Important Stuff

Monday, December 26, 2011

New Member Monday - Presents of Mind

Hello and welcome to another week at the House of Paincakes!  I trust that if you're reading this, it means that you survived the first leg of the holiday season.  If not, then my condolences to you and your loved ones - but good on you for still being able to read!

Our posting schedule will still be a bit off until we get past new years and the annual "massive hangover we only sort of regret".  Lo drew the short straw this year with both Xmas and New Years falling on a Sunday, but she might just be able to bring in  the new year for us - providing that hangover preparations aren't too, too involved.

Also, you should be sure to check out the 12 Days of Fishmas and maybe leave some comments?  Think of it like a gift for us that doesn't cost any money - it's somewhere between the 'depressing circumstances of an O. Henry story' and 'macaroni art' on the gift scale.  But we'll take it just the same.  We're nothing if not gracious.

New Member Monday

Only one over the busy holiday season, so he's either dedicated to his hobbies or some sort of grotesque monster from a nightmare future where humans have thrown off the shackles of Xmas.  Either way, we're glad to have 'em.

Keywords: Warhammer 40k, sexy lingerie models. Only one of those is true.

There was no essay submitted, but we did find this on his blog:


The Second Day of Fishmas

 Lauby:  Ah yes.  Banding.  We were so totally into that for this set.  Some kind of hilarious nod to the card design of our youths.  
Uglyraincoat: Perhaps this would have gotten used if it was an enchantment, rather than an instant.  Or if it didn’t require only one type of creature.  Plus, I am allergic to this many cats.  
Dethtron:  I would maybe pay 0 mana to play this as an instant.  Seeing as to how the cost is 2, though, I can only wonder what the fuck we were thinking.  Oh and in the happenstance category, that ASPCA commercial with Sarah McLachlan and all of the sad cats and dogs (which mostly appear to just be cats and dogs about to sleep which are probably in fact happy and just sleepy rather than sad) is on as I write this, although this last sentence has run on a bit and the commercial is now long since over.


Sunday, December 25, 2011

The First Day of Fishmas

Uglyraincoat:  It is good sometimes not to know things.  For example: this is a real fish.  They are a freshwater species that can jump some 6 feet out of the water to catch food (including birds), earning them the moniker “water monkey.”  It reminds me a lot of other big blue creatures in its ability to gain flying, and it nails the true spirit of island magic way better than djinn’s and other such non-sense.  Give me a 4/4 flying fish, and you feed me for a long time.  That’s how it goes, right?  
Dethtron:  it makes me sad when pet stores sell these.  There’s no joke there.  Just knowing that most of these are bound for 10 or 20 gallon tanks just makes me sad.
Lauby:  My name is Lauby and I approve this card. First card of the series and I have nothing of value to add.  Nice. Dethtron: way to choose alphabetical order to all of us.


The Von Show Festive Special

It's, umm.  Special.


Saturday, December 24, 2011

The 12 Days of Fishmas - Day 0

A Holiday Message from D. Tron
Boys and ghouls do we ever have a treat for you this Christmas. Back in the annals of history the gang had an annual spring fishing trip known only as Fishmas. While this is sadly now a thing of the past, we thought we’d share a little Magic the Gathering set we created to commemorate 2007’s Fishmas the Gathering. The HoP’s Christmas gift to you all will be to reveal this set in all of it’s (non-) glory over the next 2 weeks in what we’re calling the “12 Days of Fishmas.”

Since I’ve gone on record making fun of various home-brewed units for 40k and WFB over the years, I think it’s only fitting to air some dirty laundry I was involved with. In that spirit, Lauby, our friend Ugly Raincoat, and I will be letting it all flap around in the breeze and hopefully giving you a season of mirth and joy to take part in.


Friday, December 23, 2011

The Weekly Top X - Is It Bold?

Well HELL yes it's bold!

1) Gone to GroundWarmachine the Way I See It: The Intro.
A  BOLD  new series for a BOLD game!  I know I'm looking forward to future installments.  It'll be like those "let's play X' threads you see on Something Awful - only I'll actually care about the game being discussed.

