Funny Things


Saturday, August 4, 2012

Games Anatomy- GURPS

Inside the HoP offices, 'Lo is rummaging around her desk for a Ho-Ho and sadly finds the drawer empty. She sighs and looks around the office and notices that it is also empty. Somehow, she has stayed past closing time yet again.

As she is looking around, she checks out her coworkers' desks. SinSynn's desk is more of a hovel than a desk, covered in slimy ick. Lauby's desk is covered in moving boxes and sternly worded warning letters. Dethtron's desk is cobwebby and barren, his voicemail light blinking steadily implying many messages. Von's desk is mostly neat, but has a large pile of Beards Quarterly stacked about the edge. There's an empty desk, waiting the newest arrival to the nuthouse  network. 



Loquacious starts to gather her very cute purse and keys when the main phone rings. She looks at the phone crossly, and picks up after apparently debating for a moment or two. 

"House of Paincakes, Harrassment Free Workplace since... today, how may I help you?'

Loquacious listens as the voice on the other end prattles on for quite some time. She holds up her finger as if to interject (even though the caller can't see her) and interrupts after a bit. 

"You just HAD ONE, and I filled in for you THEN, too. Look, I don't care if we're both wordy roleplaying wackos, why is it always me? Oh. Well, I'll do it for Hark, since she asked, then." 

'Lo hangs up and sits back down at her desk, a resigned look plastered on her face. She looks in another drawer for a beer and comes up empty there, too. She opens her purse and fishes out a pen, turns on her computer, and sits down to work.


Friday, August 3, 2012

Weekly Top X- SinSynn and 'Lo are The Usual Suspects

It’s a quiet late afternoon in the hills of southern california. Secluded on a brushy incline is a lush white mansion, with white lace curtains lazily floating in the gentle breeze in various windows. Low along the outer wall of the compound, a dark figure skulks in an attempt to keep hidden along the hedges. The figure is somewhat disguised by a trenchcoat, but telltale tentacles poke out from the bottom of the coat. One of them holds a digital camera with an ultra-mega-super zoom lens attachment. The squidly arm is trying to hold the camera over the wall and keep steady. 




Kind of like this, only creepier. 


Over the wall, we get a glimpse of one the mansion’s inhabitants, piercing green eyes glaring steadily at something in our direction. The pouty mouth is seen forming the words “restraining order” before the face turns away and our view is cut short by another form. 





There’s a nebbish fellow with a bush jacket standing behind the tentacled form, smiling at SinSynn. The smile is a little strange, in a creepy, almost menacing way. There are Coke bottle glasses on the man’s nose, and he has a pocket protector holding several pens in his jacket.

“I finally found you! You’ve been very tough to find this week. What’s the deal with hanging out at Megan’s instead of HoP or WoW?”

“Shhhh, James! I’m stalking my future wife. Don’t worry, though, the restraining order stipulates that I hafta remain 100 yards from her at all times, and we’re currently standing 100 yards and one inch away, so we’re good”

“Crikey, that’s a relief. Listen, I just wanted to make sure everybody reads my Infinity posts. I heard you were writing Top X with Loquacious again, so I was hoping you would maybe mention them.”

“Sure thing, James. Not a problem. Warp Signal rocks. Say, buddy, can you hand me that telescope?”

“That’s not a telescope. THIS is a telescope...”

SinSynn stares in disbelief, and wonders how that thing fit in a bush jacket.

“Fer the love of...you Aussies don’t do anything halfway, do ya?”

“No sir we do not. By the way, on my way here I passed an odd man sitting in a corner. He said he was keeping it warm for you.”

“Oh, that’s my friend Captain Kellen. Yeah, I’ll probably need a place to hide shortly. Good thing he’s nearby.”

“I also passed a very angry young woman with a mohawk brandishing a pitchfork. She inquired about your location...”

SinSynn visibly pales.

“Was she British?”

“I do believe she was. She said she wanted to discuss your opinions regarding scantily clad models, among other things.”

SinSynn begins hastily packing his spying equipment into the various pockets of his trenchcoat.

“James, if you wanna live, I suggest you run. Run now, far and fast.”

James is no fool; he and SinSynn beat a rapid retreat.




Thursday, August 2, 2012

HoP Idol II voting is live albeit a bit late

As the straightforward title of this post would indicate, voting is live for the HoP Idol contest. 

Apologies to the contenders and fans of the series for the delay in getting this out, but there have been some big things going on around these parts and a few setbacks.  But I guess that when the founders of the site are either moving halfway across the US or working 3 jobs and thinking that adopting a 3 month old puppy is a good idea, then these things are bound to happen.

Come with us now on a journey through space and time and revisit this week's HoP Idol posts.  Voting will be up through Sunday in order to keep things moving so remember to vote early and often.  Also, don't forget that you are allowed to vote up to 4 times in the contest as the contestant with the fewest votes will be out of the running.

Without further ado, ballyhoo, etc, here are the fricking entries:

TKE's "Musings of a Game store Patron"


DOK's masterfully titled "DOK"


Doc Brian's "Games Anatomy"


Gartenzing's "Memoirs of a Game store Staffer"


Neil's "Musings of an Impulse Buyer"

Wednesday, August 1, 2012

How Can I make a List With No PC? 0_o


Hey folks, SinSynn here.

