Important Stuff

Monday, May 28, 2012

New Member Monday - Explosivo

Howdy, ya'll!  Just thought I'd open the post with a little American Idiom action to lull you into a false sense of relaxation before I get on to the business of blowing your minds.  Which will be a 3 step process.

Hitchcock needed 36 more steps to do what we about to.
1) The Return of Rip Steakface Von:  After some time off that involved a brief stint as a mixed martial artist (I'm assuming), Von is back on the HoP roster and ready to fill our our brain holes with more of his well missed brand of RPG erudition.  The first post on his new topic (as chosen by our intrepid readership) hit the news stand yesterday.  You should read it, by the way.  Future Von posts will resume on his regular Saturdays.

2) HoP Idol 2:  With the sudden departure of our old comrade in blogging, GMort, we've decided to move up our 2nd annual writing contest up a month.  For the time being it's called HoP Idol 2 and the details can be found here.  And don't feel bad if you didn't have the time to click on that link, you'll be reminded incessantly about this for days to come.

3) Blogs.  We had a ton of them this week and this last step is a 6 parter.


Sunday, May 27, 2012

[Games Anatomy] - Guess Who's Back?

As you walk south, the buildings appear more closely packed. Rows of high, narrow houses loom to either side of you. You can hear birdsong, somewhere, and there is a heavy smell in the air - either curry, industrial pollution on an unimagined scale, or dirty laundry. Possibly all three.

You come to a green space, bounded on all sides by a narrow road, with a knot of trees in the middle. Among the trees is a large cube, the colour of bone; a six-sided die, dropped perhaps from some celestial game and lost amidst the foliage. Atop the die sits a man with a beard. At your approach, he yawns, looks down from his perch, and intones in tones of remarkable smugness "Ah. There you are. I've got something to tell you."

Do you:
- turn back, certain you'll gain nothing of use from this oddball?
- press on, and see what he has to say?

art by Trampier


Saturday, May 26, 2012

Community Announcement - Headshots from the Heart is Now LIVE!

Hey cats and kittens, just a quick heads up this fine Saturday afternoon on the cool charity work by Dave G that you've been hearing all the buzz about.

Anywho, the live coverage started just a little bit ago (as I post this) and there's all kinds of cool updates and even some live video.

But that's not all!  No sir.  There's also the many and wonderous auctions that are going to be going up throughout the the next 24 hours.

You can find info a list of what kind of cool things you'll have a chance at here.  Though you'll have to go to the live stream page for the details on the when and how.

Good Luck to Dave and the gang!


Friday, May 25, 2012

The Weekly Top X - Raw Sexual Magnetism

Hello everyone and welcome to another House of Paincakes Weekly Top X!  With me as always are animated gifs of Kate Upton dancing.  Hi Kate!

Haha, right you are!  So... yeah.... that thing....  buuuuuuuuuh...

Wait....what were we talking about?

Something something Kate Upton.  No.  Before that.... something with counting...  Ah ha!  The Weekly Kate Upton!  Shit.  That's not it.  Though, note to self:  make that happen.

Ok, folks.  Go ahead and read these blogs while I figure this out.  Kate, take 5.

The Kate Upton Weekly Top X

1) Warpstone Flux - Battle Report: Blood Ravens vs. Chaos space marine
Battle reports with pictures are always great.  Battle reports with pictures of awesomely painted models are even better.  For those of you who didn't make the connection:  this battle report is chock full of pictures of awesomely painted models.  Full disclosure:  none of those models are Kate Upton.

2) Sons of Taurus - Space Sharks: WIP Rhino, Captain, Ironclad
Space Sharks are pretty rad.  Even if you want to fancy it up and call them Carcharodons Astra - which, I can't stress this enough - did not happen here.