2) The Buddy Times SUPER! Dungeon Explore - Review, Part: the 2nd
We've seen some reviews of this game cropping up all over the place.  This one has the advantage of being pretty dang good (BOLD, even) and marks the return of the Buddy Times.

3) Blood of Kittens - Best of 2011
It's that time of year again!  And I ain't talking about X-mas, or having to pay property tax on your car if you live in Connecticut.  No sir!  It's time for the always awesome best of series that Monsignor Taste runs.  And let me tell you a secret - there are some BOLD choices in here.

4) 3 for Int450 points is apparently not my sweet spot
Dok made a BOLD choice of army lists for his FLGS'.  Perhaps a little too bold?  Nevermind, that's the dumbest thing I've said in a while.  Go read the article though, I'm not doing it justice.

5) The Realm of Dungeons and DragonsLord of the Rings Sucks
A spectacularly BOLD claim.  My socks were knocked clean off.  Not because I disagree with Doctor Warlock, but because somebody else shares my heretical beliefs (about the books, anyways).


Thursday, December 22, 2011

Gaming on a Budget: Gifts are Free

Yeah yeah yeah, there's no such thing as a free lunch and all that, but barring any emotional debt that your family and friends might put on you, the holidays are a great time to pad out your gaming collection for free- all you've got to do is let people know what you want.  And with Chanukah now underway, Christmas around the corner, Kwanza coming soon or having just happened (?), and your birthday coming up some time between now and this time next year it's never too early or too late to get your gift list out there.


Wednesday, December 21, 2011

40k vs. America- a Xenos Editorial by SinSynn

Hey folks, SinSynn here.

There are certain phrases that get bandied about in the 40k Community, and at this point they are quite annoying to me.
This one gets me every time:

'40k is a beer and pretzels game, it was never meant to be played competitively.'

Usually another favorite of mine can be found lurking in the same thread/post/comment section:

'You're ruining the game.'

Nowadays, I simply make this face -_- and see an internet meme in my head:

*Cuz one good cliche deserves another, right?*

Still, I keep reading these things. Why? Because, well....they amuse me.
I just love a bad argument, I suppose...


Tuesday, December 20, 2011

dethtron Messes up your Role-Playing Group but Good

Taking a big X-mas sized break from my usual fare, I'm going to talk to you all about role-playing today.  More specifically, I'm going to give you a list of the top 5 reasons I'm no longer allowed to be a player character.

You see, I generally am the one running the show as a DM, GM, or whatever.  I'll brag for a second and flat out say that I can weave a pretty good yarn and can keep a group of people on task, making me quite suited for this role.  Occassionally, though, somebody else wants to take the reigns and that's where things get a little weird.

In the past my behavior as a character in role-playing games has been checkered at best.  I've been known to participate in heroic acts of selfless sacrifice and engage in plans involving some real teamwork but if I'm being honest, more often than not I get bored off my ass and embark on plans and actions that can only be described as disruptive.

After the jump are the top 5 worst things I've ever done to a role-playing campaign.  I'd love to hear what the dumbest, most disruptive, most underhanded, etc thing you've ever done to a campaign is, so please leave a comment.


Monday, December 19, 2011

The Von Show #5 - The Social Dimension

A big HoP sized apology to all of the Von Show fans.  We totally forgot to post this on Saturday, so please to be enjoying episode five today.

Before we begin: I am not actually as fat as my slouchy couch and the ruddy camera make me appear to be in this video.  I am slightly potbellied, all right?

Rah rah, script after the cut, you know how it is.






OK, I'M DONE SHOUTING NOW.  IT'S OUT of my system.  So I'll continue on in a more restrained fashion as not to completely upset the monocles of our British readers.

Honour the Vanquished 
Keywords: super newness, editorials, theory, some kind of Irish/Clampet hybrid

Noeste's Painting and Modelling 
Keywords: Warhammer Fantasy (mainly, but some bits of 40k, aquarelle-painting and other bits and pieces sneak in through the backdoor from time to time..)

