Funny Things


Saturday, July 7, 2012

HoP Idol II: News Flash! New Bike STC Could be on a Battlefield Near You!

Well well well, we meet again.  Time for another challenge for the HoP Idol II: The Revengening, competition.  Up now we have the incomparable Doc Brian from "Family that Slays."

News Flash! New Bike STC Could Be On a Battlefield Near You!

I've always been a fan of space marine bike armies. They're just so tricksy. Unfortunately, the models
look horrible to me. I mean, really. They look like they're riding scooters with balloon wheels. Or
maybe like the bike that big rockbiter guy rides in The Neverending Story. I guess it’s the foot platforms
that really push it over the edge. So, being the guy-who-marches-to-a-different-beat kinda guy I am, I
wracked my brains to come up with an alternative.

First, some inspiration.



I'm a big fan of the movie Akira. Kanada's bike in particular is pretty cool, but I couldn't see a space
marine on such a low-rider. It would be too impractical to climb up out of it when you need to jump off
and beat face.

Your basic cruiser bikes look a lot like the existing marine bike, so it wouldn't be worth building a custom
bike to get a similar look.

Crotch-rocket street bikes don't exactly fit the bill, either.

I need something big. Something bold. Something impractical. Something over the top sensational.
Something that exudes "Space Marine."




[Games Anatomy] Once More Unto The Breach, Dear Friends

Breach, of course, is another word for rift, and last week, I bounced off Kevin Siembieda's Rifts (R) Ultimate Edition like a British tennis player off Centre Court... what's that, sorry? Oh. Oh, I see. Well. Um. In that case, I'd better get back to Rifts (R), hadn't I?

This week, rather than ploughing through the book in order and foolishly expecting the core notions to be somewhere near the front, I've done what I arguably should have done in the first place and checked out the contents pages, which place such esoterica as 'How to Role-Play' and 'Notable Game and Rifts (R) Terms' on page 274 and onwards.

Okay, okay, I promise that's the last time I'll bang on about the poor layout of this poorly laid-out book. Let's skip the Dragons, the Psi-Stalkers and the Glitter Boys for now, and get on with the bloody rules.


Friday, July 6, 2012

HoP Idol II; "Guys, Can We Quit it with the Criticism"

Hey there folks, it's time for the next challenger up in the challenging challenge round of the challenging challenge that is HoP Idol.  Here come's TKE to drop some knowledge on you or make you angry about something or whatever.  Regardless, we're happy to have him here taking a break from his regular musings over at "Mind War, FTW!"

"Guys, Can We Quit It With The Criticism:

 

With 6th Edition 40k literally hours away at the time of writing, it’s become apparent to me there is a sizeable gap at the heart of the 40k playerbase.  It’s something I had not been wholly ignorant of before, I saw it expressed in discussions about 8e WFB, but not having been a regular forum user or Blogger when 4e 40k bit the dust, I couldn’t say if it was something that was unique to WFB players - not playing any of the alternatives like Infinity, Warmachine/Hordes, or Flames of War also hampered me in this regard...but there is a clear distinction between players who are happy with the new edition, and players who are...less so.


The Weekly Top X - Classified

Warning: Clearance:  Umbra-/Amaranth-/Omega

++++ Transmitted: House of Paincakes
++++ Received:  <<redacted>>
++++ Destination:  <<redacted>>
++++ Temporal Reference/Send: [5 077-sidereal] 0504012.M03
++++ Telepathic Duct: Locus Solar/HoP Terminus
++++ Sidereal/Ref/Ordinator: 77-0/y56-233/Astropath Hoegaarden
++++ Transcriptor: Autosavant Penitent -42C//Steve - [Liquidated after use]

Thought for the Day:  "Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss."

I hope this missive finds you all in good health and sounds of mind.  My agents have continuously and tirelessly investigated even the slightest rumors in the pursuit of information vital to the security of this sector of the blogosphere.  Though all of my people have entirely  given themselves over to our cause, Inquisitor Loquacious deserves special commendation for her efforts.  She has performed above and beyond even our already high standards.



Per your request, I have compiled a list of the most pressing concerns to the Ordo Paincakes for the past week culled from the reports of our field personnel.  


