The Seventh Day of Fishmas

dethtron:  even if this has nothing to do with Fishmas, this card with its super convoluted rules will always have a special place in my heart.

Lauby:  Mine too.  It’s not just the fact that we created a card just to justify our use of the banding mechanic, but the fact that we forgot to write ‘legendary’ on the card type.  An amazing fact that we didn’t realize it until there were two Jesuses on the table and we tried to call someone out on it.  
dethtron:  idea for Fishmas the Gathering II- Doppel Jesus!
Uglyraincoat: Jesus Flash Dancing Christ
Lauby:  Jesus II: Jesusment Day, the Final Jesussing
dethtron:  Jesus Tap Dancing Christ II: the Softshoeing

The Sixth Day of Fishmas

dethtron:  finally, a card truly worthy of a trip to the hospital.

Lauby:  I’m going to go on record as saying that this is our best designed card.  It’s super aggressive but with just enough of a draw back to really make using it a risk.  A risk that Bernie was ALWAYS willing to take despite the fact that it was constantly being burned off the table as soon as it hit.  Which is a good way to run up an eight drink deficit over the course of a couple of hours with no tangible benefit.
Uglyraincoat: Sometimes learning is difficult... like when you’re drunk from playing George Thorogood on each of your first two turns.  It was a bit like watching a cow learn about electric fences.  
dethtron:  awesomeness of this card not withstanding, I just want to declare my undying hatred for the actual George Thorogood publicly.
Lauby: I’m going to have to reevaluate our friendship.

The Weekly Top X- As the Xenos Turns

Lauby leaves the HOP control room to take care of some personal business... and the cameras

shift to what appears to be a set of a dungeon, almost like a television show....but not quite. 

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hearing the door to his cell open, the tiny Xeno hung his head. 

They were coming to beat him again, surely.

He had stopped resisting after the first few times...what was the point?  

His hubris had bought him here...his pride...

More than anything else, it was his opinions that led him to this shameful end.

He had entered the battles pure of purpose, his goal a singular point of light he tread steadily towards.

...To stand before the Queen of the Universe, triumphant.

Where did it go wrong?

The Fifth Day of Fishmas

Lauby:  see... this is the thing that really irritated me about the whole Bill-bo Shaggins incident.  Bill already had a damn card!  It just didn’t have his name on it.

Uglyraincoat: Yeah, but it doesn’t capture the essence of Bill, even if he looks cool.  Which brings us to our next card, the source of the conflict:

The Fourth Day of Fishmas

dethtron:  Ok, I know I don’t like being photographed (due to my Amish heritage), but was there not a picture where my jeans and sweater don’t look like the same color?
Lauby:  Oh no!  Your secret identity!  Now everyone will know what you looked like 6 years ago.  And that you were a boring corporate drone.  Actually, yeah... sorry about that.
dethtron:  Well this isn’t exactly the first time my secret identity has been revealed on the blogosphere.  The important thing is that nobody ever figures out that dethtron’s alter ego is Anal_Parsons_Project... oh shit.Uglyraincoat: I think the matching ensemble effect is quite flattering.
dethtron:  well thanks.  In honesty, though, that sweater didn’t exactly match those jeans until photoshop happened.  Fashion tips aside, when it came to designing my own avatar it pretty much had to be a joke about me not being able to find my way out of retail management.  For the record, six years later I’m stuck back in again.Uglyraincoat: Tapped?

SinSynn: On Comp and Why Everything Needs NOVA...

Hey folks, SinSynn here.

Hey, did you ever get all psyched up to play a game of...whatever, and after you deployed all of yer lil' troopie guys and whatnot you looked over the table and you thought to yerself, "Meself, there is no way in hell I can win this game."
....and then you get pounded into lil' red meaty chunks for the next hour or so?

Did you ever have this happen at a Tournament?

Whether it was a bad mission or matchup, or a bad table, or whatever, sometimes it seems that you just....lost that game, somehow...before it ever got started.
You knew it, too. Going in.
It happens, doesn't it?