Thursday, May 24, 2012

HoP Idol II Auditions Now Live

With the recent, and most likely (and most hopefully) temporary departure  of GMort due to the powers of that bitch IRL, we at the HoP have decided to go ahead on a planned resurrection of the HoP Idol contest.  We've upped our timeline on this a wee bit, but are happy to get right into the swing of things again after last year's wildly successful outing.  As an added spoiler, we may be adding an author or two prior to the contest getting under way, but we'll keep you abreast of that situation as it develops. 

For those that missed it last time around, this will be a singing writing competition aimed at finding a new author to give a permanent weekly series to on the HoP.  Weekly/Bi-weekly challenges will be assigned and our readership will vote on who stays in the competition as we eliminate prospects before the big final finale.  

Rumors that this year's contest would be patterned off of the highly superior NBC singing contest The Voice have proved false- those fancy ass spinning chairs are expensive as hell.... just ask Gary Numan.  More specific details about the contest format this time around will be made available as we make them up.  We're going to be pulling out all the stops on this one, but want to wait and see how many applicants we get this time around before we decide how to proceed.  This year you can all expect bigger and better challenges and a host of twists- although the twist could be that there are no twists... guess you'll just have to wait and see.

Instructions for entering the contest are after the jump.


Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Community Re-Announcement: Headshots from the Heart Charity Drive

Hey guys, SinSynn is running a bit late today so while you're all waiting for whatever insane thing he's going to post, why don't you check this out?

A while back, we posted a little announcement about Dave G's (of Wargaming Tradecraft) charity event.

In essence, it's a video game marathon and painted miniature auction where the proceeds go to the Child's Play charity.  All the details are here and here.

Anyway, Dave has masterfully finished up the minis for the auction and the actual gaming marathon is right around the corner and will be starting this Saturday!

So you have a few days to consider donating and drooling over Dave's amazing models.


Tuesday, May 22, 2012

GMort's Sabbatical

I know you we're all hoping against hope to see another GMort post today, but I'm afraid all I have is ashes and bitterness for you instead.

GMort is taking some time off.

I'll let him tell the story:

Hi Guys and Gal, 
Though I have greatly enjoyed the last few years writing for the IHoP network I'm sad to say that I no longer have the time or energy to commit do doing so with any regularity.

I will be the first to admit that the quality of my articles isn't up to the standard they once were and that's primarily due to lack of time. I also have almost no time to spend actually doing any hobby which means there's much less to inspire me I'm afraid. Should this unfortunate situation change then I hope you'll have a place for me again in the future but for now I'm afraid for now I'll have to call it a day. 
It's been fun...and I hope some time soon it will be so again... 

You'll be missed, man.  But you gotta take care of that pesky IRL stuff.  If you get that all nailed down, there will definitely be a place for back on the roster.


Monday, May 21, 2012

New Member Monday - Awards and Accolades

Hello and welcome to another week at the only blog network to have have won Shropshire's coveted "village of the year" award.  Keen!

Also, we got one of these.
I won't say that it didn't take a lot of hard work to clench the win, but not in the way you think.  It was a massive undertaking, but one mostly of deception, card board cutouts and caffeine fueled miscreantism.  And SinSynn may, may have killed a guy.  But he could be taking the heat off of Lo.

Note to self:  keep my eye on those two.


Sunday, May 20, 2012

[Musings of a Game Store Owner] Where Can I Get Some More Plastic Crack?

As a game store owner, I hear all kinds of jokes about being the 'crack dealer' and how it's so hard for my customers to resist...

We love it, and enjoy the joke to it's fullest. What a lot of our customers don't understand is that we have dealers too...

Our dealers are distributors. Our dealers reach us in a variety of ways- email, phone calls, direct trade magazines and more. Email has become huge- TheDude gets no less than 50 a day with sell sheets on new products and information on upcoming specials. They call at least once a week (sometimes more- we got a new rep from one of our smaller distributors who has not yet learned calling every day isn't wise) and often make deals to help boost their numbers.

Something that a lot of folks don't know is that while we get a discount on what we buy, we're restricted to how much by the distributor. They set the prices, and if we like a product that doesn't get a good discount, we gotta PAY to get it just like you do.