No winning essay today...  so here's some traditional funny stuff to pass the time between this post and the Von Show.


Sunday, December 18, 2011

For Holy Terra Contest!

By Odin's beard have we got a doozy of a contest to share with you from one of our member sites. 

Paul (if that is indeed his real name) over at For Holy Terra is holding a reverse painting contest. 

While perhaps not exciting in the same way as a reverse cowgirl contest, this one still looks like a great time.  In the spirit of the season Paul is giving away a Space Marine Battleforce on his dime.  All you need to do is design a new chapter complete with heraldry, a color scheme, and back story (well and maybe a few other things that I've forgotten) and you're in the running.  3 lucky winners will receive fully assembled models from the set done up in your chosen color scheme.  How awesome is that?

For full details, but less needless sexual innuendo check out the contest specifics on For Holy Terra.

Now hurry up and make your chapter.  The deadline is nigh'.


[Musings of a Game Store Owner] Intelligent Design: Art (Part 1)

Last week, I started a series on Intelligent Design in gaming. 

I identified elements that seem to be common among gamers- including our first subject: Art. 

Art is the product or process of deliberately arranging items (often with symbolic significance) in a way that influences and affects one or more of the sensesemotions, and intellect.- 

I find this particular way of expressing art as exceptionally helpful. It gives us a good framework and common ground for understanding- and to me, that's pretty important, because art is resoundingly subjective.

When discussing intelligent design, being consistent and using the same terms throughout the conversation makes reaching a conclusion much easier. The above definition invokes the same premises I mentioned as critical parts of an intelligently made game: one that appeals to us through our senses (art), affects emotions (emotional connection), and touches on our higher level thinking (intellect). That art understands all of this as its own premise brings my ramblings to their knees, yet at the same time confirms my thoughts all along. 

So in discussing art, there are individual parts to the whole. I've found that while other factors matter, as a rule, there are 3 main points to consider when talking about art in games. 


Friday, December 16, 2011

The Weekly To X - PROVOCATIVE TITLE: Genitals and Booze

Last week I finally figured out exactly what kind of title will draw the most people into a Top X.  I've tried jokes, strange literary references, making fun of Brent - to name a few.  But it turns out that you're all a bunch of damn drunks!

This week I'm combining in a new idea.  Or at least introducing it slowly.  

If you've made it this far, then I'm sorry to say that alcohol and naughty bits DO NOT play a pivitol role in this week's post.  It's a clever ruse, you see.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, " I don't feel bad"
But I probably should be careful.  If I cry wolf too many times, It'll all come crashing down. 


Thursday, December 15, 2011

Gaming on a Budget: The Crawnmower

The week of me discussing my the folder full of Magic the Gathering decklists I recently found on my lost flash drive from 2006 continues.  This time I'll be putting the Gaming on a Budget spin on it.

Oddly enough, this entire article was written over 5 years ago in its entirety (intro and minor editing notwithstanding), proving that a) mid-twenties dethtron is pretty much as big of an asshole as early thirties dethtron and b) I was a stingy miser even when I had a decent job.  


Wednesday, December 14, 2011

User Content Wednesday - Welcome to Malifaux: A 40k defectors guide

A looooong time ago, 40k for the New Professional had a different URL.  There was lots of great content including a very cool series about the interchange of ideas between IRL and the games we play.  Then Google ate everything without any explanation and he was never able to retrieve it.   It was a pretty sad day.  The House of Paincakes flag was flown at half mast.  But not the US flag since that'd be a little extreme.

Anyway, as you can imagine the wind kind of left the Kennedy's sails even with the registration of a new domain and for a fresh start.  What follows was always one of my favorite posts that was miraculously saved by Google Reader.  I hope re-posting this article, in some small way, puts some of the aforementioned wind back in the aforementioned sails of the aforementioned Kennedy.

Note:  Kennedy, I have a ton of your old stuff bunged away, so let me klnow if you need it.