Sigh.
My computer died a whimpering death the other day, so I'm sitting in the living room, using the Crazy Lady's computer. Good thing I keep all of my tentacle hentai on a ginormous portable hard drive, or I'd be pretty upset right about now. Blah.
*I think I pressed ctrl+alt+explode*

Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Around the Blogs Rolls - The Back 40k + Wyrd Plastics

Hey guys and gals, I was just snooping around the blog rolls this afternoon and came across something I thought I should share.

SandWyrm of the Back 40k has done a pretty great write up of the new Wyrd Games change to the way it produces the Malifaux  models.   There's a lot of good information about this recent announcement out there already, but I think the Back 40k post is a fantastic place to start.

Essentially, Wyrd have moved to digital sculpting, and hard plastic injection molding without making the moronic mistake of doing it at the exact same time of.. let's say.. an annual price increase that you could set your watch to.  Holy Cats and such.


If you're willing to wade through some forum spew, these threads on Wyrd HQ are also full of stuff:

 - Wyrd Plastic and Special Edition Models
 - Wyrd Plastic and the Neverborn releases
 - Wyrd Plastic and the Arcanist releases

We'll know for sure of this is the real deal once these babies hit the streets, but we could be looking at the next big step away from metal and a massive leap in quality over resin.

Now if Wyrd would just get around to cleaning up the Malifaux Rules they'd really have something.

Monday, July 30, 2012

We Interrupt You Regularly Scheduled Programming

Well, I will be specifically.

I'm moving in about a week (a little over 1000 miles away) and since this also goes hand in had with a new job starting the week after that, the HoP posting schedule is not exactly stable at the moment.


We've got a great group of authors here on the writing staff and it turns out that they're such a good team that we're well on our way to making sure that we have pretty good coverage for their lay-about bosses' lack of free time.  So I don't imagine that there will be many days like last Friday where we just plain miss something as important as a Top X.  Looks like I can cancel the team building retreat I had scheduled since they're already a team and so forth.

Anyway, I just thought I owed it to all our loyal readers and our stalwart blogroll members to let everyone know that things may be a bit dodgy around here for a little while.

Now, on to other stuff...

Today marks the first time on the HoP where we didn't have any new members join up, so for the love of god, people get out there and spread the word! Jeez!!  I mean.. if you wouldn't mind.  Sorry I flew off the handle there.  It's been a stressful couple of weeks.

Anyway, there's no New Member Monday today because of legitimate reasons and not because I slept in or packed boxes all day.

Though if anyone is interested, over on my blog you can take a look at what I was doing this past week when I should have been writing a Top X or scheduling a pinch hitter.

Thanks!

Sunday, July 29, 2012

[Musings of a Game Store Owner] Leagues

Last week we talked about the experience of the game store, and someone brought up leagues and their relevance to the enjoyment of a store and its' regulars.

I've noticed that leagues have an interesting  effect on the store overall, and I thought I'd talk about it at least a little. 

Leagues are almost always run by  a volunteer at the store, rather than a staffer. There are a couple of reasons for this, but the long and short of it is that a staffer has to pay attention to running the store and ringing up paying customers, not playing games.

As much as I love a good game with my local crew, I discovered the hard way that it's just not fair to any of them for me to constantly interrupt the game to go help a customer.



Our volunteers do a lot to come up with fun ways to play the various games we offer at the store, and for the most part, league play is enjoyable and exciting due to their efforts.

League play is a blessing and a curse. When we have a league going on, our attendance shoots up, and our players are more intent and focused. We see higher purchases and a lot stronger interest in actual play. As a store owner, those are all positives and we would be silly to discourage them from occurring.



There are invariably some new people or guys that are looking for something more casual than league play. We also have guys that sign up and then can't commit to the entirety of the league, or guys that want to join partway through.  With league play going on, it can be tough to accommodate these kinds of situations. It's often been suggested that we offer an open table for the casual or walk-in player on league night; but our space just doesn't allow for it at this time.  Trying to be inclusive to the casual player while supporting the league and promoting the hobby is one of our constant challenges.


Right now, we have two of the more interesting leagues I've seen going on, and I think they will do a lot to foster the hobby community. Rather than based on winning and losing, they are either about actual play, or the hobby aspects of the games being played.  They are also set up to be played at more than one store, with the idea of growing the community and increasing the overall player base. I really love seeing the intensity and devotion to the hobby from the players.

How do leagues change things at your store level? Is there anything you like a lot, or really hate? I'd love to hear all about it... 

HoP Idol II:n Musings of a Game Store Patron

 Last up in this week's challenge is yet another take on Lo's "Musings..." posts.  Looks like that one was a popular option.  This one comes from The_King_Elessar of "Mind War FTW."
Musings Of A Game Store Patron - Totally Not At All Like When Dethtron Did An Article With This Name

TKE here again, with a bit of a spin on the lovely Loquacious' usual lowdown of life ...something else beginning with 'L'.  Luckily, this article ties in quite neatly with hers this week, which will either work in my favour, or look like a cheap attempt to cash in and grab votes.  Either way, I'm going to write the article I want, just like I always do. :P  The fact that it kinda totally sounds vaguely similar to one 8 months ago on this very site doesn't matter - especially when I am taking a different direction.

I haven't been in as many game stores as a good number of you, though unlike most I have made the trip to the Mecca of GW's *ahem* 'Hobby' and pilgrimmaged (that's a verb, right?!) to Warhammer World, so that cancels it out?  I haven't been to a humongous number of places, simply because I live in a small country with a population of under 3 million (being within the larger confines of the UK is pretty irrelevant when separated by a mass of water) and the number of LGSes that have been open nearby in my lifetime is relatively limited.