Distributors are able to sell lots of games to lots of people at pretty good prices, and give more geeks opportunities to play games they have not heard of, or seen reviewed and want to try, as well as expose designers and companies to the masses.


Friday, May 18, 2012

The Weekly Top X - Tig ol' Bitties

Phew... what a week!  Nothing like a Top X to take the edge off.  What's that you're saying?  This week wasn't all that bad?

Maybe not for you, chum!  And while we're on the subject, don't contradict me in front of the other readers!

The nerve of some imaginary people.

The Weekly Top X

1) Pitched Battle - Sanguinary Priest in Terminator Armor WIP: All but the Base
Sanguinary priests in terminator armor? I did not know such a thing was possible! Please, don’t tell me if it’s not. Especially since the WIP shots are lookin’ so good. It’d be like finding out that Mr. Pickles the cat really didn’t go to live on that nice farm.

2) - A 40k Artist Needs Your Help
If you’re the kind of person who likes helping people then this is the post for you. If you’re the kind of person who likes art, then this post is for you too. If you’re the kind of person who likes both helping people AND art, then what the hell are you still doing reading this sentance? READ THE LINKED POST ALREADY!


Thursday, May 17, 2012

Gaming on a Budget: Let's Get L33T

Want to start a new army, but don't have a lot of money to spend?  Well you don't have to go running for one of those fringe skirmish games that only the weird kid who smells like cheese at your FLGS plays.  It's time to put your bloated, mainstream army on a diet.

Today's mantra is a simple one:  Less is More.

Keep reading for some practical tips for saving money by shrinking your model count.


Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Gaming Moments to Remember

Hey folks, SinSynn here.

You know what sucks?

Getting in that 'hobby funk,' where you get all disinterested for one reason or another, or real life hits you about the head and neck area for a hot minute, or whatever. It's times like these that you might find me in full-blown 'woe is me' mode, flailing my tentacles about in anguish.
A lil' over a month ago, I prolly sounded something like this:
'Waaah! Of all the garages in all the world, why did someone hafta crash their car into the Ultimate Rival's? Why? What are the odds? It's the Dice Gods! I know it is! This is their doing! Curse you, Dice Gods...Curse yooouuuu!'
...later of course, I retracted that statement, and prostrated myself before a cube of Chessex 12mm's.

*Maybe sacrifice the occasional Justin Bieber fan to the Dice Gods. Keeps 'em happy*


Monday, May 14, 2012

New Member Monday - Work it, Girlfreind!

If you wanted to vote in the amazing and totally awesome poll Von had us run, then TOO BAD!  It's not like it was at the top of the page for a week or anything for all the world to see and participate in.  You missed your chance and now you have to live with the consequences.

Not even close to the kind of poll we were doing.
Fortunately, all of the consequences that Von laid out for us were pretty rad.  So maybe that's where we could make changes to get more participation.  Next time we'l actively punish you for not voting.  Genius!

In any case, I have reasonable assurances that Von and the beard that he co-authors everything with will be back in the very near future to remind us that while all British people own monocles and are thoroughly  snooty, not all of them are fancy about it.

New Member Monday

Falconator Painting
Keywords: Painting, 40k, Warhammer Fantasy
Keywords: Warhammer 40k and action figures

Arlequín's Worlds
Keywords: General wagaming, historical gaming, zombies, post apocalyptic

Pitched Battle
Keywords: Warhammer 40k; Space Marines; Blood Angels; Angels Sanguine


Sunday, May 13, 2012

[Musings of a Game Store Owner] Manufacturer Support

Which manufacturer of major game systems supports you the best in supporting their product?

Snafu asked this question last week, and it's a really good one. 

It's a hard question to answer, because "best" is completely subjective. I thought I'd talk a bit about some of the companies and the support they offer, and then offer some insight on what makes that support good, bad, in the middle or the best. 