So, a comment by SinSynn really sparked the idea for this post. After reading his comment about how he might "defect" partially, I had the thought that there are probably loads of you out there who might really like some information about how to actually start up in Malifaux. There's some stuff about it out there, but nothing terribly cohesive. Thus, I have taken it upon myself to write up something that might approach a guide to Malifaux.

I'll be starting really basic and moving forward from there, so feel free to skip ahead when you read something you already know.

An obvious first place to start is the basic premise. Malifaux is set in a steam punk wild west horror setting. Yeah, sounds weird at first, but it all fits, bizarre as that sounds. The game uses cards instead of dice to determine the effects. Typically, you engage in duels, where one of your piece's characteristics + the value of a card flip is pitted against one of your opponent's piece's characteristics + the value of a card flip. The difference in the result determines your victory (and the degree of success).


SinSynn: Totally a Fanboi

Hey folks, SinSynn here.

So when it comes to like, 'popular culture,' I'm probably not the most tolerant of Xenos.
I pretty much universally hate everything, for no good reason.
Whatever it is that the Normals are discussing around their water coolers, I'm usually dead set against it.

*Dancing With the Stars is amazing, but not as good as America's Got Talent!*

Like many discerning aliens, I'm a being of more refined tastes.


Tuesday, December 13, 2011

The Angel of Discard

Next on the tour of MtG decks  that I randomly found on a flash drive I lost in 2006 is a little gem I've named "The Angel of Discard."  It, like most of my other decks, is built on a delightfully shaky premise guaranteed to frustrate opponents and put you on the list of people not to play against- well, if it works anyway.

Ok, so I like really obnoxious decks.  This shouldn't be a shocker, so sue me.  I tend to favor lots of dispel and thus gravitate towards Blue and Black .  During Ravnica block, though, I got seriously into discard and the horrifying possibilities of card advantage.  Trading a card for a card to dispel is all well and good, but ensuring that your opponent is losing even the possibility of casting that card is even better.  This all propelled me toward the twisted world of this Black and White Deck seen after the jump.


Tournaments - The Bad Side......

When I talk about tournaments to people who don't go to them I quite often get the same two statements thrown at me.....

1) I only play for fun


2) I had a bad experience at 'insert name here' and It put me off.

The first one I'm going to completely ignore as I actually enjoy playing competitively so am most likely going to be having fun anyway.....however the second statement deserves some consideration.....

First we need to be honest with ourselves. Any event where a number of people are endeavouring to prove themselves superior to another group of people is going to attract the odd fuckwit. There are many people who validate themselves based on making other people miserable or who's sense of self worth is directly proportional to their own successes regardless of if these are at the expense of others.....if this wasn't true then there would never be anybody who wanted to go into politics or become a traffic warden.....


Monday, December 12, 2011

New Member Monday - Reading and Weeding

We've got a bit of a mixed bag this Monday - Sure we've got a new blog on the rolls, but we've also lost a few.

First up, our New Member:

GopherDave Abides... 
Keywords: Running a Game Store, Mostly pictures... with occasional words and deep thoughts...

For those of you who have been following Lo's weekly series, this is THE Dude she mentions all the time.  I think they're married or something...   If you've ever wanted some more insight into Lo's Musings of a Game Store owner, GopherDave's blog is the place to go.

Ok, that's the good news.  Now here's the inexorable and unyielding bad news.  We had to cut a few blogs from the rolls.


Sunday, December 11, 2011

dethtron Gathers All Your Magic, Sucks

I quit playing Magic the Gathering in about 2007 prior to Lauby and another friend of ours, representing the sum total of people I enjoyed playing MtG with, moved from the central coast to the east coast.  Given the local scene at the time here in Chicago, I simply couldn't deal with driving to my preferred in Niles to play against strangers whom I would most likely not enjoy being around.  Don't feel too bad for me, though, I went on to sell most of my collection and contribute significantly to the down payment on my house.

