Funny Things


Friday, October 21, 2011

The Weekly Top X - Not Brent's Not X

Not Brent: So, I have to write an opening? 


 ...


 Not Brent: Anyone else really, really attracted to Lindsey Lohan lately?


Lauby:  Uuughgh.  I knew this was gonna be a mistake...

1) AJ's Gaming World - Hydra Gun shield Templates and tutorial part 1
 Lauby: Hey man, Flames of War is a 15mm game!  Wait, those are for 40k?  Fuckin' A.
 Not Brent: What’s that you’re drinking?

2) Rant in E Minor - Throne In E minor Report & Review
Not Brent: Ha! I loved this one!
Lauby: I think the most interesting thing about this whole Throne of Skulls bid'ness is that for all the complaining the 'super competative' crowd has done about the event, everyone who's gone has seemed to have an absolute bucket of fun.  From this report, you can really get the sense that Sorrowshard had a good as hell time.
Not Brent:  You’re missing the point - are you drunk on Bartles and James again? What have I told you about that? It’s just not cool... and you have to be cool and stay cool to play Robin to my Batman.
Lauby:  It's not B&J, it's sweet, delicious rum... and it's not 'again', it's "still'.  And why am I the sidekick and how the hell are you the goddamn Batman?  I always thought you were more on the supply side of blog crime.
Not Brent: Well, the Joker’s sidekick is a phone. No, man! Did you scope the last picture? There’s a dude who will help with my ultimate goal of Digital Domination!

Thursday, October 20, 2011

HoP Idol Round 4 Voting Live

That's right folks, it's time to pick the final 3 contestants who will be going on to the pyrotechnic-laced, star-studded finale spectacular round 5.  Oh what's that, we don't have a budget and this contest only exists in cyber space and none of that stuff is true except that round 5 will be the finale.  Well shiiiiit!

Even the poster for this film sucks


After another great week of articles, the choice for who our last contestants will be is up to you guys.  Make your decisions wisely and don't forget to vote for 3 contestants. 

Here are this week's entries, just to get them fresh in your mind again:

Von's Best of Boxtree Books

HotPanda's Termicide

Lantz's Fall of Damnos

The Other Guy's Two Strikes and Out

HoP Idol Round 4: Best of Boxtree Books

Last up for this round, we've got Von's article.


The Best of Boxtree Books

Back in the late 1980s, when times were hard and rules were harder, when Jervis Johnson had yet to invent the Grand Tournament and the Black Library was just a one-liner in the Eldar background, when bad puns and playful political jibes were the order of the day... back in them days, Games Workshop produced a line of Warhammer and Warhammer 40,000 tie-in novels.

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

HoP Idol Round 4: Termicide

Next up we have HotPanda's entry.



Termicide - The act of causing ones own death. Termicide is indirect, when one does not desire it as an end or a means.  When one nevertheless commits an act which courts death in the attempt to hand out death to ones foes, knowing that you yourself may well succumb to the same illness.



SinSynn's List Design for the Luckless


Hey folks, SinSynn here.

I suppose I'm just one of many gamers out there that has absolutely no luck, but sometimes it feels as though I've been singled out by the Dice Gods for some unknown transgression.

I have absolutely no idea what I did to earn their ire, but I definitely have.

It's so bad, I've given up trying to appease them, giving up begging and pleading and sacrificing...stuffs.
DON'T YOU JUDGE ME!
...it wuz just that one time...

*And it didn't work anyway*


So you know what?
I don't even care anymore.
Screw the Dice Gods.

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

What's 'Soft' Scoring Got To Do With Competition Anyway?

I acted as team photographer for a group of my friends at the Throne of Skulls tournament in Nottingham this weekend.

I mentioned it here and did an overview here.

There you go.....

Oh wait I probably had some kind of rant to do as well didn't I?


The scoring system was shockingly bad to the point of making me want to kick people in the head and then set them on fire....okay that might be an overreaction.....just the kick should be enough I suppose.....as long as it's to the groin area.....

So what was wrong with it then?

HoP Idol Round 4: Fall of Damnos

Here is our next entry from Lantz.

Book Review: Fall of Damnos Novel


As we push forward into the HOP Idol competition we were given the option for this week to write a book review on something game related. Luck would have it, I just finished a novel by Nick Kyme all about my favorite 40k race; Necrons. And, ya know, maybe there was some Imperial Guard, Space Marines and Adeptus Mechanicus in there, I wasn't really paying attention to what they were doing. Fall of Damnos paints a mural of a war-torn world infested with intelligent atomitons that wish to extract your soul from whatever hole they can find/create. Or just kill you, they're not picky.

Monday, October 17, 2011

New Member Monday Update

Looks like we missed one....from 2 weeks ago.  It's probably all my fault, but I'm going to blame the postman for losing the application.

Curse you you bastard postman!