1) Chronowraith's Corner The Tip of the Brush - Having Standards OR "When is a Miniature Finished?"
Summary:  A being of immense knowledge has appeared suddenly and begun spreading a kind of enlightenment to a artists throughout the sector.  The nature of the being is unknown but is believed to be some sort of friendly, time-traveling spirit from beyond the Ghoul Stars.
Status:  Under surveillance.  Ecto Containment Units on order from the Munitorium.

Thursday, July 5, 2012

HoP Idol II: The Ties that Bind


Welcome back to the HoP Idol II challenge round my HoPateers.  Don't forget that voting will be going live this weekend after the final challenge entry goes up.  Today sees us with the one and only Gartenzing of "Gaming All Areas."  Prepare to have your area gamed...


The Ties that Bind

Hi all,

I’m Gartenzing, from Gaming All Areas. Now, I’ve got 3 options to talk about today, given
the rules of the competition. I can talk about a recent hobby project- well everything I’ve
been working on recently can be found at All Areas, so that would be a bit of a cop out. Or
I can do a book review, but the only books I’ve been buried in recently are Terry Pratchett’s
Discworld, Robert Jordan’s Wheel of Time and Churchill’s Diaries, none of which I feel are
particularly appropriate for HoP (anyone that wants to discuss these, feel free to leave a
comment over on All Areas.) This leaves me with the far broader topic of Gamer Culture!



Wednesday, July 4, 2012

Change Can We Believe In (question mark)


Hey folks, SinSynn here.

Sorta.

 Last night was 'epic barbeque night' here in the Bronx- pretty much everyone that lives in my apartment building made their way to the rooftop for a fun-filled evening of fine dining with the neighbors. We do this many times throughout the summer, and it's always big fun.
 The beauty of a rooftop barbeque is that one is not limited to just food off the grill. It's just as easy to make whatever you'd like in your kitchen, and bring it on up. That means you can have rice and beans with your steak, or ribs, or burgers, or hot dogs, even.
 And since this is the Bronx, you can bet a multicultural cornucopia of culinary delights will arrive in full force. Rice and beans is considered a staple here, but there was also payaya, curried chicken, oxtail soup, Italian sausages, even a giant bowl of salad with tomatoes and feta cheese done up in proper Albanian style.
 Oh so much food, oh so delicious.
 One of my neighbors broke out with some 'pre- Fourth of July' fireworks he acquired from some back alley in Chinatown, and another proudly boasted about his grandfather's still, located deep in the forests of the Dominican Republic, which has been producing ten thousand proof rum for decades, apparently.

T'was the rum what done me in, I'm afraid.
*Best not to ask why the bowling ball looks nervous*

Tuesday, July 3, 2012

HoP Idol II: The Term "Gamer" a Pet Peeve

It's that time again boys and ghouls- time for today's HoP Idol challenge.  Today's entry comes from Wyrd of " ."  If you like what you see here, make sure you go to his blog and also vote him up this weekend. I'd pretty well guarantee a lively discussion after this one.


The term "Gamer" - A Pet Peeve 
When I was growing up the term "Gamer" had a very different meaning. It meant someone who played tabletop role-playing games or miniature games. It belonged exclusively to this often elitist subculture like a badge or title of secret unity. You'd be out with a couple of buddies, overhear another group talking, you'd walk up, and ask "Hey you guys game?" If the answer was no there was a moment of confusion followed by an apology, but if the answer was yes it was an instant ice breaker and all the normal social dividers (race, gender, class, age, etc) would go out the window giving way to a sense of camaraderie among people who would otherwise be strangers.

Tuesday Discussion - Bug Guts

We're off to a rollicking start with this year's HoP idol, that's for sure.  But, sadly, the second entry for round 1 wont be up till later today.  So in the meantime, it's another Tuesday Discussion.

The big news right now is that Warhammer 40k 6th edition just dropped.  Well, actually... the bigger news is that 6th edition seems to be more along the lines of a natural progression from 5th rather than the 'holy shit, what the hell happened' jump that we saw with any of the most recent Fantasy Battle books.
Looks like we won't need this after all.
So, lots of good discussion & scientific dissection of the rules are all over the place and most of it's been pretty optimistic.  But that doesn't mean that it's been all sunshine and skittles.  There are at least a few things that people are having a hard time wrapping their heads around:  split FOC charts, purchasable fortifications, flyers and, the dreaded allies matrix.  The basic idea is that these things are all weird and discombobulating now but may get better after some playtesting to see how things will shake out.  Like I said, cautiously optimistic.

