim, Daemons, Empire, Vampire Counts, Dwarfs, Painting, Buildings, savoir faire, pamplemousse, je ne sais quoi

Rust and the City
Keywords: 40k, terrain, deathsquads, death guard, orks, warriors of chaos, renegades, industrial

Incarias Speaks
Keywords: Warhammer, Warhammer 40k, Blood Bowl, WarmaHordes, rantettes (patent pending), overly literal rules interpretations and a general lack of focus

Wait.. waht's that?  Winning essay?!  Hell yeah.  This time from Incariss...  who's blog has his name in it so it seems redundant to mention it.  But it's that one right above.  See it?  Good.  Essay:


On the question as to why I’m God’s gift to the Internet, I’m an atheist. I do not, therefore believe there is a God whose gift to the Internet I could possibly be. I do, however, possess that fine combination of a degree in textual analysis and an obsessive mind. To offset this, I have the finely tuned and focused mind of an excessively caffeinated squirrel. I do therefore occasionally produce well-crafted, if overly literal, posts on various rules interpretations. At other times, I merely whine about superglue. I don’t know, it might amuse someone...

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Sunday, October 2, 2011

[Musings of a Game Store Owner] Beyond the Shelf

We run a retail business, with stock on the shelves and items ready to buy. Sometimes items are not on the shelves, but customers still want the missing item. That's when a special order is required. Special orders are our bread and butter, the way we earn our keep. We have 6 distributors available, with multiple warehouses all over the country. Our store works a lot of angles to keep good stuff coming in in an effort to keep our customers happy.



We usually do our ordering once a week, and have the majority of our stock arrive the day after ordering. For most special orders, a customer waits no more than 6 days for arrival; and most times just 2 or 3. That quick delivery is a huge selling point for people that are considering "going online"- we'll usually have their item to them faster than they can get it delivered from an online store.


It happens now and then that our distributors won't have an item a customer wants. When this happens, we pull out the big guns of customer service- we start hunting. We get on the phone with distributors and vendors, seeing if any are hiding in places that aren't readily noticeable. Then we start hitting the smaller guys, who don't always have volume discounts, but might have access to some more unusual stock items. When that doesn't work, we punt.

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