Friday, May 11, 2012

The Weekly Top X - Vitamin A(wesome)

Proper nutrition is super important for many reasons.  But it can be hard to get.  So today I'm fortifying today's Top X with a massive dose of the oft overlooked but no less important supplements - Vitamin Awesome.  Just make sure you make it past the 1:25 mark so you can properly absorb it all.

All right, now it's time for the REALLY important stuff.

The Weekly Top X

1) The Shell Case- Why Do We Bother With Rumors?
It's a good question and a fair question.  And a well written post that deservedly need to float to the top of the 6th edition hullabaloo. Here's another question for ya:  does this post answer that question?  You'll have to read it to find out.

2) Whelpslayer - DiY: Recessed Bases
Recessed bases are a petty rad thing for when you really want to go crazygonuts on a basing project.  You can buy them, of course.  But you can also make them for much cheaper.  Probably with things you already have laying around.  If only we had a tutorial on that...


Thursday, May 10, 2012

Yo Dawg....

yo, I heard you like games, so we put a game in your game so you can game while you're gaming.

Ummm, yeah sorry about that.  Apparently it's still 2008 in my brain and Xzibit memes are ever the bee's knees.

But actually, while completely blanking on what to write about today, and not having time for a "Gaming on a Budget" project this week, I have been staring despondently at my non-functional Xbox.  Piece of shit broke just in time for me not to be able to play "Dead Island" or "Space Marine."  Not cool Xbox, not cool.  Then I remembered some sweet rumors I've heard lately about an upcoming adaptation of Shadowrun coming to gaming systems near you soon.  Unlike previous attempts at creating a game based on my favorite gaming universe ever, "Shadworun Returns" looks like it may actually attempt to finally create a true Shadworun experience in video game form.  Don't get me wrong, I kind of like the old Sega Genesis game from the 90's, but that FPS Xbox game from a few years back (approximately as far back ago as when Xzibit memes were hip) was a real POS.  According to the soon to be creators of the new project though, we should all hope for what may be the first ever cohesive attempt to create a video game based on a roleplaying game.

look out, the lawnmower man may be in there somewhere

Tracing this rambling line of thought a bit deeper, I honestly can't recall an acceptable translation of a Roleplaying or Miniature based game to a video game-ever.


Wednesday, May 9, 2012

The Internet Got Out, and It's Ruining the Hobby Again

Hey folks, SinSynn here.

As far as I'm concerned, the Internet is an integral part of my whole hobby

I get a kick outta the seemingly incessant 40k Sixth Edition rumors. I do. I won't deny it.
Shush...don't you judge me...

The release of Dust Warfare had me watching 'unboxing' videos on YouTube, and I was all up in Fantasy Flight's website like a Xeno STD.

Blood, Guts and Glory, the new Flames of War book, bought with it a new American Tank Destroyer list. Over on the FoW forums, admins are locking down a 25-plus page thread, since that list clearly heralds the end of life as we know it, and it's ruining the game.

Corvus Belli, makers of Infinity, seems to have slipped a new rule in with their monthly releases, causing some consternation amongst their fanbase, as well.'s all so deliciously amusing to me.

And vitally important, too. I build all my army lists on the Internet now. All of them.
Then there's my stalking obligations, of course...

*Megan pic for the Blogrolls today! :D*


Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Tuesday Discussion - Your Little Plastic Darlings

Hey everybody, we've got a slight hole in out schedule for the day as GMort is dealing with some crunch time at his new job.  I want to say it's because there's a sudden demand for Soylent Green, but, sadly, that's one dystopian prediction that just hasn't come true. Yet.

Anyway, I was thinking the other day about all these 6th edition rumors that have been flooding the blogosphere of late.  Between all the stuff that's out there so far, there seems to be a lot of worry about what 6th edition 40k will look like.  Which is understandable given every one's past experiences.  But that's not the point.  I'm not going to weigh in on the rumors or even discuss them today except tangentially .  