But there is one statistical outlier to this happy scatter plot graph - the fact that the Tyranids get fuck all for allies.

So, today's Menu:

1) Feel free to rant about the size of the shaft the Tyranids got.
2) Tell everyone why you think this makes no sense from a fluff perspective.
3) Bonus round: play devil's advocate and defend the decision.

Monday, July 2, 2012

HoP Idol II Challenge: Warhammer "Railgun" Conversion WIP

Well kiddos, it's about that time again.  This week's first challenge entry comes from Neil of the ever fantastic blog "The Dice Gods are Hungry."  Check out the insanity of building a railgun fit for the dark ages.

In an underground domain grubby, smelly, furry-faced monsters clad in dirty rags shuffle around plotting the destruction and enslavement of the world above whilst building weapons of mass destruction.  No, I’m not talking about Al Qaeda-I’m talking about the Skaven of course!

More specifically, I’m talking about my latest warp lightning cannon conversion dubbed ‘the railgun’.

New Member Monday - Hot Diggity Dog!

Hey ho, everyone!  The big day is upon us - the first full round of HoP idol starts later today and I'm not trying to brag, but I've been rock hard about it since I woke up this morning.

If you know what I mean.
In the meantime, we've got another lovely batch of new blogs to share.  You've only got something like 8 hours (as of this posting), before the first entry hits our page.  So you'd probably better get started exhaustively reading these blogs.

New Member Monday

Mydnight's Hobby Corner
Keywords: Malifaux, OGRE, Commissions, Scenery, Painting, and the occasional sculpting
Essay: I am not God's gift to the internet. I am the messenger of Yog-Sothoth, boot cleaner of Great Cthulhu, bell-hop for Nyarlathotep, understudy for victim 3478 in the 2nd act of The King In Yellow, and many other overlooked positions! I also happen to paint from time to time, and thought it'd be neat to share it with other people. I've been painting miniatures for fourteen years, and along the way I've picked up a few other hobbies that go hand in hand. Making scenery, a touch of sculpting, basing miniatures, and variations thereof.

El Clan de los Charizard
Keywords: Pokémon, Warhammer, videogames and more, Muy Caliente
Essay: Thank you.

15mm Strife
Keywords: 5mm SciFi, 15mm Fantasy, Infinity
Essay: I am the Walrus


Not you, 15mm Strife guy.  Just Donny.

HoP Idol II: Challenge the First

Greetings HoPpers and HoPpettes.  This week we're going to be running the first elimination challenge for HoP Idol- the blogosphere's only competition where players compete to take on a bigger workload!

All six finalists' articles will be run in the evening parallel to our normal posting schedule.  This means if you're in Europe, you'll be seeing these in the morning or if you're Australia or somewhere, you'll be seeing them last Tuesday (that's how this whole timezone shit works, right?!?).



The articles will Run Monday through Saturday in the order that entries were received.  Voting then opens up on Sunday and will run through the following Friday- enabling you, dear reader, to join in the democratic process and make your voice heard by selecting who will not continue to the next round of HoP Idol II.  The contestant with the fewest votes at the end of the voting period will be eliminated. 

After the jump, you can check out the challenge details and maybe a bonus funny picture.

Sunday, July 1, 2012

[Musings of a Game Store Owner] Accessories

I have more than one. I wear them to make me feel pretty, confident, put together or otherwise somehow BA. I match them to my outfits and sometimes bedazzle the heck out of them. I have fancy ones and super good-deal ones, and some in between. I show them off to anyone that will look. I love these wonderful showcases of personality; also known as PURSES.




Well fine and dandy. What the heck does that have to do with anything, much less game store stuff? 

I noticed that the folks at my store have accessories, too. 

Gamer/nerd accessories are a little different than mine; but have similar purposes.

The accessories vary according to the person, but there are a few common denominators.