Alright, so here's last week's project, finally dried and ready for photos. But first, a story (and yes, this actually did happen at band camp). While practicing for marching band one summer, I exclaimed to one of the other quad players: 'hey I just got this awesome new CD.' 'Oh yeah,' he replies. 'Yeah, CDs nuts!' Needless to say it was amazingly hilarious and after the 7th or 8th time I told him about my new CD and he still kept falling for it, it didn't get any less hilarious.
Ah, like all great comedic stories, I suppose this one just ends in 'well I guess you had to be there.' Ah comedy gold, I tell ya.
Shit anyway, here's that tutorial I promised. If you haven't figured it out yet, we're going to be re-purposing some CDs. You remember what those were right? How we used to get our music and multimedia content? The things that came after records and tape? Bah, you young whipper snappers.
Anyhow, if you , like me, happen to have scads of CD-Rs laying around, I've got some great uses for them. Obviously, anything discussed here could just as easily apply to DVDs or on a larger scale laser discs (it's like a record but there's a movie on there).
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| Kompressor does not build terrrain |
CDs make great bases for just about anything. If you're working on a sweet diorama or showpiece model, why not base it on a CD. Need something to mount trees or other terrain on that won't warp when you add paint and glue? Grab some discs and go to town.
In spite of stabbing myself in the finger during its creation, dealing with insane Spackle drying times, and my amazingly leaky basement giving me a run for my money I'm going to show you how to make a crater using a CD and a few other materials any terrain builder should already have on hand.
We all need craters at some point. They look sweet, for starters. Hell, if you use vehicles that are prone to exploding they're a must have. And if you're me, and frequently drop a dozen or more tanks on the field in one go, you can never have enough craters. Premade craters (or the moonscape from GW) are available, but frankly they're way too expensive for what they are and aren't even a convenient size. A CD is none of these things. It matches the size of most 40k tanks nearly perfectly and is dirt frigging cheap.
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| blue board |
Today I'll be using a demo disc of scratch mixes from the band that I started as an undergrad, Charlton Heston and the Damn Dirty Apes, which was formed largely to terrorize coffee shop open mics and alienate hippies. If you don't happen to have one of these lying around, any other disc will do, but probably won't sound as awesome.
While you're at it, grab some 1/2" blue foam insulation and cut or break it into strips that are about 1" wide.
Once your strips are cut, it's time to reach for a saw or utility knife. Using the cutting device of your choice, cut the foam into pieces that are around 1/4-1/2" wide. This is one of those steps where you don't really need to worry about being neat or anything. It's all going to get covered up anyway. Really you don't even need to bother measuring anything, just as long as your pieces don't wind up too wide.
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| this is where I stabbed myself. Not pictured: blood |
With all of the pieces cut out, use a knife to cut the pieces into an asymmetrical trapezoid. You'll want to have one side of this longer and less steep than the other. You'll see how this comes together in a bit, but the short, steep side will be the interior of your crater, while the long, less steep side with be the exterior.
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| glue time |
Now apply a dab of white glue to the bottom of each piece. Carefully arrange them in a ring around your CD. If any pieces are too long, you can always trim them after the glue dries, which will take just about for fucking ever if your workspace is crazy humid like mine was while making this. Try to randomly place the pieces, staggering some. This will help you avoid making a perfectly round, CD shaped crater. Trust me, this makes for a much better looking final product. Make absolutely sure that you don't cover of the hole in the middle of the CD- you'll understand why in a little bit.
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| arrangement of foam chunks |
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| Spackled |
After the glue is dry, it's time to apply some Spackle (filler). Don't be shy about it, put on a lot, there are lots of gaps to be filled between your foam pieces, after all. I like to use Spackle that starts out pink and dries white. This makes it way easier to tell if your piece is dry and even how much time you have left to work with the wet medium.
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| the anus looks way grosser in pink |
Apply a ring of Spackle around the center hole of your CD. This will probably wind up looking not entirely unlike an anus when you're done- and that's precisely what you're looking for. When we're all done, this is going to help add some realism to the piece and will wind up looking like a shell impact. There's no need to fill over the hole either, since your game board below will be visible below and help add depth.
While your Spackle is still wet, run to your
rubble box if you've got one. Stick a few pieces of rubble in and then cover the piece sparsely with sand. If your shit is already dry at this point or you're looking for a firmer hold, you can simply glue on your sand and rubble.
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| let this dry and then shake off excess |
After the excruciatingly long amount of time this will now take to dry, prime your piece with the spray paint of your choice. Since this is going on my city/ash waste board, I've chosen black.
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| don't know why, but still showing you primed black shit |
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| finito burrito |
Next use your
cheap craft paints to finish this off to match your gaming table. I simply mixed black and cream to make a dark and light gray. These were lightly drybrushed onto the crater. I then applied a wash of tin bitz to a few rubble pieces to break of the homogeneity. As a final touch you should leave the impact anus darker than the rest of the piece or even give it a wash of black, representing the power of the shell impact.
With that, you're all done and ready to hit the tabletop.
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| Cadia's finest defend a strategically vital hole in the ground from the Tyranid invasion |
Got another use for CDs or a terrible CDs nuts joke? Hit us up in the comments. Got an idea for a future Gaming on a Budget article? Drop us a line at info@houseofpaincakes.com.
Bonus Content
Here's a video from nearly 10 years ago of the Damn Dirty Apes in action. This was once described by a random Youtube viewer as "sucky." Enjoy the dildo fueled assault on your senses that occurs when nobody in the band can hear the sequenced track due to a complete lack of functional monitors.