Rather I want to discuss a particular reoccurring theme that I've noticed here and there in comments threads and various blog posts.  It all has to do with people's armies.  Armies in the sense of a model collection and the idea that building and painting for 40k is a labor of love in many cases.  My suspicion is that a lot of the worry and angst people people are expressing over the rumored changes is a direct response to the the perceived threat that a disappointing 6th edition represents to one's labor of love/masterpiece.

So here are my discussion questions for you on this fine Tuesday afternoon:

1) Do you feel like my assessment in the preceding paragraphs is accurate?  And to what degree am I wrong or right.

2) do you think that the GW version of the hobby engenders a deeper attachment to one's army than other games?

3) How do you feel about the rumored changes with regard to your own collection/armies?

I know that anything involving the rumor train can be a bumpy ride, so let's be sure to keep it civil and on topic.  I'm also not particularly interested in the relative merits of the rumors (veracity of source, likely hood, any speculation you may have, etc) but if a particular part of the rumors are important to your point, don't be shy to include it.  I just ask that the discussion not get caught up in it and that people refrain from the whole 'worrying about this is stupid' shtick.


Monday, May 7, 2012

New Member Monday - Pegasi UNITE!

Look, I've been staring at a blank page for a while now.  I have no idea for what kind of pithy and life changing words to write here.  So I'm going to do what I do when I'm out of ideas:  the old fallback.

Here's a video to lighten up your Monday:

To this day, I remain convinced that the "Marzipan Girl at the Silver Lake Lounge" line is totally about a real person.

[UPDATE]  Von and the rest of the HoP staff would dearly love it if you took the time to vote in the poll you can't help but see there at the top of the page.  DO IT!

New Member Monday

A Downward Spyrle
Keywords: Warhammer 40K, Fantasy, Raven Guard, Imperial Guard, Space Wolves, Eldar, Wood Elves.

And a winning essay from the proud author:

Thank you for ignoring this essay. My blog is the result of my consolidation of two other blogs, "For the Wolftime" - that focused on many armies, and "The Medusan Triple Nickel" - that only dealt with my Imperial Guard. I have combined them to hopefully provide more frequent and higher quality articles. Once upon a time I wrote a tutorial on how to scratch build a treeman, it is pretty good. I also did one on making long barrelled heavy bolters, it didn't suck. Anyways, thanks for getting this far and considering to add me to you illustrious list of blogs.


Sunday, May 6, 2012

[Musings of a Game Store Owner] Value

In talking about the internet for the past few weeks, I have found that a lot of you are surprised by how much influence it appears to have on my business.

As one of the last bastions of brick and mortar, the internet is always something I have to consider when considering how to conduct my business. 

Many times, my answer is "I'm not doing that"; but I still think about the competition and how to react to it as well as how to learn from it. 


Saturday, May 5, 2012

Saturday Stall

Frontline Gamer and I still haven't managed to get together to put the final touches on our ongoing series.  Which kind of ruins the 'ongoing' part now that I think about it.

In the interim, I thought that maybe His Lordship, Von Chesterfield Worchestershire Billingsworth III might be ready for his comeback.  Unfortunately for your chances of a Saturday post, he needs some information first.  So we're going to be running a poll that you see at the top of this page (that you couldn't help but notice).  For about a week.

Sorry in advance to the authors and readers for the layout change - but it's only temporary and this is important, damnit!


Friday, May 4, 2012

The Weekly Top X - Unusual and True Stories

Howdy all!  We've got another hot steaming bowl of Top X goodness to pass around and there's more than enough for everyone.

Like this, only with blogs.
This is the exact point where I've run out of juice for today's intro, so lets just jump right in!

1) The Buddy Times - Girls and Robots!!! the miniature variety
For a long time I've had my eye on some of the Soda Pop miniatures stuff.  By now we've all got a fairly good handle on what Super Dungeon Explore is all about.  But they make other stuff to. Hashshashin here, picked up one of those 'other' models and I have to say that it looks pretty rad.