2006-7 also coincides with the loss of my trust Geek Squad flash drive, recently rediscovered in a random box of shit in my attic!  What was on that drive.  Well beyond a backup of some papers I wrote as in undergrad in the late 90's it had a folder with a few decklists that I was trying out during the Ravnica and Time Spiral blocks.  Some of my favorites from the time aren't in that folder.  It looks like I only had them in analog or apprentice form and lost those years ago.  I'll be sharing some of those amazingly terrible/insane decks with you all this week.  The fun never stops here at the HoP.


[Musings of a Game Store Owner] Introduction to Intelligent Design

Oh, that game is really great. I love it!

What makes it great?

And thus begins the trial and tribulation of my job, almost daily. Having knowledge and experience in a wide variety of games is an essential skill, but discussing them intelligently and with wisdom and forethought is even more important.


Saturday, December 10, 2011

The Von Show #4: Finding the RP in MMORPG



Friday, December 9, 2011

The Weekly Top X - TEQUILA!

All right ladies and gentlemen, we're back with the Top X!  No tricks, not crazy gimmicks.  Just good old fashioned promotion of knowledge and art. Well not completely...  I've got it in my head that 'Tequila' is a good metaphor for to hang this post on.  Think of me as a kind of gringo jimador.

First, something of interest by way of Auberoun over at the Digital Waaagh.  This is our traditional salt.  Which is not say that it is course or angry at some embarrassment.  No, no, no.  Auberoun's contest is being announced here to enhance the flavor of the cactus juice we are about to consume.  Right, the Digital Waaagh needs a new banner and a post title and if you have what it takes to do either of these you could win some commission painting. Details here.


Thursday, December 8, 2011

Gaming on a Budget: Mega Savings

Having set out on the quest of proving that the short run holiday Megaforces and Army Boxes released last weekend from GW definitively prove that GW's sales of WFB are very slack compared to those of 40K for my blog Dick Move, I whipped up some quick charts on their pricing.  The proof would be simple.  All I'd need to do is show that the discount % for the WFB boxes was far greater than the 40k ones and that would be the end of that.  Unfortunately, that's not how shit shook out at all.  You'll see below that the discounts versus retail price are nearly the same across all of the boxes- running an average, median, and mode discount of 35%.  Seems GW put some serious thought into the pricing, if not playability, of these sets.

Well, there goes the entire premise for an article.  With my chart already Exceled up and ready to go, I thought this was the perfect opportunity to talk about my other favorite subject (my favorite subject being acting like a dickhead)- saving money.


Wednesday, December 7, 2011

SinSynn: This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things!

Hey, folks, SinSynn here.

I was doing a lil' cleaning and organizing this past week, and I came across my old 40k 'army list book.'
Does anybody else have one of these things?
It's like, a completely innocuous school-kid 'marble pattern' thingy, exactly like this:

*Contains Phases 1 through 25 of my plan to conquer the....never mind, moving on*

I have several of these books, one for my Tau, one for the 'Nids, and even one for Flames of War now.


Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Torrent of Fire Vs. Fists of Fury

After my brief break last week in that extremely poorly constructed dungeon I'm refreshed and raring to annoy go.

Lets get straight to it then,

Can a pure 'foot and/or 'assault' army compete in the current world of shooty bang bang death that is 5th?

I'm a big fan of martial arts but lets be honest no matter how cool this guy is.....

This little girl could take him as long as they started more than a few metres apart.....


Monday, December 5, 2011

Dateline HoP: Things You Should be Aware of

We like it when people ask us to help promote their own efforts.  It's fun, it gives us a feeling of satisfaction and it's a key part of our whole deal here.  So here are three such projects people want you to be aware of.

(Though apologies upfront to the people who asked us to do this.  You see, with last week's deadly struggle against our negaverse bizarro selves we weren't able to post these bits of news in a place that would make sense or at the very least get enough attention. It also doesn't help that our bizarro doppelgangers aren't all that helpful - it's like they're opposites or something...)