*All he does is roll sixes!*

Let's work under the assumption that your army list is a good one, so we can eliminate that as an issue.
Somehow, you just caught the short straw, and wound up with that one 'perfect storm' of coincidences that led to this situation, and...you're screwed.
That opponent you didn't want to see, on a table that totally works against you, in the one mission your army struggles with.
-BOOM!- There you are....
...sigh.

The Third Day of Fishmas

 Lauby: I had a lot of fun making the art on this one.  Googling for images of people on fire was a rate treat.  

Uglyraincoat: The elemental’s portly shape is pleasant, accentuated by his can-do body language.  Additionally, the upkeep cost is the single most poetic use of a game mechanic to represent life that I’ve ever seen.  If you don’t tend your elemental it will slowly burn out.  
dethtron:  campfire elemental demands a burnt offering.  Almost feel like it should have been a G for upkeep though, representing wood and all that.
Uglyraincoat: I like it.  Plus, forests are only about $3 per bundle.  
Lauby:  So long as there aren’t any Spotted Owls in them.

Change - Not Always For the Better...

So then...soon we'll be switching from one year to another, new years resolutions will be made and then broken almost instantly and a good few people will be using this 'landmark' as motivation for a change.

Of course there's always people with the opposite view-point that say that change is a bad thing. They do have a point...

But as this is a war-games site rather than a place to go to laugh at celebrities that have got fat (that's just a bonus) let's look at change in 40K...

New Member Monday - Presents of Mind

Hello and welcome to another week at the House of Paincakes!  I trust that if you're reading this, it means that you survived the first leg of the holiday season.  If not, then my condolences to you and your loved ones - but good on you for still being able to read!

Our posting schedule will still be a bit off until we get past new years and the annual "massive hangover we only sort of regret".  Lo drew the short straw this year with both Xmas and New Years falling on a Sunday, but she might just be able to bring in  the new year for us - providing that hangover preparations aren't too, too involved.

Also, you should be sure to check out the 12 Days of Fishmas and maybe leave some comments?  Think of it like a gift for us that doesn't cost any money - it's somewhere between the 'depressing circumstances of an O. Henry story' and 'macaroni art' on the gift scale.  But we'll take it just the same.  We're nothing if not gracious.

New Member Monday

Only one over the busy holiday season, so he's either dedicated to his hobbies or some sort of grotesque monster from a nightmare future where humans have thrown off the shackles of Xmas.  Either way, we're glad to have 'em.

WAAAGH! Aki
Keywords: Warhammer 40k, sexy lingerie models. Only one of those is true.

There was no essay submitted, but we did find this on his blog:

The Second Day of Fishmas

 Lauby:  Ah yes.  Banding.  We were so totally into that for this set.  Some kind of hilarious nod to the card design of our youths.  

Uglyraincoat: Perhaps this would have gotten used if it was an enchantment, rather than an instant.  Or if it didn’t require only one type of creature.  Plus, I am allergic to this many cats.  
Dethtron:  I would maybe pay 0 mana to play this as an instant.  Seeing as to how the cost is 2, though, I can only wonder what the fuck we were thinking.  Oh and in the happenstance category, that ASPCA commercial with Sarah McLachlan and all of the sad cats and dogs (which mostly appear to just be cats and dogs about to sleep which are probably in fact happy and just sleepy rather than sad) is on as I write this, although this last sentence has run on a bit and the commercial is now long since over.

The First Day of Fishmas

Uglyraincoat:  It is good sometimes not to know things.  For example: this is a real fish.  They are a freshwater species that can jump some 6 feet out of the water to catch food (including birds), earning them the moniker “water monkey.”  It reminds me a lot of other big blue creatures in its ability to gain flying, and it nails the true spirit of island magic way better than djinn’s and other such non-sense.  Give me a 4/4 flying fish, and you feed me for a long time.  That’s how it goes, right?  

Dethtron:  it makes me sad when pet stores sell these.  There’s no joke there.  Just knowing that most of these are bound for 10 or 20 gallon tanks just makes me sad.
Lauby:  My name is Lauby and I approve this card. First card of the series and I have nothing of value to add.  Nice. Dethtron: way to choose alphabetical order to all of us.

The Von Show Festive Special

It's, umm.  Special.