2) Watching Paint Dry - Skaven Doomflayer Complete
I've actually been following this one all week.  I was lucky enough to catch a look at one of the in progress updates and decided to include it in this week's Top X.  Then I got extra lucky and and Mr. Graham went and finsihed the thing.  Bonus points for this being almost entirely done in the new GW paints.


Thursday, May 3, 2012

On Sci Fi Tropes and GW

Discussion time folks.  I fully expect and encourage a lively, spirited debate on this subject, so please pay attention.

Warning, Sci Fi nerdery ahead

A while back, I had some choice words that I wanted to say about how all of the new Necron models look like they were ripped straight out of the Battlestar Galactica reboot.  Time slipped away from me and I never got to write that article.  Now, in the face of a 2nd wave of Necron models, I think it's time to bring that discussion back.  Since I've also had several months to think about it, I'd also like to highlight a few other pieces of Sci Fi imagery that GW has worked into their models.

After the jump I'll be displaying some of the greatest and most blatant offenders from the GW canon.  Feel free to link to more in the comments and participate in the discussion that will ensue.


Wednesday, May 2, 2012

Pushing the Limits of Decency.

Not talking about 40K this week...well not the 'on a tabletop' variety anyway...except we do use a table-top...because we sit around a table and our stuff is on the top...well using the bottom wouldn't make a lot of sense what with gravity being as single-minded as it is.....

Wait...let me start again...

Some time ago a group of friends of mine decided to venture into the world of RPG's...or re-enter for some of us as several of us had done them before...Fuck it I'm rambling again.....

We started with Deathwatch as being a giant armoured Space Marine was kinda fun...being an Evil giant armoured Space Marine is obviously even more fun so several of us gradually turned to the forces of evil or into an Obliterator...still not sure I've forgiven Tom for that...

1 comment:

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Drove My Chevy to the Levee

Hey folks, SinSynn here.

When I was a larvae, my parental units would bring me to the Terran institution known as Nathan's, where the culinary delights know as 'hotdogs' are served aplenty. Hotdogs were only one of the reasons I loved to go there, though, because in the back of Nathan's was a gigantic arcade.
I believe I was about 5 or 6 Terran standard years of age when a new cabinet was nudged in between the endless rows of pinball machines. That cabinet contained....

*Somehow ironic, or something*


Monday, April 30, 2012

New Member Monday- 1st World Gamer Problems

All right ladies and gents, the Warhammer 40k rumor train picked up some speed over the weekend and it sure as hell spooked me.  Probably a bunch of you as well.

Pictured:  being spooked

Change is scary.  Especially the kind of high-minded and out of touch change that those zany guys at GW HQ seem to love so much.

But you know what's re-assuring and maybe even comforting?  The House of Paincakes.  Especially the New Member Monday and all the warm fuzzy community stuff that it implies.

New Member Monday

Kanediens War's
Keywords: General wargaming tutorials, articles and battle reports

Sound Officers Call
Keywords: Historical Miniature Wargaming, Fantasy, Sci-Fi, Hobby, Bad Painting, Complaining, Bitching, Good Painting, and Griping

Keelhauling for Fun and Profit
Keywords: Freebooter's Fate, Pirate Miniatures and Games, Pirate Movies, Pirate Books, Pirate Comics, and:



Sunday, April 29, 2012

[Musings of a Game Store Owner] Talking Heads

My little "series" about the internet continues as promised,  with a discussion of podcasts and youtube videos up next.

As a store owner, the influence level of podcasts is pretty minimal. I don't see or hear very many of my customers being total fanbois and/or falling into cults of personality when it comes to podcasts. When I talk to folks about them, their interests are generally fragmented and personal; with no single show being the 'head and shoulders above the rest' or anything like that.

I wanted to check out the different programs that had been recommended to me, or I'd heard of somehow. I went over to Itunes to try to find some of them, and found them all right, but I totally failed in the ability to subscribe to podcasts. Somehow it never worked, and I just got all cranky and so I headed to the sites directly to stream or download so I can listen later. Here's my review of the places I checked out, as well as other pithy comments.