So extreme apologies (on behalf of the postman, of course) go out to The Shell Case.  It's an awesome blog and there's some fun Necron rumors up there right now, so make sure to go check it out.

Hop Idol Round 4: Two Strikes and Out!

First up in the round we have The Other Guy's entry.


Two strikes and out!

Hello, greetings and other British versions of “Hi”. I’m The Other Guy, and today we are talking tactics. I’ve been very much enjoying the new Ogre Kingdoms army book, and will be journeying with you into my views on this book. Because I am rubbish at choosing internet photos to go with articles, you will be getting some of my personal (Work in Progress) Ogres to distract you from the text.

HoP Idol Round 4 Begins

The next and 2nd to last round of HoP Idol will be kicking off in just a little bit.  To prep you dear readers as to the nature and to give full disclosure on the directions given to the contestants here is the e-mail that was sent to all of them:

 

Moving forward all directions must be followed exactly by all contestants.  Failure to due so will require article revisions until it conforms.  If these are not submitted by the deadline, the article will not run, except in the case of prior approval due to extenuating circumstances.   I don't want to have to be a hardass about it, but the peanut gallery that is the Internet appears to require this of me.

Now for your next challenge (Due Sunday 10/16) you will have two sets of instructions to choose from:

  1. Write a book report on a gaming related novel.  This must be a work of fiction related to a gaming system (WFB, 40k, battletech, shadowrun, D&D, etc).  The book need not be currently in print and there is no page requirement and no further thematic restriction.  Any game system may be used.
  2. Tactical Tips- write about one (or more) hot tactical moves that you think readers may benefit from.  Feel free to write about anything from deploying certain armies to exploiting rules holes for dirty tricks.  Again, any game system is fair....game.  There is no word limit, but from a readers perspective, if you're over 7 or 8 pages in Word, it's probably too long. 
Then in response to a contestant question, I added the following (again provided to all contestants and within an hour of directions being issued):

addendum to #1- you may profile multiple works of a single author or series of books.

Posts start soon and voting will begin Thursday and run through next Tuesday.  I can't wait.

New Member Monday -

Ah yes, the season change.  You air conditioning bill goes down with an inverse relationship to how likely it is that you'll get sick.  Illness already having struck down Dethtron, may be coming for me.  I've got my OJ and a commitment to sleeping in, so watch out!  Nothing new or exciting to report his week.  Except for the usual new members. 

New Member Monday

White Noise UK
Keywords: Warhammer 40k, wargaming, rpging from the prospective of a 46 yearr and other entertaining stuff

BDS40k 
Keywords: 40k, old tymey models, retro stuff, self improvement, paint and modeling

The Marienburg Gazette
Keywords: Warhammer fantasy, Mordheim, Blood Bowl, WIPs

The Shell Case
Keywords: Warhammer Fantasy, 40k, Wargaming, Reviews, News, Hobby

No winning essay this week.  But here's this funny thing:

Sunday, October 16, 2011

HoP Idol (Not) Quickfire Challenge: Von

All right boys and ghouls, next up in the part of the contest that no longer has any bearing on voting, reality, or quasi-reality, we have the one and only Von from Game Over telling you about his gaming origin story.  Sadly, no radioactive spiders were involved.

I've told my origin story so many times that it's stopped being interesting.

via the Fighting Fantasy wiki, where someone can't spell 'dragon'

These days I tell people I got a paper cut from a radioactive copy of 'Master of Chaos', that Rick Priestly crashed his spaceship in my back garden and bestowed his powers upon me, that it's an ancient curse laid on the first-born son of my household - anything but telling the same non-story over and over and over again as if it actually matters.

[Musings of a Game Store Owner] Telling the Truth

The Dude and I share something in common that's pretty important to who we are as people. We're both disgustingly honest.


Most of the time, this honesty is a good thing. It's helped us build a reputation as being trustworthy and unlike used car weasels. Our customers come to us with the confidence that when they deal with us, we're not out to snow them just to make a sale, but that we legitimately have an interest in a relationship with them in mind. We do have varying degrees of how blunt we'll be with our honesty-TheDude has no filter, and says things just as they are very frequently. I'm blessed with far more tact and usually soften what I say to keep customers coming back and friendships intact, but I never hide the truth. 

HoP Idol (Not) Quickfire Challenge: Hot Panda

Well folks, dethtron is back and it appears that not even a suspected case of shigellosis (webMD it if you don't know it) can bring him down.  Now that I'm not having sweet fever dreams any more I'm back to finish up the sadly abandoned Quickfire Challenge project with this excellent entry on how the Hottest of Hot Pandas broke his gaming cherry.

Warhammer 40k: Losing my Virginity
The world of Warhammer 40k is a dark grim place.  It can corrupt the innocent in a heart beat and leaving them with craving for plastic crack.  Once you cross this line there is little hope for salvation. Not even god can save you.  I know all of this myself cause I am an addict and my first time playing Warhammer 40k is etched in my brain forever.