No matter the universe: Spock is awesome
1) Bad Journalism:  the Antipope has run into a nasty piece of yellow journalism in his country of origin and would very much like to draw people's attention to the fact that it's being claimed that the Greek Warhammer 40k scene is a hotbed of fascism.  It's worth your time to head over there and check out the details.   There's even a way for you to help out.

2) Charity Army Project:  Speaking of helping out.  Some buddies from the Relicnews Forums have gotten together and built a pretty fantastic Blood Ravens army for a raffle to raise some money for charity.  Bidding is now live and all the proceeds go Child's Play. Full details of the drawing can be found here and be sure to check out the rest of the blog for more information on just about any question you may have about the endeavor.

3) The Lord Inquisitor - A few of our readers felt that we needed to help make people aware of the fact that there a new 40k CGI movie in the works.  Ah ha, but there are some key differences.
  1. It's fan made
  2. It doesn't look like shit
  3. Explosions
For more info and a peek at the trailer, go here.


New Member Monday - Regularly Scheduled Programming

It took some doing, but last Saturday we finally managed to force our evil (or more evil) doppelgangers back through the fiery portal from which the came.  There was trickery and even a spot of the ultra-violence but after it was all said and done, nobody died and Dethtron was the only one who had to have sex with their own bizarro self.  We will be fielding no questions on any part of the ordeal.

I went with this image because google images in
safe mode wasn't all that safe today.  I was afraid to go on.
So thanks to everyone for reading and we now return you to our regularly scheduled...

New Member Monday

Warhammer in Progress
Keywords: Two flavors of Warhammer, conversions, stompy robot related things, WIPs

On the Blob
Keywords: Warhammer 40k, Imperial guard, blob guard (A blog about guard, mainly blob guard but with some odd posts about marines, and mech guard thrown in, A Boy and His Blob.

Keywords: Warhammer Fantasy, 40k, other minis, books, Spanish Language


Sunday, December 4, 2011

[Musings of a Game Store Owner] Division of Labor

The division of labor at our store is pretty lopsided. TheDude does all the frontline work-he's the manager, the sales man, the customer service representative, the purchasing agent, the shipping/receiving clerk, the sales analyst and the janitor all wrapped into one bundle.

I work a day job. 


Friday, December 2, 2011

The Weekly Top X: In the Grim Future of Next Friday, There is Only Ian Watson

Not Brent: Who’s this dude with the monocle? Where’s Lauby?

Von: Come with me now, on a journey through time and space! Through the uttermost bleakness of the night eternal that lies betwixt the joyless stars we’re bound, this thin shell of silicon and plastic around us creaking and cracking, bashed by cosmic waves. The light of the Astronomican falls behind us. We pass outside the Imperium we know, into formless void that knows not the tread of Man. Within this ancient gloom lies hallowed and unbidden knowledge predating the Emperor, the Age of Strife, the lights of reason and of faith. Within these quaint and curious volumes of forgotten lore, we find...

Not Brent: Lauby! LAUBY!

Von: … Imperitas Lux! A voice out of the aether? Am I beset? Is this possession? Should I simply set my weapon to my head, and trust the blessed psybolts to scour this foulness from my mind... or can I learn from these atrocity that bedevils me? Yes. Yes... I think I shall let the daemon incarnate itself for now. Perhaps it will spout truths, reveal knowledge, or grant delights? What say you, warp-spawn? No lies!

Not Brent: Yes, yes you should.

Not Brent: Set your weapon right there - and don’t forget the safety.

Not Brent: Creep. Scour me, will you?

Not Brent: Where’s Lauby and why am I being punished?


Bizarro Week is Still On

This was supposed to be a reminder, callously calling out the barely literate members of the audience  who have yet to notice that we're in the middle of a theme week at the HoP, but then I remembered that bizarro dethtron is nice, so instead here's a picture of a puppy in a snail shell:

But on a serious note, Bizarro Week, where alternate, opposite doppelgaenger versions of the HoP writing staff take over is still going on through Saturday.  And it's going swimmingly if I must say so.


