Funny Things


Friday, December 2, 2011

The Weekly Top X: In the Grim Future of Next Friday, There is Only Ian Watson

Not Brent: Who’s this dude with the monocle? Where’s Lauby?

Von: Come with me now, on a journey through time and space! Through the uttermost bleakness of the night eternal that lies betwixt the joyless stars we’re bound, this thin shell of silicon and plastic around us creaking and cracking, bashed by cosmic waves. The light of the Astronomican falls behind us. We pass outside the Imperium we know, into formless void that knows not the tread of Man. Within this ancient gloom lies hallowed and unbidden knowledge predating the Emperor, the Age of Strife, the lights of reason and of faith. Within these quaint and curious volumes of forgotten lore, we find...


Not Brent: Lauby! LAUBY!

Von: … Imperitas Lux! A voice out of the aether? Am I beset? Is this possession? Should I simply set my weapon to my head, and trust the blessed psybolts to scour this foulness from my mind... or can I learn from these atrocity that bedevils me? Yes. Yes... I think I shall let the daemon incarnate itself for now. Perhaps it will spout truths, reveal knowledge, or grant delights? What say you, warp-spawn? No lies!

Not Brent: Yes, yes you should.

Not Brent: Set your weapon right there - and don’t forget the safety.


Not Brent: Creep. Scour me, will you?

Not Brent: Where’s Lauby and why am I being punished?

Bizarro Week is Still On

This was supposed to be a reminder, callously calling out the barely literate members of the audience  who have yet to notice that we're in the middle of a theme week at the HoP, but then I remembered that bizarro dethtron is nice, so instead here's a picture of a puppy in a snail shell:



But on a serious note, Bizarro Week, where alternate, opposite doppelgaenger versions of the HoP writing staff take over is still going on through Saturday.  And it's going swimmingly if I must say so.


Thursday, December 1, 2011

Gaming Without a Budget - Lauby's Malifaux Table

Hello and welcome to another installment on how to lord your disposable income over poor neck-beards.  Today we're going to be spending way more money than we need to with just a touch of a  "This Old House" vibe.

Let's get to it.

Special Lady Friend and I recently started up Malifaux and we're having a grand old time at it.  But after a few test games it became apparent that we were in dire need of a gaming surface. Now, most people's first thoughts on this topic would be on how this could be done cheaply.  Screw that noise! Lets spend some goddamn money and do this up proper!"

With all that in mind, I set out to plan and build a 3'x3' gaming surface that I could potentially shelter under in the event of an earthquake.

Shelter more like the girl in front, not those idiots in back.
Step zero (as I am now, as snootily as possible, calling it) was research.  I've not made a lot of gaming surfaces as I've never needed them in my own home. Or at least not ones with grass on them. So there were some questions I needed answered so that spending a lot of money didn't become wasting a lot of money (remember, spending money with nothing to show for it = bad). Thankfully, I had some articles on the Good Robot Us's site to work from.

STATION!
A Mr. D. Tron has made a much more frugal effort to make a gaming table and I will be using this as a guide for technique if not cost. And, seriously, go read those two posts because I am going to be making a ton of references to them.

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

SinSynn gets Bizarro: The Hamster's REVENGE!

Guess what?
SinSynn couldn't make it here today.
That's right, suckas....
'Pink isn't well, he's back at the hotel.'

Instead, you'll be dealing with me.
....the hamster in his head.
And yes, I totally just hit you with a Pink Floyd reference.

*Let's party...Bizarro style*



Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Rants from an angry woman

ahem... is this thing on?


Good. 'Cause I'm only saying this once.

The World of Fluff with GMort the Cheerful.....

Somewhere in the dungeons below a generic evil fortress.....


" The prisoner is secure?"
" Yes my Lord, though I don't see why you didn't just drop him in some lava or feed him to the Clawbeasts like normal....."
" We may need him later.....and what could be worse torture for him than seeing the fluff filled article were going to write on his behalf using the evil clone?"
" I'm pretty sure being incinerated or eaten alive would be worse.....and besides which if the clone's writing a fluffy article doesn't that make him a good clone and the original evil?"
" Silence!!!!! If you knew anything about being an arch enemy then you wouldn't be in the generic henchman outfit.....though you may have a point about the 'evil' bit..... "
" Fair enough dread overlord......but how did you break into his blogger account "
" His password was 'Fuck'....."
" Oh... "
" and he's DEFINITELY secure? "
" Yes."
" you used one of the cells without a rusty lock, no key hidden behind a false brick, easily activated escape route or gullible guard? "
" Of course "
" That's all right then "
" hang-on.....did you just say without......"

Hello everyone, and an extra special hello to Gav Thorpe for his wonderful work on the Chaos Space Marine Codex and a big thank-you to Matt Ward for his incredibly well thought out background material.....

Kaldor Draigo....what a great guy.

Monday, November 28, 2011

New Member Monday - Bizarro! and Badgers!

Hey Kids!  Don't forget that it's Bizarro week here.  I mean, seriously.  DON'T FORGET!  Eh.. you're not gonna forget.  You guys are smart. AND handsome.







Sunday, November 27, 2011

Musings of a Game Store Patron [Customer's Bill of Rights]

When we decided that we were doing this whole bizarro week thing, I knew right away that I wanted to write Loquacious' normal column from the customer perspective.  Luckily, when drawing straws to see who got what, the sheer force of my personality saw to it that random chance and fate were on my side and I would indeed get the opportunity to do this.  Well, either that or I bullied my way into it since I sort of co-run this blog thing here.  We'll leave it up to history to decide that one.

dethtron, artists interpretation

Bizarro Week at the HoP

You kids ready to get freaky?  Good, because it's Bizarro Week here at the HoP.



But what the shit is Bizarro Week?  It's simple really.  All you need is an advanced degree in theoretical physics and an intimate understanding of how string theory allows for the possibility of parallel universes to understand.