Thursday, December 1, 2011

Gaming Without a Budget - Lauby's Malifaux Table

Hello and welcome to another installment on how to lord your disposable income over poor neck-beards.  Today we're going to be spending way more money than we need to with just a touch of a  "This Old House" vibe.

Let's get to it.

Special Lady Friend and I recently started up Malifaux and we're having a grand old time at it.  But after a few test games it became apparent that we were in dire need of a gaming surface. Now, most people's first thoughts on this topic would be on how this could be done cheaply.  Screw that noise! Lets spend some goddamn money and do this up proper!"

With all that in mind, I set out to plan and build a 3'x3' gaming surface that I could potentially shelter under in the event of an earthquake.

Shelter more like the girl in front, not those idiots in back.
Step zero (as I am now, as snootily as possible, calling it) was research.  I've not made a lot of gaming surfaces as I've never needed them in my own home. Or at least not ones with grass on them. So there were some questions I needed answered so that spending a lot of money didn't become wasting a lot of money (remember, spending money with nothing to show for it = bad). Thankfully, I had some articles on the Good Robot Us's site to work from.

A Mr. D. Tron has made a much more frugal effort to make a gaming table and I will be using this as a guide for technique if not cost. And, seriously, go read those two posts because I am going to be making a ton of references to them.


Wednesday, November 30, 2011

SinSynn gets Bizarro: The Hamster's REVENGE!

Guess what?
SinSynn couldn't make it here today.
That's right, suckas....
'Pink isn't well, he's back at the hotel.'

Instead, you'll be dealing with me.
....the hamster in his head.
And yes, I totally just hit you with a Pink Floyd reference.

*Let's party...Bizarro style*


Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Rants from an angry woman

ahem... is this thing on?

Good. 'Cause I'm only saying this once.


The World of Fluff with GMort the Cheerful.....

Somewhere in the dungeons below a generic evil fortress.....

" The prisoner is secure?"
" Yes my Lord, though I don't see why you didn't just drop him in some lava or feed him to the Clawbeasts like normal....."
" We may need him later.....and what could be worse torture for him than seeing the fluff filled article were going to write on his behalf using the evil clone?"
" I'm pretty sure being incinerated or eaten alive would be worse.....and besides which if the clone's writing a fluffy article doesn't that make him a good clone and the original evil?"
" Silence!!!!! If you knew anything about being an arch enemy then you wouldn't be in the generic henchman outfit.....though you may have a point about the 'evil' bit..... "
" Fair enough dread overlord......but how did you break into his blogger account "
" His password was 'Fuck'....."
" Oh... "
" and he's DEFINITELY secure? "
" Yes."
" you used one of the cells without a rusty lock, no key hidden behind a false brick, easily activated escape route or gullible guard? "
" Of course "
" That's all right then "
" hang-on.....did you just say without......"

Hello everyone, and an extra special hello to Gav Thorpe for his wonderful work on the Chaos Space Marine Codex and a big thank-you to Matt Ward for his incredibly well thought out background material.....

Kaldor Draigo....what a great guy.


Monday, November 28, 2011

New Member Monday - Bizarro! and Badgers!

Hey Kids!  Don't forget that it's Bizarro week here.  I mean, seriously.  DON'T FORGET!  Eh.. you're not gonna forget.  You guys are smart. AND handsome.


Sunday, November 27, 2011

Musings of a Game Store Patron [Customer's Bill of Rights]

When we decided that we were doing this whole bizarro week thing, I knew right away that I wanted to write Loquacious' normal column from the customer perspective.  Luckily, when drawing straws to see who got what, the sheer force of my personality saw to it that random chance and fate were on my side and I would indeed get the opportunity to do this.  Well, either that or I bullied my way into it since I sort of co-run this blog thing here.  We'll leave it up to history to decide that one.

dethtron, artists interpretation


Bizarro Week at the HoP

You kids ready to get freaky?  Good, because it's Bizarro Week here at the HoP.

But what the shit is Bizarro Week?  It's simple really.  All you need is an advanced degree in theoretical physics and an intimate understanding of how string theory allows for the possibility of parallel universes to understand.